Friday, January 25, 2008

Overwhelmed

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by life right now.

I had Max say his last goodbye's and took Shadow to the vet this morning bawling my eyes out and planning on putting her to sleep. My normal, long time vet, is out of the office and has someone covering for her. She thinks that Shadow has a vestibular attack kind of like a stroke. She said most dogs recover within a few days and recommend I try to wait it out. I'm feeling very conflicted. Shadow has been at the vets office for observation and I found out the IV'd and put in a cathrador. I'm afraid to see what the bill is since no one mentioned cost or asked about the extra procedures. Shadow is old. I don't want to kill her off needlessly, but I don't/didn't want to go to heroic efforts to save her either. My normal vet knows this. I also explained to the covering vet that Shadow is heavy and I'm pregnant and I won't have support over the weekend with help. But, I think I'm going to be home with a dog that can't walk and having to move her from room to room and can't go outside to go to the bathroom by herself. I'm feeling so conflicted on this right now.

I get back and find that the announcement about our organization changes just went out today instead of the middle to end of next week like I had been told/was expecting so had to deal with calls and emails and instant messages all day from my employees telling me how disappointed they are and wanting to make sure it was my choice, etc.

I'm feeling emotionally wiped out, completely tense and drained, my afternoon nausea is kicking in and I'm going to have to go out in the rain with a toddler to go pick up my dog who can't walk.

2 comments:

Aimee said...

Deb- I'm so sorry to hear your pooch is not doing well. :( I hope nothing is seriously wrong with her and has some more time on her plate. I will keep Shawdow in my thoughts & prayers. Feel better soon.

Laura in L.A. said...

Oh, Debbie, I am so sorry. I am praying that the fill-in vet is right about Shadow, and she will rebound quickly. Having to make these kinds of decisions about your old but very beloved dog is the worst. It's so hard.

Why is everything coming down on your head right now?!?! I am praying for peace for you, and recovery for Shadow.

Love, Laura