Sunday, January 31, 2010

Snot and Crabs

I lived in the house of snot and crabs this weekend. It wasn't one of our more fun weekends, but I'll still take it over the work I get paid to do. If only....sigh, the break from work in spite of it all was good and really, I'm not ready to start back at it tomorrow.

N is starting to hold her own and fight back. R tried to push her off a toy and she pushed back hard enough he landed on his bum. He was put out. A bit later, he tried to take a toy and she turned and ran away laughing. And, she was faster than he was. He really didn't like that.

Last week, when N tried that, R grabbed her hair and pulled her down. She REALLY didn't like that. Yes, they have started going at it pretty good. I'm mostly trying to let them work it out themselves.

Max has decided that R can't play with him until he is 104. Or, 12 days from now. Or, when he is his age. Or, my age. R, bless him, likes any attention he can get from Max, even negative attention.

Crying kid. Sigh. Guess I got to go back on duty.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Finding the good

One of the highlights in recent days was N finding the remote control that has been missing for 3+ weeks. Now, if we can just find Max's missing shoe before picture day on Tuesday and R's missing slipper/Robbeze (or whatever they are called) we would be about caught up in the missing household items department.

It's been a long few weeks that has involved mild sickness for us all, whinny crabby kids, and me working lots of long days and nights. In fact, sadly, I am still working at 8:30 pm. Although I vow, I will not work tomorrow night like I did last week. It's going to be this way for awhile and that is just the way it is. I'm going to have to travel in a week or two and I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it in equal parts. The team is going to be there for a full week. I'm only going for 3 (or 2.5 workdays) long days which I feel guilt about but financially (child care extra hours and overnight pay) and emotionally I just can't be gone longer right now. Plus, Nomi's 90+ year old mom is here visiting and she will need to get someone to stay with her mom so she can stay with my kids. The logistics of single motherhood can get complex.

I kid you not. I have 1288 unread work emails right now. There just isn't enough time to keep up.

I have so many critical personal things that are just not getting done. Big things. Important things. Bills and paper work things. We won't even mention the Christmas Cards that haunt me every time I pass them, which is at least 20 times a day.

I can handle a lot of stress and I'm feeling pretty stressed out these days.

This weekend it will just be a low key family weekend with no plans. I can't really say no plans because I canceled a party invite to a good friend that I haven't seen in forever and talked to in so long I can't even remember to celebrate the adoption of her son and his birthday. I feel more than a small amount of guilt, but I'm sure everyone else will appreciate more not having the snot and coughs and buggers we would bring with us even more. And, we just need time to chill out and play. We all need a bit more cuddles and play. So, I think I am not even going to cook this weekend as much as "prepare" or maybe even do a big McD's treat one night and just "be".

I'm looking forward to it and we all need it. Now, back to work so I can get to sleep sometime tonight. That has also been lacking. Although, N was so knocked out last night and R up crying so much that he finally got that co-sleeping. Interestingly enough, without R in the room she slept much later than normal...or she is just sick and extra tired. At least someone around here got extra sleep. Right, back to work so I can at least get some.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The twin factor

If R was not a twin, he'd be co-sleeping with me tonight. If N, wasn't N, maybe the second choice would be for R to sleep on my chest in the rocking chair in their room. But, R isn't a singleton and N is his twin and nothing pisses her off more than R to get extra attention during the night. And, heaven forbid you take him from the room to give him medicine or do a breathing treatment or try to have him sleep in my room. Oh, the drama and fits that ensue. A month or two ago, I did it anyway thinking she would fall back to sleep. Nope. An hour later, she was still going strong even after I took poor R back. In fact, she was so pissed, she got out of her crib. When the screaming sounded louder, I went to check it out and found her in the middle of the kitchen. Now, they sleep in a crib tent and I'm almost positive that I had zipped it back up so not sure how exactly that happened, but she can be one determined and stubborn girl that one. She is going to be a force to be reckoned with as she grows. The funny thing is that she isn't so much that way during the day. She is more apt to be off doing her thing and her brothers are drawn to her like a magnet and she either revels in the attention or sets them straight depending on what type of attention they are doling out at the moment. She is mostly content to let R get all the attention while getting breathing treatments, probably because there is a show on and they usually only get TV/DVD's for that although if she does approach for attention, she does so cautiously and approaches from the opposite side R is on to avoid a kick to the head. But, at way, no how are you not giving her her due. She might not always scream. It's sometimes worse when she just stands at the edge of her crib or sits there mouthing her lovely watching you. She will not sleep with me in the room.* And, at this point, she will not sleep with R not in the room. So, poor R is feeling under the weather and for the better of the entire family is in his crib by himself in the room he shares with his sister/his twin. Hopefully, the Tylenol will bring that temperature down a bit and the fresh PJ tops (the one he had on was a bit damp as was his hair as he tried to sweat some of it out). And, as bad as I know he feels as I was changing him he smiled and said "ta da" like I have been doing when taking on/off shirts and getting hands out of sleeves. Because, that's the way he roles. At night, as long as his basic needs are met with milk, a change, medicine, a quick cuddle, he doesn't seem to mind letting it become the N show. Most often, they balance each other well.

* A few weeks ago, I had a rare night out with friends. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it since I hadn't been able to find a sitter, but it just so happened it was the night before grandparents day at Max's school so my mom staid over and watched the kids for me. R had woken up crying and when she went in to check it out. N did her fit thing and my mom held and rocked N for probably almost 2 hours. I found her there when I got home. I laughed when I heard this and called her a "sucker". N will cry ALWAYS to get her due, but as long as R is there, she will settle down after a minute or two. I took over for my mom, rocked N for a minute or two, kissed her, put her in the crib. She cried for about 30 seconds. The thing is N didn't fall asleep the whole time. She touched her face. She snuggled in. She loved it, but she won't sleep. My mom didn't seem to mind and probably good bonding for both of them. Neither twin usually gets that much 1:1 so I was fine with it. But, boy can she and will she work it at night. It's not even really that R woke her up. 98% of the time she will not fuss with him. She will let him do it all to get the attention in the door. Then, forget the fact that he was upset or sick or whatever, it's all about her. Her night and her day personality aren't complete opposites, but they are different.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Not all work

Life hasn't been ALL about work lately, but there hasn't been much time for the kids or play either. I knew January was going to be busy, but the reality of it is hard on me and the kids and Noemi as I think I've had late meetings that have run over almost every single day the last week or two. It is being exasperated by the fact that I (and my current boss) think he is going to be removed from his position with the question being whether he is put on a layoff list or moved to another assignment. We have a replanning activity underway and my boss's boss's boss has made it perfectly clear that I, instead of my boss, is on point to run and lead this. Now, my boss's boss's boss is the person I used to support directly in my prior job and he and my boss's boss moved me into this position this summer so we do have a direct working relationship. It's just a lot right now trying to balance it all. And, I have to fit in dinner and getting ready for bed in with my "quality" time with the kids. Then, go back to work and get the rest of my must have done things before I get to go to bed.

Both Max and I had off on Monday and instead of staying in, cuddling up, and spending it as a family, we ditched the twins and took the metro to Exhibition Park downtown. As I was standing waiting for a bus getting drenched in pouring down rain reminding myself that I have not one, but two working cars sitting at home, I reminded myself I wasn't doing this for me as Max danced around trying to catch rain drops on his tongue.

I also managed to buy a new used waffle iron off ebay and give it a trial run this weekend. LOVE it and it is bigger so made it all go so much faster. I think Max ate 3 or 4 and the twins had seconds or thirds as well. I did some cooking this weekend...enchiladas made from left over slow cooked pork roast and slow cooked beef. Max requested meatballs yesterday (Coscto frozen put into crock pot with catchup and jelly on low all day...sounds a bit gross, but I haven't met anyone yet including my kids that don't love them...good for parties as well) and made slow cooked chili today. Truly, I don't remember Monday.

Last week, we had minor flu bugs where Max had a bad tummy ache one Morning. R vomited all over his crib. N vomited all over me. Pretty much par for the course. Max has never been one to have too many tummy troubles. In the last few months, R and N have puked more times each than Max has in his entire life. I think each and everyone of those times N has puked on me.

This week seems to be cold, cough, congestion week. R's been a bit wheezy and coughy, but not bad. We are doing breathing treatments, but haven't needed to be too aggressive. Max seems to have it the worst, but no fever. He's ended up in my bed (early) the last few nights which I really hate but have allowed because I know he isn't feeling well and because work has consumed some of our normal time so I figure he needs it. Last night wasn't as bad because he wasn't leaning into me and be right up against me all night. Also, with this sickness, we've had some bed wetting almost every night. If I get him up when I finish work, he is usually good, but the last few nights including tonight he's peed before that has happened or anyway. At least now I know that it is related somehow as the rest of the time (when he isn't sick) he and his bed stay dry.

Many days, I just wish it weren't so busy and I had a few minutes to breath or for basic hygiene like showering. Speaking of showering, I should have taken the chance tonight as I'm sadly overdue, but think I will have time in the morning after my 6:30 am meeting before I have to take Max to school. I'm just trying to remind myself to enjoy the time I can with the kids as much as I can.

We've been having rain and more rain and more rain this week. I've taken/let the kids go out and play in it or the puddles after dinner since they've had to spend so much more time indoors than normal and Noemi/the school don't. They've loved it and I remind myself once again that it isn't for me when I'm then rushed to get the kids dry, bathed, in PJ's and warm when there are three of them and one of me.

Overall, the Neomi leaving at 3 and taking the twins with me to pick up Max is going fine. There are days, especially bath days when I'm solo that things get a bit too crazy. Crazy as in, for example, R pee's on the floor before I can get a diaper on him. N pee's on the floor before I can get a diaper on her. R diaper gets off and he poo's on the table he has climbed on. While I'm trying to get him cleaned up first as it is all over his freshly bathed body, Max is laughing and trying to get N to go "play" in it and no amount of telling him that it isn't funny convinces him. So I've learned the hard way to not totally do one child, but to do one round of dry everyone off. Another round of getting diapers only on twins. A third round of getting PJ's on. It all wouldn't be so bad if once they were in bed, I was done. But, I just go back to the work I'm paid to do.

Somewhere in all of this my cousin came for the weekend because she left a bag here she needed and she/they (her husband and daughter) helped get Christmas put away, we had a party for her daughter who is a newly minted teen, and they watched the kids so I could have a rare and lovely night out with the girls.

This weekend, I think it is just us. No big plans. No birthday parties. I think we all need it. Some chill not frills time. I'm looking forward to it. I think the kids are as well. Only a few more days. Then, it starts all over again. I guess we are in a live for the weekends phase right now.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Less behind

When my cousin came last weekend, she left a bag here that has stuff in it she needed so back again they came this weekend. And, helped take down all the Christmas decorations, took the twins yesterday and Max today on long walks to give me a break, watch the kids last night so I could have a rare night out with some friends, and took Max to a birthday party for me today so I could have some twin time. Twins are napping. They aren't back = computer time for me. Yeah! Yes, the house is a wreck and I still need to get those Christmas cards out, but...hey...some biggies got done this weekend. Maybe, just maybe a short nap is calling. Could I be so lucky?

Friday, January 08, 2010

Just behind

I'm about 70% done with Christmas cards....meaning one has gone out in the mail, about half are written and addressed, but not yet mailed and I need to assemble the rest and get them in the mail.

Christmas decorations are up still. I made a choice not to spend my last few precious vacation days taking them down and doing fun stuff with the kids instead. I don't regret that. And, this weekend, I have company and the start of the birthday party circuit so it's not happening any time soon. They will get down at some point. Max is arguing for leaving it up all year. My hope is that by the end of the month I'll have eeked out time and gotten it done.

Vacation was great. We did some fun stuff like all go to the zoo and the Noah's Ark exhibit at the Skirball. Max and I took a metro trip to the Aquarium, and we had several PJ days. Christmas present were all enjoyed and a big hit

The hardest part about being back to work is how much the kids miss more of my time and attention. Especially N. And, work is really busy and will be probably all year, but especially from now until summer. I worked every night this week and that likely won't change for awhile. Unless by some miracle I become independently wealthy.