Sunday, January 29, 2006

Current Reading List

The last book I read was “the curious incident of the dog in the night-time” by Mark Haddon. I mentioned it in a blog awhile ago, but completely butchered the name and have been meaning to post to correct my error.

The book I just started reading this weekend is “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. A fellow SMC who had daughter about 10 weeks after Max mentioned she was reading it and was enjoying it so far. I decided to give it a go as well for a few reasons.

For one, I like reading and learning new things. I don’t have to agree, but I like to hear the different theories and ideas.

Also, my sister was over the other evening. She was holding and rocking Max while I did something (straightened up? ate dinner? who can remember?). And, Max dozed off in her arms. She was so proud of herself for getting him to sleep and I commented that I would be surprised if he fell asleep/stayed asleep because he has been going to sleep between 7:15 and 7:30. I was right. He dozed for a bit. Woke up, ate. And, fell asleep at 7:20. I didn’t quite realize that he had fallen into such a habit until I said it. Another night, Max fell asleep about 30 – 45 min. later than his new “usual” and woke up about 30 – 45 min. earlier than normal (6 – 6:15 am). Along the way, he has stabilized his night sleeping schedule and I must have unconsciously realized it since I noticed when it was off.

Lastly, while Max has never been a big or long napper. Ever. I noticed last weekend that he slept about 3 hours both days. One day, I napped for about half of that with him. The other, I had 3 whole hours to myself. A rare treat. Then, this week, I noticed that he was clearly tired, but couldn’t fall asleep or wind down. This was really the first time this behavior occurred in him. In the past, if he was tired, he fell asleep. Reading the first few chapters of this book, I now realize that his sleep pattern changed. The book said it typically happens between 12 – 16 weeks. Max is now 26 weeks, but …hey…each kid is different. Or, as Dr. Weissbluth (author of the book) says, each child is like a snowflake and unique. In the graphs in the book, Max seems to be around the 15% in total amount slept at night, during the day, and duration. Basically, 85% of kids his age sleep longer than he does.

I “browsed” the book last night after Max went to sleep. Randomly flipping through and reading bits and pieces. However, I have learned from past experiences that I can often leap to wrong conclusions or ideas and/or take things out of context when I do this. So, I went to bed at a decent time. Like I predicted, I did not get a nap in yesterday, but snapped out of it on the way to the restaurant and had a decent time. We took two cars because my sister Julie, whose b-day we were celebrating, needed to run errands afterwards. Julie and my mom road together on the way there. My sister Kris road with me. I was muttering and complaining about having to drop everything and getting a million phone calls while I got Max loaded into the car. My sister Kris just busted up laughing. She said, EXACTLY, I thought it was just me. She said, I needed that to snap out of my funk cause I was feeling the same way. So, we had a bonding moment. Laughed it off. And, had a good time.

I’m only on page 32 (reading bits and pieces while I could when feeding Max), but have found what I have read very interesting so far.

Without even reading the book, I noticed this week that Max has been tired/ready to eat then nap just about the time we are getting back from the morning walk. This is typically about 2 – 2.5 hours after he woke up. So, this morning, I came home. Quickly put the groceries away, went to the bathroom, and climbed in bed with him to feed him. He fell asleep within 15 min. He slept for about an hour. This gave be enough time for “Animal Bath Day”. Yes, they were all less than thrilled, but my K-9 and Feline family members all got cleaned today. Okay, it is more like an outdoor shower. I have a hot/cold hook up outside my kitchen that I use for these purposes. City Boy did better than I thought during the shower. He even let me towel dry him for a min. or two before he had enough. He gave me evil looks and was generally pissy for about 30 min. I have learned from past experiences that Shadow must always be the last in line. Otherwise, she will find a nice dirty spot and roll in it. It was Lucky, CB, then Shadow. Finished just in time for Max to wake up.

I had read the book enough this morning to try to put Max down around 12:30 ish for another nap. I tried it and we both slept this time. Me for 60 min. Him for 90.

He then had a brief 30 min. nap in my arms between 5:30 and 6 while I read more.

He is not falling asleep on his own by any stretch of the imagination, but he did get almost 3 hours of sleep in today and it felt like a good routine for him.

I think I will wrap this up and see how much more of this book I can devour before my bedtime.

The other book I bought at the same time I bought the sleep book was The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Unless something else catches my eye or interest first, it will be the next book read.

Off to read and learn more. It is a very interesting book. I like that he gives solid reasons and rationale for his theories. He doesn’t just tell you “what”, but also “why” and “how come”. My kind of book.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Ring, Ring -- SMASH, CRASH, BASH goes the phone

I think I may really hate my family right now. Okay, maybe not hate, but I am seriously annoyed with them. All I wanted was a little nap. Yes, it was only 9:30 in the morning, but Max was tired. I was tired. If I didn’t nap when I got the chance, he would be wide awake and wanting attention. There are no second chances. I swear, my phone rang over 15 times in the hour I tried to lay down and take a nap. Max is sleeping peacefully. He will be alert, awake, and wanting attention soon. His mommy will still be seriously tired and grouchy.

Why was my family being so annoying and calling and calling and calling? Was there a problem? Someone hurt? Someone injured? Anything remotely serious?


My sister’s plans got cancelled for today and she wanted us to now drop everything and have her birthday lunch. When I mentioned how annoying it was to get so many calls because I was trying to take a nap. She said, well, it’s early, how would I know that you were trying to sleep!

HELLO! Can I just say for the record, it doesn’t matter what a person is doing. It is inconsiderate to repeatedly call someone when they don’t pick up. If they wanted to or was able to get to the phone, they would have done it the first place. Somehow, I should not have to explain this to them. I don’t know why I even bother to try. They will not change. They do not get this simple concept.

Fine, whatever. I will go on the stupid birthday lunch where my sister drinks to much and everyone else is happy and cheery and if one person says I am crabby. I think I will either cry or hit them.

Bottom line is that my window for a nap today is gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

And, I really needed it. Any good mood I have in me today, I am going to save for my cute little boy. It isn’t his fault I am tired. He really only woke twice. Ate, and went back to bed. Yes, he was up at 5:30 am this morning wide awake, coo’ing and ready to play. I can’t fault him. I tried to tell him that this wasn’t a work day, we could sleep more. He didn’t get it. Not his fault.

Lucky’s tummy was bothering her again. She wasn’t eating. I shoved a prescription anti-nausea medicine down her throat at about 2 am. I tried to give her some canned food because once she gets something in her tummy, she is usually fine. She wouldn’t eat it. First time she has turned her nose up to canned food. Before our hike this morning, I shoved another pill down her throat and she actually ate some of it. Good sign. Disconcerting on why she keeps getting so nauseous and stops eating. Vet doesn't know. Only more very expensive test to rule out one thing after another is left to try. I keep hoping it is just a phase and will go away.

At some point in the middle of the night, she must have been out and was trying to get back onto her spot on the bed. City Boy was in her spot and refused to move. So, she started whining. I wake up. See what is happening. Tell CB to move and go to his own bed. He shakes his head fine and saunters over and settles down. Lucky climbs up and I try for a bit more sleep.

That’s the type of stuff making me so tired. I don’t think I got more than a two hour stretch of sleep at a time last night.

All I wanted was a f-ing nap. Sigh!

Don’t tell me I should just have turned the phone off. Don’t. Not in the mood. When I laid down with Max, I was just out of the shower. I didn’t really know that he would fall asleep. I was so tired that getting out of bed to get the phone or turn it off was too much effort. Had I know that my idiot family was the culprit, I would have. But, by the time I had to get up, all chance of a nap is lost. I am just not that great of a napper, especially so early in the morning.

Don’t feel sorry for me. I will hopefully get some sleep tonight. It is very rare to have two such bad nights in a row. Just vow to never, ever repeatedly call someone just because YOU want to talk to them at that precise moment. Think about them. They must not want or be able to talk to you just then. Get over yourself. Be a little considerate. Just DON’T DO IT.

And, that is all I have to say about that on this subject.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Formula #3, third time is the charm?

I started Max on yet another formula today. This is our third. One day and 2 oz. in and I’m thinking this one may be the charm. We’ve been mixing 2 oz. of formula with 4 oz. of breast milk. On the other formula’s Max would get gassy and fussy in the afternoon and evening after having it. He wasn’t napping/sleeping well because he kept waking up with gas pains that I would have to help work out and/or shove Mylicon down his throat. Today, he was just fine. It was the Good Start Soy Formula. I’m thinking the little guy may be a tad lactose intolerant? The soy based one seems to have the best reaction so far. We will do the 2 oz./4 oz. mix for another few days to see how things go and if they keep going well gradually increase. It will be a relief to be able to have him on formula full time when I have to go out of town because I don’t think I have enough milk stored right now. I have only pumped once or twice since I have been back to work from the holidays. We have been working off of my previous store, but I am starting to get low and haven’t had time or energy to pump. Plus, once I get him set with the formula, I can start re-introducing the foods. I’m really hoping this one does work cause I was running out of options.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

My family

My odd little family spending Sunday together. Lucky is no longer afraid of City. In fact, she has started to hunt him when she is a tad bored. City Boy is holding his own and, while weary at times, isn't off hiding. In fact, Lucky and City have been sleeping side by side at the foot of my bed at night. And, they are currently napping on dog beds next to each other in the office. Every one is napping except me. I’m not complaining, I am avoiding dishes and wasting time on the computer.




City Boy

Lucky and City Boy

Saturday Night



City Boy


What a life!


Pictures last Wednesday when my mom was here. She is a huge Laker fan and insisted on a picture of Max with this top on.

Stopping to smell the roses

A rose by any other name, would it smell so sweet?

I was talking to the friend who visited the other week about stopping to smell the roses because she brought one in from the garden one day while she was here and it was such a nice visual treat every time I saw it, that I replaced it yesterday with another beautiful one from my garden. Okay, unlike her, I couldn't just stop at one; I had to bring in three. I do just love roses.

Another rose from the garden, one of the three I brought in.

Anyway, speaking about stopping to smell the roses made me think.

Sometimes I actually feel sorry for Max. When we are out walking and I see roses, I DO stop and smell them. If they are fragrant (not all are), I then shove Max’s nose in it and tell him to smell.

Then, on the not so fragrant side, when I stop and pick up the dog poop on our walks, guess who is closest to the goods and gets the best smell?

It is no wonder that Max doesn’t really mind the wind in his face because when I blow dry my hair, I aim the dryer on and off at him. In writing it out, it seems a bit like torture, but he LIKES it and laughs.

Max really isn’t bothered by/likes being out in the rain as well. When he was just born and had jaundice and I was told to put Max in the sun, it was summer and hot here. To keep him from over heating, I would take the spray bottle and spray him down. LOL. He would squirm a bit in surprise, but never cry over it. Family and friends who saw me do this were horrified, but when I asked they had to agree that he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. And, when I have Max in the bathroom with me, after washing my hands, I usually flick the water from my hands in his face. Again, sounds a bit mean, but he thinks it is funny and laughs every time. How can I not do it when he likes it so much?

I guess the question is, is Max just extra ordinarily good natured or have I conditioned him from the womb? Probably both. I only feel a little sorry for him, and then I realize that he is just extra ordinarily fortunate. Not to many other mom's would give him experiences like I have. Or, could be I am just deluding myself. Either way, it really is never dull around here and I don’t need to go to any stinkin’ classes to stimulate my child. LOL.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Signed and Sealed

Birth announcements are signed and sealed, but not yet delivered. I’ll drop them in a box tomorrow. What a relief! I didn’t plan on being so ambitious this weekend. It just happened. Took long nap with Max today. Yes, that is why I am still up at this time of night.

Max was very fussy today. Much fussier this evening. Even after a 3 hour nap, which is almost unheard of for him. I knew it was bowel/intestine/gas related. Kept shoving Mylicon down his thought every 4 – 5 hours. Finally, he had explosive diaper requiring a complete change. Then, my happy baby was back. For just enough time for me to open a bottle of wine and call back my sister. Then, another explosive diaper requiring a complete change. Sigh. Such is the life of a mom.

Then, he crashed hard and is still asleep. Half a bottle of wine and the announcements are done. Boy, I accomplished something concrete today. Feels nice.

Took some cute pic’s today, but too lazy to load them off the camera right now. Maybe another day.

Must go track down cat who ran outside when I had door open to take out trash after cleaning out his litter box. He can't come to any real harm, but it is cold and dark and late. He really enjoyed cuddling tonight with Max and the dogs snoozing away.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Too Good To Be True

I fell asleep with Max last night about 7:30 pm. He was a bit fussy. Straining to pass gas. Finally, I gave him some Mylicon. It seemed like it took awhile to work. Running out of things to try, I put on my PJ’s, put him in bed with me, and fed him lying down on his side. That seemed to do the trick and he was asleep in about 5 min. I was asleep within 10. I got up at some point to turn off the lights, go to the bathroom, and put Max in the co-sleeper (the crib just seemed too far to walk). I’m a tad worried because I started Max on formula yesterday. It is supposed to be the most easily digested and he really didn’t have that much – 4 oz of breast milk mixed with 2 oz of formula in the middle of the day. Maybe it is just coincidence because I had Mexican for lunch with a ‘Rita? I guess tomorrow will tell.

Max slept until about 2:30 until he needed more fuel. I fed him off of both breasts and he is back asleep. I’m not so lucky. But, if you count them, that was 7 hours of pretty much straight sleep. My old ideal. I’m rested enough I didn’t think I would be going back and since Max is in my room, I didn’t really want to turn on the TV or the light to read. I guess I could have moved him, but….

I was laying there thinking about something I have been thinking about for awhile now. I don’t think about it every waking second. It is just something that has been lurking at the edge of my subconscious for awhile now. Here it is….

My life seems to be going so well. I am so happy. Motherhood is all I expected it to be and more. I feel content. Like, I am living the life I was meant to live. It really is a great feeling. BUT, it almost seems too good to be true. I’m kind of waiting for the shoe to drop (so to speak). Waiting for something bad to happen. It isn’t as if I don’t think I deserve to be this happy. I do. I never really thought of myself as a negative glass half empty kind of person. I don’t know. Maybe I was always that way and just never realized it. Or, maybe the ttc process and the miscarriage took an even bigger toll than I realized. Or, maybe I just can’t ever remember being this happy in my life. I really can’t.

I mean, life isn’t perfect.

I still have that ‘roid and baby wipes and ‘roid cream hanging out in my bathroom.

The job that I used to love has turned into a job that is just okay. One that is paying the bills. One that I wish I didn’t have to do so I could spend more time with Max. I don’t hate it, but I don’t really love it anymore. It isn’t just Max and having him in my life. There were a changes that happened while I was out on leave and that have happened since that have contributed. However, because of Max, I am not making a change right now like I probably would have. And, if I hadn’t been out on leave with Max, probably some of the changes wouldn’t have happened or I would have had more influence in how they happened. I really wasn’t expecting my feelings about my job to change so much after having a child.

While I got about 7 hours of sleep straight last night, the night before I only got minimal sleep at a stretch the entire night. Partly because Max was up more frequently to eat and about 4 am decided that he was awake for the night. He was talking and cue’ing, not crying or fussy or anything. It was so cute. Partly because I had trouble falling back to sleep after feeding Max and when I did he was ready to be up, the dogs were up and down, Lucky had a tummy ache and her stomach was churning away, City Boy had a fur ball while on my bed, the dogs decided to chase City Boy from one side of the house to the other, etc. It was just one of those nights. They happen every now and again. But, this I really expected with having a child. Actually, on average, I am getting more sleep than I expected to get.

Money is a little tight. Not the day today money. I mean, I have money to pay the basic bills, get groceries, pay the nanny. But, I needed to have my side gate and the garage door rebuilt. I need to have the roof on my mom’s place redone. My sewage line probably needs to be replaced sooner rather than later (think it is blocked with roots, but don’t really want to call someone out cause I don’t want to hear what they will tell me). I want to try for a second child sooner rather than later. I need to have a few tree’s removed. Things like that. All of which will cost in the thousands each. It’s just the order and how quickly (or rather how long I can wait) they need to get done. Plus, I am thinking about splurging and buying myself a nice pair of diamond earrings for my 40th birthday. I have always wanted a pair and would like to give myself something special to remember the occasion (since if I don’t know one will with no hubby or boyfriend around). But, I am having trouble justifying the added expense when there are so many other things that the money should go towards.

Max really is such a good kid. Things have gone much better and more smoothly than I have thought. I’ve been getting comments when I talk about trying to have a second. Comments like, just wait until you have a second. Since Max is so good, the second will be a handful, a terror, royal pain, etc. It actually irritates the hell out of me. First off, I don’t take for granted that I will be able to have another. I think I have a decent shot, but it isn’t a sure thing. Second, I think some of the reason that it has gone so well is because of me. I mean, I do think the child’s personality has something to do with it, but I don’t think it is the only factor. Then, I think…what if I am wrong and they are right. In some ways, I can’t imagine another child being the dream that Max is. Maybe it is just him and his personality and nothing to do with me and my mommy style.

Anyway, life just seems a little too good to be true right now. As morbid as it probably sounds, I am so happy that Max wakes up everyday and is still a part of my life. I don’t take him being in it for granted. I still check to make sure he is still breathing on a regular basis. Just thinking about him and how much he has added to my life, I am getting teary eyed. Again, he is all I have hoped for and more.

Plus, I have a better group of friends and support system than I ever remember having in my life. The women I have met through the national Single Mom by Choice group are diverse and wonderful. It is like I have an instant connection and rapport with them. I am closer than some with others. Some are no longer single (okay, one). A few have put ttc on hold to focus on other things in there life. A few have had children. A few already had a child/ren. Sadly, a few are still struggling and still trying (and for them my heart breaks). With this group of women, I feel like I belong in away I never ever remember belonging to another group. If I would have had a child without finding this group and the women I have met through it (and I didn’t find the group until after I already started trying), my life would be so different and probably still good, but not as good as it is right now because of it.

Somewhere along the line I guess I have “learned” that life is hard and maybe I don’t really think I deserve to be as happy as I am, but I am, so I am waiting for someone or something to take it away. Just a thought nagging at my psyche.

Yes, life could be better. Yes, life could be worse. Yet, I can’t remember being as happy with the life I have now. God, I hope I don’t Jinx myself by saying that. It just all seems a bit too surreal and too good to be true.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Max in his Christmas PJ's.

This picture was taken about a week ago on January 10th. He is such a cutie!! I can't believe he will be 5 months old tomorrow. The time is going by so fast. He is almost no longer an infant, but a toddler. Yikes!!


Saturday was a big milestone. Max rolled over from back to front. Several times. At will. On purpose.

He did it the first time about 10 min. before the SMC Party while I was taking the Lasangna out of the oven. I didn’t see him do it, but just that he had done it.

He did it again after the party while I was going the bathroom and he was on the bathroom floor. Of course, he rolled onto the dog water bowl and my glass scale with sharp corners, but…details, details…he did it.

Then, of course, he did it after I put him in the crib and woke up fussy cause he was on his stomach and couldn’t get off, making me paranoid about suffocation. So, I have him back between the triangles to keep him from rolling over in his sleep.

He has rolled from front to back for awhile now, but not very often (especially after I put him on solids) and not really on purpose. In the last few days, he is getting better about going back and forth. It is very cute. He is very cute.

He is doing well since I have had him off solids for several days now. Thinking about starting him on formula either tomorrow or Wednesday. Starting small just 1 oz of formula mixed with 3 oz of breast milk once or twice a day and build up from there.

I may just be ready to wean next month after all. When Max was gassy and straining while on the prunes, he started chomping down on my nipple with his gums. He hasn’t stopped and it hurts. I mean, he stops when I yell “OWW, that hurts and take him off the boob” Then, he charms me into letting him suckle again and he is good for awhile until I am totally not expecting it. And, you guessed it. Chomp! Repeat. LOL. He is testing his limits and the action/reaction theory. I bite. Mamma yells. I tried to tell him it wasn’t funny. He wasn’t convinced.

The Christmas pictures are in. The Birth Announcements are in. I have done nothing with them and now stamps have gone up. One day soon. I really could have worked on it on Saturday and Sunday night because Max when to bed fairly early both days, but I relaxed instead. I needed the down time. It is a rare treat.

Work is still very busy and will be for the next few months.

I’ll have to post a nanny update one of these days, but things are going well.

The SMC Party on Saturday was fun. A big turnout. Four ladies with kids (including me), 6 kids (including Max), 2 women were 6 w pregnant, 3 women were in a 2ww with another joining them with a transfer on Sunday (1 of which has a 2 y.o. and is included in the 4 with kids count), 1 person who is trying to adopt, and 2 people who have been on an extended break and focusing on other things. Think that was it. Lots of fun and junk food.

Not the only one

Apparently, I am not the only one who thought that nursery rhymes were a tad morbid. My sister found this book the other day called “Positively Mother Goose”, by Diane Loomans, Karen Kolberg, and Julia Loomans. It is very funny.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary
Old Version –Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.

New Version – Mary, Mary, extraordinary,
How does your garden grow?
“Good thoughts are the power
That makes my mind flower;
Good deeds are the seeds that I sow.

Little Miss Muffit
Old Version -
Little Miss Muffit sat on a tuffet,
Eatng her curds and whey;
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her,
And scared Miss Muffit away.

New Version
Little Miss Muffit sat on a tuffet,
Eatng her curds and whey;
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her,
And brightened Miss Muffit’s whole day.

I could go on and on. The fork no longer runs away with the spoon. It is a bold woman (not an old woman) who lived in the shoe (and she knew just what to do). The bed bugs no longer bite. It is a big hug and a kiss good night. The bough no longer breaks and the cradle doesn’t fall. Instead, Birds and Squirrels will be at play.

I love it. It is my new favorite book. Very funny.

One that isn’t in the book that I made up awhile ago that my sister thought was funny was my version of BaBa Black Sheep.

Ba Ba Black Sheep have you any wool.
Yes sir, Yes sir, three bags full.
One for the mamma, two for the aunt, three for the little boy named Max.
Ba Ba Black Sheep have you any wool.
Yes sir, Yes sir, three bags full.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Family Roll Call

Max sleeping in crib.

Dogs walking with Naomi. (okay, back before I finished and Naomi now on way home for the weekend)

City Boy asleep in bed on desk a foot away from me.

Mommy on computer.

Company gone.

Had a busy, but very good week. Still very behind at work, but stayed focused enough to make some progress. Looking forward to SMC party tomorrow. Ready for the weekend.

Dogs and cat getting along much better than I expected. Cat is starting to rule the roost around here. Very funny to see/watch. Occasionally, when the dogs don’t think I am looking or if I am distracted with Max, they will try to gang up on City Boy who is too fast for them and quickly jumps out of reach and taunts them until I break it up.

Max is doing better and better every day since I had him off prunes. Actually, I talked to the nurse at his peds office and decided to pull him off all solids for awhile. Get him on formula. Then, try again with either Oat or Barley cereal. The rash on his face and neck is almost gone, but he woke up screaming last night from a nap. I shoved some Mylicon down his thought. It took about 10 – 15 min. to calm down. His poor tummy. This morning he had a fairly hard stool. I hope all of this gets out of his system soon. Naomi and I talked about it today and agreed that he seemed much better today than he has in a week. Poor little guy. I hope he is over the worst of it. The nurse at the peds office annoyed me a bit when she said “this is why we don’t recommend starting solids so early” I replied, in a much nicer fashion that I felt, that the Dr. and I had a nice long talk about starting him at Max’s 4 month appointment and that I didn’t make the decision to start him on it by myself. That shut her up.

In other sad news, looks like I am going to have to take a 3 day/2 night trip for work at the end of February or early March. The dates are still getting set. My sister said that she would watch Max. I thought about asking Naomi to stay and still may if my sister flakes, but do think it would be better to give Naomi a break and have Max see a different face. I get sad and teary eyed just thinking about it. Hey, I’m the momma that doesn’t even like to go 30 miles in a car away from him. It’s going to be very, very, very hard. And, no, it doesn’t make any sense to try to bring him with the nanny because I will be booked the entire time I am there…cocktails and dinner the night in; all day meeting and dinner the next night; meetings the third day and then fly home. Been there done that. Wow, just remembering back to the same trip last year when I was pregnant and got sick and ended up admitted to the hospital. The trip must have been much later in the year last year. Anyway….

I’m tired. With the company, our routine has been a bit off and I have gotten to bed late and up at the same time and Max has only wanted to sleep right next to me. Not the crib, not the co-sleeper, just momma’s bed. And, I have been to tired to fight it.

Haven’t given a nanny update in awhile, but things are going really well. We still have miscommunications every now and again, but all and complaints. I have vowed not to criticize any of her cleaning and only make corrections, if needed, where Max is concerned, but being a bit passive aggressive in regards to the pants folding. I have decided that I can’t live with them folded in thirds (too many wrinkles and harder to see and get off the shelf) so I have been refolding them. I was hoping she would take the hint. So bad.

Feeling thirsty so going to sign off, drink some water, and give my doggies some much needed love. They did great with an extra dog around all week. Plus, better than expected with City Boy. Time to reward them for good behavior.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


I have officially decided that I am not giving Max any more prunes. He has been so fussy, gassy, and not sleeping well since I started them. Thought about calling my peds office to tell them that, but decided I am not going to. The cure is worse than the problem. I hope. Maybe I should research any long term problems from infrequent bowels in infants. All I know is that he may have only been going every 7 – 10 days, but he was happy. Now, he is fussy and strains to pass gas, etc. He cried on and off all morning. It was very, very sad. Showed Naomi some tricks on helping free the gas. He seems to be a bit better this afternoon (but still no BM since Sunday in spite of the prunes).

Got very little sleep last night. Max wanted to eat every 2 – 3 hours. And, he only wanted to sleep right next to me. He had one night of eating every 2 – 3 hours a week or so ago, but I was on vacation. He had another night where he just wanted to sleep next to me, but I was on vacation. Last night, he wanted both and I was NOT on vacation.

In other news, I may be inheriting the cat of my friend that just got married. Both she and her husband are allergic. She dealt with it for herself, but they can’t live together with City Boy because of severe allergies. The only problem is that my dogs, especially Shadow, like to chase and torment cats.

City Boy came last night. All and all, it is going well. Of course, I locked the dogs I in the room with Max and I for the night and gave City Boy the run of the house to get familiar with it. Found out this morning that Lucky is afraid of City Boy. Shadow will leave him be most of the time, but the two ganged up on him once this morning. City Boy came out fighting. Lucky slowly backed out of the room (like…I’m ssssorrry. Just kidding….). Shadow didn’t back off, but didn’t attack either. It was a Mexican stand off until I shoo’d the dogs away. Then, everyone went to their own quarters to nap the day away. LOL.

Getting a really diverse family these days.

I am expecting a friend any minute (a person I met through the SMC-ttc list over a year ago) from the Bay Area. She is bringing her dog (who has a spinal cord injury). And, they are going to stay a few days. She is going to a function for her cousin on Wednesday night while I dog sit.

Should be a real zoo around here.

Plus work is busy.

Plus hosting an SMC meeting on Saturday.

Lots of activity going and not very much sleep.


I will likely not get much non-work computer time in this week if any. Just picture a crazy, full house with lots going on.

I wish I had more computer time, but not as much as I am wishing for more sleep at this very moment.

Eyes blurry. Can’t think. Not sure I am making any sense. Prunes – NO. Cat – Maybe. Sleep – Yes, please.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Another Nap

Tonight is probably going to be scary because I had another nap today. A nice, deep, long one. Last night, I didn’t fall asleep until around mid-night and that was when I thought I was just “resting”. Max is still asleep in my bed. Oh well, I guess I will self regulate tomorrow when I have to get up early for work.

I should be doing something productive like…let’s say….pay bills, since today is already the 8th and I haven’t yet gotten my mortgage payment in the mail.

More starting solids pain in our household today.

I have a very good friend who is a pediatrician. In fact, thinking about it, she has probably become my closest friend in the last year. She was present for Max’s birth and is one of his god mothers. We talk pretty much every day and see each other a few times a month. We met through the SMC-ttc list maybe a year and a half ago. I try not to take advantage of the fact she is a pediatrician. Plus, it has been hard for her at times when I was pregnant with Max and she was still struggling to ttc and had a miscarriage. On the other hand, since she is such a close friend, it is hard not to talk about Max and what I worried about.

We were talking last night while she was driving to Vegas to get married. Yep, she eloped. I am so happy for her. Talked to her this morning and she is no longer an SMC. She and Mark haven’t been dating for long by some standards, but I think they have talked and worked through enough stuff that they know what they are getting into and are fundamentally good for each other. They balance each other out well.

Anyway, I was tell her that I found the prunes at Target and started Max on them last night. I told her that he seemed to like them. She asked if he ate the whole jar. I said, eat the whole jar? I only gave him a table spoon mixed with his cereal. She said, he needs the whole jar for it to work the way it is supposed to. I said, a whole jar each time I feed him? She said, no a whole jar once a day. Apparently, I can do this either with the rice cereal or in replacement of the rice cereal. She asked me why I thought I should only do a table spoon. I said because the rice cereal box said to start with a table spoon and work up so I thought that applied to all foods when you start them out. She said, oh, I better be more specific when I talk to my patients. LOL. She has said this many of time after hearing about why I did something the way I did or thought something the way I did. I remember being on the phone with her when Max was just born and crying and we were talking about how I had such a hard time with that. I started balling and said, because if I let him cry I will damage his self esteem. She calmly asked me why I thought that and I told her I read it in both the What to Expect book and in the Caring for your child from birth to 5 book. She said went and got her books (she has both of them) and asked me to point out to her exactly where I read that. In doing so, she pointed out what the book really said, not how I interpreted it, and all of the other things on the topic that I hadn’t read. In re-reading it with her, I realized that I had missed a few key points like there will be times when your child will cry and you will not be able to calm them and that this is normal. I missed that part. She said that is for people who let their child cry for hours and gave examples. I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was seriously traumatized. That was another time that she said she better remember to be clearer when talking to her patients, especially if they are as neurotic (my word not hers) as me. LOL.

Anyway, I have seriously digressed. So, when I fed Max this morning, I gave him a table spoon of cereal mixed with breast milk and about half the serving of prunes (saving the other half for tonight). Other than being messy (I am now soaking his white Christmas PJ’s, the bib, and the washcloth I used to wipe him up), it went fine and he enjoyed his meal. About 20 minutes after finishing, he kept getting progressively fussier and fussier. He was gassy and straining and crying one minute and laughing and happy the next and fussy and straining and crying the next until it reached it crescendo a few hours later. I ended up taking him to my bed and undressing him and giving him a body massage. Finally, I ended up trying to feed him again and we both fell asleep. He is still naked (except for a diaper) sleeping on my bed. This is a long nap for him.

Needless to day, I’m not sure I am giving him the rest of the prunes tonight. This may be a case where the solution is worse than the problem. He may be pooping only every 7 – 10 days, but he is happy and content. I could care less if he becomes more regular if he is in such pain. More conversations will be had around this. I’ll probably call my peds office back tomorrow and talk to them about it and mention it to my friend next time we talk.

Max woke up so I got to go. Just one last thought, not worrying about giving him the pea’ since the amount I gave him is relatively small compared to what I should have been giving him if you consider it was a table spoon offered and subtracted out what actually made it down. Hopefully, my happy baby is back.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I had a nap

I had a nap today, which is why I am wide awake and not even close to tired at 9:30 in the evening. The funny thing is that at the time, I didn’t really think I slept. Just rested. Until I saw that there was a phone message left during the time I was “resting” and I never heard the phone. LOL.

Max slept 6.5 hours in his crib last night. Just to set the record straight, there is a converse relationship. The longer he sleeps in his crib, the less I sleep. Because I must get up and check the monitor a few times to make sure it is on and working. I must get up and walk across the other side of the house a few times to peek into the crib and make sure he is still there and still breathing. I have forbidden myself from going and getting him if he hasn’t woken up. I’m giving myself tough love. By 3 am last night, I just turned on the light and read a bit of the current book I am reading. Can’t remember the exact title at the moment. Something like…The curious incident of the murdered dog. Actually a pretty good book so far, but different. I have found that on the nights that read it before bed, I sleep a bit worse. I’m like that with books. Anything, really. I need to be careful with what I do before bed (read, watch TV, etc.). It creeps into my subconscious, my psyche. So, while it is good that Max is making such a good adjustment. His momma is having a harder time with it. Until further notice, when I say that Max slept in his crib four hours, know that I had a halfway decent night sleep. If I say he slept 6-8 hours in his crib (although 7 hours is the longest so far), know that it was probably pretty crappy.

Max actually fell asleep early. Around 7 pm. Then woke up about 45 min. later. Had a snack…or soothed himself…and fell back to sleep around 8. This always makes me a bit nervous, especially since I didn’t go to bed after him. Typically, I am asleep within an hour after he is and he is awake about 20 – 30 min. after I get up. On the other hand, it was nice to have some time to straighten up a bit.

The house was pretty much spotless when Naomi left on Friday. I managed to make a huge mess from last night to tonight and I wasn’t even home much. But, I got this in the mail. Which meant the manufacturing box and the shipping box, plus the bumbo seat itself, not to mention the instruction sheet/paperwork that came with it were sitting on the kitchen table and counter. Then, I had the new high chair which had to be taken apart and cleaned with all the various parts on the kitchen table or the counter. Then, I went to target and got diapers, and prunes, and dog treats, etc. which were all sitting on the counter. And, I had Shadows meds refilled today, so they were piled on the counter. Plus, all the dishes from yesterday including Max’s cereal that didn’t get eaten last night because the nice firm spoon was better. All of this was piled high on the counter and thrown about. It is picked up now. Much better.

I was thinking last night about bad habits. This was before 3 am, when I decided to read. I’m trying to break me of the habit of sleeping with Max in my room. I think I disturb him too much when I am restless and having a bad sleep night. Plus, he is going to outgrow the co-sleeper anytime. Although, I realized last night that I could take that down and put the pack-n-play in its place. Max does sleep in my bed occasionally. We napped together today. If he wakes up after 4:30 – 5 ish and I am really tired and not ready to get up yet, I will usually feed him lying down and we will both doze back off until time to get up. But, I worry about him suffocating. My bed is high so I worry about him falling off when he starts rolling over at will. I tend to sleep in a more awkward position causing me more back/shoulder problems. But, most of all, I disturb him to much if I am in and out of bed or turn on the light to read or turn on the tv.

The other bad habit I was thinking about last night was how often Max falls asleep on the boob. It is often. Not 100%, but probably better than 60%. The problem is that he likes it and I like it. Weaning him next month is going to be hell. I’m not sure I’m up for it. I’m putting all the steps in place for it to happen if either of us looks ready. Okay, not all the steps, because I could be doing things now…like NOT letting him fall asleep on the boob or use it to sooth so often, but I can’t. It will feel like I am trying to wean him now. So, I decided I am not going to even worry about it until next month. If I decided to do it, it will be cold turkey so to speak. It will be rough, but no going back. Because I have decided that, I am not sure I can do it. We will see when the time comes. Short term turmoil for me and for Max versus ttc again knowing that the longer I wait the harder and the odds of me conceiving again go down. And, I would really like another. Tough call.

Max ate like a champ today. After the initial shock to his taste bud (he gets this confused, what’s this expression every time he gets a new flavor), he ate all his cereal/prune mixture. I did a somewhat no-no calculated risk. I started him on peas 2 days ago and I started him on prunes today. Your supposed to wait 3 – 5 days before introducing anything new, but I didn’t know about the whole prune deal until after I had already started the peas. So, I am going to stop the peas for a week and just stick with the prunes and cereal. Then, re-introduce peas next week. Unless, of course, he has a bad reaction. Then, I will regret my decision.

Well, I am still wide awake, but think I am going to sign-off to take a warm bath and read a bit.

Wait….Speaking of warm baths…I took Max in the shower for the first time this morning. After feeding him, he was a mess and I still needed to shower so I got the shower the right temperature and laid him on the floor of the tub while I washed. Then, I washed him. Went pretty well. Better than I expected in fact. He looked a little startled, but didn’t fuss or anything. And, Dr. Dan, my chiropractor fell down the stairs a few weeks ago and needed surgery. He is out of commission for awhile. Poor thing. I really need to get in for an adjustment. The adjustments really do help me. I can tell when I haven’t been in for awhile, especially after being back to work last week and the stress involved, not to mention carrying Max around for several hours a day hiking/walking with the dogs and around the house. But, I will have to stick with warm baths and be better about stretching unless it gets really bad, cause I am to lazy to try to find someone new and it just wouldn’t be the same.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Lost Control and Gave Up…and, much more…

It has been a really busy week back at work. Everything seemed to take 5 times longer than it should. Something that I planned to get done on Monday and should have taken 30 minutes, didn’t get completed until today after encountering one problem and delay after another. That’s just the kind of week I have had.

It was so busy that I didn’t get around to calling the peds office back until yesterday afternoon. I started Max on solids and one of the things to watch for is rashes and welts. I’m too tired to go into the long version of the story, but I was to make some changes and watch him and let them know either way. Well, he was still getting the rashes and welts, but they would come and go and I decided that it really wasn’t a problem, hence the delayed call back. When I spoke to the nurse, she wanted to schedule an appointment. I said, are you serious? She said, let me talk to the doc and get back to you. So, I get a call back today saying that Dr. H wanted to see Max and check it out and that they had a noon opening, can I make it. Just as I thought, Max is fine and the rash and welts are not allergy related. I forget the name he rattled off, but it is very common in infants. As I told the doc, Max had them when he was just born and he could have been having them all along, but it got colder here and Max has been in long pants and long sleeves most of the time. But, since I was supposed to be watching for an allergic reaction, I just started noticing them again. Max’s comes and goes, only stays for a short period of time, and is all over. Apparently, if it is a food allergy type rash, it stays for a few days and gets really dry. Good to know. If it is an overheated type of rash, that can be common this time of year (according to Dr. H, of course), it would be a rash with small red dots on it. Again, good to know. Most little ones have out grown this type of rash by now, but not my Max. Dr. H said he will outgrow it, but that he just has fair sensitive skin and it may take a bit longer, but it isn't serious.

All that aside, I’m supposed to start Max on Baby Prunes (or Baby Pears if he refuses the Prunes) and/or ½ once of prune juice mixed with ½ of water once a day to get things flowing a bit more frequently for my little guy. Dr. H didn’t like hearing that Max’s last little poo poo present for me had been 11 days apart. He beat his past record of 10 days, which occurred while traveling this Thanksgiving. I guess this isn’t a good trend.

Anyway, Max was really teething today. He wanted to suck and chew on everything and anything he could get into his mouth. In fact, he just woke up crying and rubbing his gums and I am nursing him while I try to finish this. I went over to a friend’s house tonight that I hadn’t seen since well before Christmas to exchange gifts and we got back late. I tried to feed Max his cereal and peas. He just wanted to chew on the spoon. I couldn’t get it away from him. I lost control. He was just going to town gnawing on it. I had to laugh. It was so cute. I gave up. I played with him on the floor until he was hungry. Feed him and he fell asleep in my arms. They say at this age, they are just getting used to the experience. Rather than battle it, I let it go. I just didn’t have the energy to either fight it or make if a fun enjoyable experience.

An extra bonus was that I got a free highchair today. The friend I visited has twins that are 2. She recently moved them out of the highchairs and are now sitting at a small table and chair for meals. She asked me if I wanted one of them. It was a win/win. She got more of her garage back and I am spared more expense. SCORE!

BTW, if anyone knows where you can actually find baby prunes or baby prune juice, let me know. I have looked at two stores now and came home empty handed.

Max is back asleep on my lap and I am straining my shoulder and neck muscles trying to type over him so I am going to put him down for round 2 tonight and see how it goes. He has been sleeping the first part of the night in his crib. Sometimes that is 40 minutes. Last night it was for 7 hours. If I am still awake, I settle him back in his crib. If I was asleep or almost asleep, I bring him back to my room and put him in the co-sleeper.


Monday, January 02, 2006

It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

Yet another Nursery Rhyme/Song that seems a bit…negative?...shall we say, now that I am singing it to Max. Funny that it never occured to me when I was young.

It’s raining. It’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He went to bed and bumped his head and didn’t get up in the morning.

So, What? The guy dies?

Maybe it is just me, but the only rhymes/songs that I remember are morbid.

Needless to say, we are having some “weather” out my way.

Took Max out in it this morning. He laughed and talked the entire time. For those nay sayers who give me a hard time for taking him out in the rain, I say I would be depriving him of a valuable life experience. If he fussed or cried, it would be one thing. He is happy to be out and looking around, regardless of the weather.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year

Since I am sitting down at the computer, it is a sure sign that Max should wake up any minute. Or, the phone will ring. Or, someone will stop over. LOL. Wow, where has my vacation gone? It has been fun and busy. Before Max, I never thought I would say this, but I would love to be a stay at home mom. Yes, still on that kick even though I know it is totally fantasy land.

There were tons of milestones since I last posted.

Max had his 4 month appointment and shots. I was surprised that his reaction to the shots was much worse this time. He fell asleep in my arms around 7:30. When I went to put him in the co-sleeper, he screamed and screamed and screamed. It was like I had put him on a bed of hot coals. It took about 45 minutes before I was able to get him calmed down. Then, I went to put him down and we started round 2. It was a long night that had us both in tears at one point and had me seriously concerned that something major was wrong.

I read two books. Neither one was great literature or even that great of story lines, but it was nice to get back to one of my most treasured (pre-Max) past times. I read most of the first one while rocking Max and cuddling with him after his 4 month shots. I also made it out to the movies one day (saw the new Harry Potter one).

Max slept for 7 hours one night in his crib. I didn’t get much sleep that night since I was worried that the monitor wouldn’t work (hard to test when it is just you) and kept getting up and checking on him. The next night, I put him back in the co-sleeper so “I” could get more sleep. Then, I started him on rice cereal and wanted to make sure he didn’t have a bad reaction. And, he started waking up more frequently again to eat. It culminated last Wednesday night when he woke up every 2 ½ - 3 hours to eat. It was like he was a new born again. Must have been a growth spurt. His eating and sleeping has stabilized again.

Yep, started Max on solids. It was one of the things I talked to the ped about during our 4 month visit. Current plan is get Max on solids, get him sleeping in the crib, then wean. He loved it. At first he looked confused and rolled the cereal around his mouth, then seemed to figure it out. He seemed to eat at least half of it and it wasn’t nearly as messy as I thought it would be. I noticed he developed some red welts on his leg afterwards, but thought it may just be a coincidence. The next day, he ate even better and I think he got most of it down, but he it wasn’t a coincidence and he broke out with welts again and a rash. I talked to the peds office and they recommended I wait a day or two and try again with breast milk mixed with the rice cereal instead of formula. The instructions say you can mix with breast milk, formula, or water. In talking with a friend, the biggest difference is calories. Since Max is so lean I figured I would start with the formula to get him used to the taste and it has the added calories. Apparently, this wasn’t the best decision since it was the equivalent to introducing 2 things at once instead of one thing. When I tried breast milk mixed in (try 3), he didn’t have a reaction like before, but it wasn’t a good test since I don’t think he actually ate any of it. It was quite humorous and ended up all over his face, his arms, his legs, and the bouncy seat. You get the idea, pretty much everyplace other than in his mouth. He was having a good ole time, but didn’t actually eat any of it that I could tell. I tried again tonight and must have had the timing a bit better since he ended up eating more than smearing, although he was a mess from head to toe again. Very funny. He does seem to like it.

Max has rolled over a few times. He didn’t do it on purpose and can’t repeat on command yet. In fact, the last few times I have put him on tummy time he has gotten quite pissed like he knows he has gotten out of this before but can’t figure it out. I’ve tried showing him and he’s happy to be on his back, but can’t figure out how to do it himself again. His expression when he did flip himself was so don’t know how that happened and this is great. Once he does figure it out, there will be no keeping him in tummy time, but by then I figure he will have the muscle development he needs so it won’t matter.

I could write tons more, but think I am going to start to wind down myself and get to bed early since tomorrow it is back to early mornings and work and I have a sore throat (and not feeling that great today) and am hoping I can avoid getting that nasty cold that is going around here. I have been slacking off and getting up later and later the longer I was off work. Sigh. Back to work tomorrow. You would think I hate my job (which I don’t). It was just so nice to have some time for me, some time for Max, some time for friends and family. It was a good balanced time.

One last thought…when Max was born and I had no computer time, I really missed it. I craved it. It was very hard. This time, I thought about it and what I would blog about if I had the time. I actually started a few blogs and got interrupted early in the writing and never got back to them, but I didn’t miss it the way I did after he was born. Since it is my nature to psychoanalyze everything, I find that interesting. The best theory that I can come up with is that I felt less need for the outlet in written form.

Okay, off to bed. Tomorrow is another day. A day I would much rather NOT have to work. Okay, Okay, I’ll stop whining and complaining. It is what it is. I just has such a nice time away. It was a good break.