Monday, November 19, 2007

The Minutia of Life and Cycle Hormones

I know this may seem odd, but sometimes this whole donor egg cycling thing seems a bit surreal. I'll be going along my business and the thought "Holy Crap, I'm doing a DE cycle and it may actually work this time" surfaces. I mean, I know I'm doing a cycle. I've had tasks and action items and been executing the plan for months, but sometimes the reality hits. And, what it does, I feel joy and happiness and hope. Because, maybe, just maybe, it may work this time.

Today was the opposite of last week -- scheduled. Max and I made up missing all of his classes last week with a 9:15 am make up gym class, an 11 am music class (normally, he goes to the 10 am class, but I was able to push it back so we could also do the gym class), and his 4:30 pm swimming lesson. It was a lot, but not overwhelming or too much. I think he was glad to get out of the house actually now that he is feeling better and to have me go with him for a change.

All of a sudden today, I've gotten "hormonal" and emotional.

I really had to hold myself back during Max's gym class. He was climbing this structure with such confidence and ease while talking to me about something. It was just a big whammy about how blessed I am that he is in my life, what a really, really great kid he is, and how much and fast he is growing. It was like a flash back to the first gym class I took him where I had to hover and be right there to catch him when he stumbled. It was an amazing moment, probably underscored because I don't get to go and see his progress each week.

There were a few other times that I got all tear eyed like listening to a song called Watching You by Trace Adkins (?) as I identified with the man whose son watches and wants to be 'just like him', cause Max is the same way. It is such an awesome and humbling responsibility.

Switching gears, I've gotten Max a bunch of new books for Christmas. I think I may try to get four more to make it an even 12 and give him one each day for the twelve days of Christmas leading up to the actual day. I know I was worried back not to long ago that he didn't seem that into books. All of a sudden, he is and seems to get it and want the longer stories. It is so cool. He's been into Dr. Seuss One Fish Two Fish and Green Eggs and Ham this week. He hasn't wanted any songs before bed. "Book, mommy. Read book" and he'll tell me which one he wants. He's been really only picking one per night and wanting it read 2, 3, 4 (and more, really as long as I am willing and until I put my foot down that it is time). Several of the books I ordered came in the mail today including one called, "The Night Before Thanksgiving" which I gave to him and ended up reading at least 3 times. It's a cute book and Max had me smiling when he called it the eating book. "Read, eating book, mommy. Eating book."

I'm tired. I'm spent. I'm done with home improvement projects for the foreseeable future, except for cutting and attaching the cork to the pantry door. I did another polyurethane coat tonight and I had to dig into reserves to do it and finish it. They could probably use another coat or two, but I don't have it in me. I'm too tired and was getting too sloppy. So, I'm done. I've cleaned up. Put all the supplies back in the garage. Done. Finished. No more. You can't make me.

Before I could tackle the cabinets tonight, I really needed to get a few pieces of meat marinating for later in the week. Max got to bed late. Rather, Max got to bed on time and then got up several times. "Fresh Diaper, Mommy. Fresh Diaper", even after I explained I had just put that one on him and it really was already pretty wet. Then, he had farts and wanted to go "Poo Poo on Potty Mommy." So, out of the crib, out of his diaper and PJ's to sit on the toilet. Ultimately, a false alarm (just gas), but he'll probably end up waking up early with a BM. He's got the pee thing down as long as he doesn't have a diaper on, but is still trying to figure out the whole BM vs. gas/fart thing. He still hasn't ever poo'd on the toilet so I would have been happy and impressed if he had. He has gone outside on the grass a few times "like the doggies". :) He's starting to get it.

Okay, enough. I'm tired and rambling at this point about the minutia of life.

Stage 2 of my vacation starts tomorrow. 1) my cousin comes 2) my baseline u/s appointment should give me the go ahead to add in meds as I move into the next stage of the cycle.

I'm glad I've gotten everything done I have this week. And, I'm glad I have nothing more than just the basics planned for the rest of my vacation.

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