Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Same ole

Nothing really going here. Just doing mundane things like filling out paperwork for Max's preschool, faxing in my pre-registration for the hospital I plan to deliver in, getting ready for visits from my Aunt tomorrow and my sister and her crew (the one from NJ) over the weekend, getting contingency plans in place just in case things go south fast for this preg. and I end up in the hospital, and work has been keeping my busy, busy, busy.

However, I've been thinking about just how HARD life can be sometimes. One of my longest and closest friends in the area just found out that her 4 year old daughter has Type 1 Diabetes. She has just had to deal with one bad thing after another the last few years include cancer and loosing two children during PRL. In our brief talk today when she sounded so sad and tired and overwhelmed, she made a comment that maybe there is no good or bad anymore, just the next thing to deal with. To make it worse, they just moved 2 weeks ago and she hasn't even gotten out of boxes or gotten settle yet. I have another good friend going through a nasty divorce with complications and worries that it will affect her foster situation on top of all the other worries. And, yet another friend who cycled at the same time I did with Max on the same protocol where she hyper stimmed and got OHSS so bad she had to be hospitalized and I was canceled for poor response. She finally got her arms around cycling again, this time with only mild OHSS, and got her very first positive pregnancy only to find out it wasn't viable. The D&C was a week ago. Her RE is not recommending further treatment since she reacts so badly to the meds. Another friend who desperately wants a sib for her child and been t42 almost as long as I have to expand our families who has run out of sperm and not been able to get more. Another friend who cycled and got pregnant when I did with the twins and lost that pregnancy, having to deal with a few other issues before she can try again. She started trying for #1 before I started trying for Max Another friend that has done countless IVF's, finally made a big decision to move to surrogate, had a bad cycle, with a negative outcome and doesn't know what, if anything to do next, when she still doesn't have a baby in her arms. These are just a few people I know IRL that are all struggling or having to deal with disappointments and heart ache. There are more with varying degrees of emotional roller coasters they are trying to go through. Sometimes, it can all just seem so bleak and hard and overwhelming. No point really in getting into all this other than to wish I could just take away all the pain and the hurt and just make things a little easier all the way around for all these woman. And, yet, it makes me proud to be a woman because they are so resilient and strong and just keep on getting on and find the joy where they can and can still laugh and be happy for others or lend a hand to someone else in spite of their own hardships.

And, so life goes on...same ole same ole with the mundane along with the big stuff like worrying my pregnancy will end badly, or finding out your daughter will need to take shots for the rest of her life, or loosing a pregnancy, or the loss of a dream, still trying to fill a dream, or the end of a marriage, or whatever other big thing that needs to be addressed.


Laura in L.A. said...

Oh, Deb. :):):) Thanks for your good thoughts. It means so much coming from you, because I know that you "get it." Your relentless optimism is inspiring, too. Helps me keep going.

Love, Laura

Cindy said...

Wow, lots of sadness going on. :( I am sorry for everyone...including the future divorcee....me. Well, life trudges on.

Hey, the babies need a ticker too! :)