Sunday, January 24, 2010

The twin factor

If R was not a twin, he'd be co-sleeping with me tonight. If N, wasn't N, maybe the second choice would be for R to sleep on my chest in the rocking chair in their room. But, R isn't a singleton and N is his twin and nothing pisses her off more than R to get extra attention during the night. And, heaven forbid you take him from the room to give him medicine or do a breathing treatment or try to have him sleep in my room. Oh, the drama and fits that ensue. A month or two ago, I did it anyway thinking she would fall back to sleep. Nope. An hour later, she was still going strong even after I took poor R back. In fact, she was so pissed, she got out of her crib. When the screaming sounded louder, I went to check it out and found her in the middle of the kitchen. Now, they sleep in a crib tent and I'm almost positive that I had zipped it back up so not sure how exactly that happened, but she can be one determined and stubborn girl that one. She is going to be a force to be reckoned with as she grows. The funny thing is that she isn't so much that way during the day. She is more apt to be off doing her thing and her brothers are drawn to her like a magnet and she either revels in the attention or sets them straight depending on what type of attention they are doling out at the moment. She is mostly content to let R get all the attention while getting breathing treatments, probably because there is a show on and they usually only get TV/DVD's for that although if she does approach for attention, she does so cautiously and approaches from the opposite side R is on to avoid a kick to the head. But, at way, no how are you not giving her her due. She might not always scream. It's sometimes worse when she just stands at the edge of her crib or sits there mouthing her lovely watching you. She will not sleep with me in the room.* And, at this point, she will not sleep with R not in the room. So, poor R is feeling under the weather and for the better of the entire family is in his crib by himself in the room he shares with his sister/his twin. Hopefully, the Tylenol will bring that temperature down a bit and the fresh PJ tops (the one he had on was a bit damp as was his hair as he tried to sweat some of it out). And, as bad as I know he feels as I was changing him he smiled and said "ta da" like I have been doing when taking on/off shirts and getting hands out of sleeves. Because, that's the way he roles. At night, as long as his basic needs are met with milk, a change, medicine, a quick cuddle, he doesn't seem to mind letting it become the N show. Most often, they balance each other well.

* A few weeks ago, I had a rare night out with friends. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it since I hadn't been able to find a sitter, but it just so happened it was the night before grandparents day at Max's school so my mom staid over and watched the kids for me. R had woken up crying and when she went in to check it out. N did her fit thing and my mom held and rocked N for probably almost 2 hours. I found her there when I got home. I laughed when I heard this and called her a "sucker". N will cry ALWAYS to get her due, but as long as R is there, she will settle down after a minute or two. I took over for my mom, rocked N for a minute or two, kissed her, put her in the crib. She cried for about 30 seconds. The thing is N didn't fall asleep the whole time. She touched her face. She snuggled in. She loved it, but she won't sleep. My mom didn't seem to mind and probably good bonding for both of them. Neither twin usually gets that much 1:1 so I was fine with it. But, boy can she and will she work it at night. It's not even really that R woke her up. 98% of the time she will not fuss with him. She will let him do it all to get the attention in the door. Then, forget the fact that he was upset or sick or whatever, it's all about her. Her night and her day personality aren't complete opposites, but they are different.


Anonymous said...

Oh, wow, Deb. I love hearing about all the intricacies of twin behavior and dynamics! Fascinating and terrifying. :):) Hope R is feeling better.

Love, Laura

Laraf123 said...

That is a really interesting dynamic! Hearing about twin bonds and sleeping habits fascinates me. I had hoped that my two boys (not twins) would share a room; however, the younger is the king of nighttime drama. So much for best-laid plans!
Hope tonight goes smoother for all of you!