Friday, December 28, 2007

Living Large

I spent my last official vacation day cleaning my office, paying bills, balancing my checking account (which hadn't been done since September...YIKES), picking my mom up from the airport and other not so fun but necessary stuff. It had me reflecting that this is how I have spent most of my vacation time this year, doing stuff that has to get done, or that I've been wanting to get done, or that should have been done long ago. Very little, if any of it, was spent on "me" time or splurging. The sad thing is, I really don't mind. It was actually a relief to have the time to get caught up without having to burn the candles at both ends or add stress. Using my vacation time as such really kept things sane. And, even the thought of using it to travel or go someplace just now causes my stomach to knot and stress me out. There will be time for all of that down the road, but now is just not the time.

I still have Monday and Tuesday off as holiday. And, the decision to have Noemi work on Monday became a lot easier when the coordinator from the Regional Center wanted to come by and review the reports and discuss services. I know that he was approved for 1 PT per week and 2 OT per week, but not any of the details. I'm especially anxious for the PT to get started because Max has been complaining that his foot hurts a lot and woke up a week or so ago crying and crying and crying it hurt so badly. We missed the cut off for services to start right after the first of the year so the earliest is 1/16. Sometime, I need to find time to set up and tour two different locations for OT. There is one place less than 5 minutes from my house, but I didn't get a good feel for it when I called. The other is about 10 -15 minutes away, but I was more impressed with my initial screening call and have heard good things about it from one of Max's teachers whose son receives services from there. If push comes to shove and I can't find time to tour them both, and the farther one has appointments that work with our schedule, I'll probably go with it.

Anyway, just contemplating how sad my life would seem by many others standards, but how I'm content with it. I've taken the vacations, had tons of time to relax and be by myself, or read books, watch movies, etc. pre-kids. That time will come again, but it's not now. Really, the only thing really miss about my pre-child life is my morning hikes. My body, mind, and soul miss that.

I may not be living large by others standards, but I'm happy with my life and feel relief that I am now caught up on paper work and bills and that my office, while not spotless, is at least not the junk pit it had become over the last few months.

ETA: If you are one of the (what feels like) 500 people I owe a return phone call or email, it's not personal. I just made the decision to not answer the phone until I got finished with my office work and balancing my accounts which didn't happen until after Mad was in bed tonight. I didn't check email all day. And, I only check cell phone CID and messages, not house phone CID and messages so not sure exactly how many people I owe a call back, but it feels like a lot. All I know is that both phones rang off the hook today and I really had to stay on task to get done what I wanted/what I needed today. One must often make choices and my choice today was to get through the office.

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