Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Week 1

Today was a roller coaster of a day, just like it has been a roller coaster of a week. The lows have been low and the highs have been week. Lots of stuff deserve a mention, but I'll have to save most for another day. I'm just too darn tired.

The lowest low: Max started his new preschool today. It is a summer program where the kids go two days a week for 2 hours. I had thought we would miss today because of Max's LAUSD assessment, but it ended early so I headed over to the pre-school. I got there just as they had joined the mom's into circle time for introductions, where I started crying as one of the things they wanted you to mention was other siblings, but all understandable and another mom that I have seen in church came up after to talk and give her support and tell about how one of her twins died in utero after PTL because they didn't believe her for a week. Anyway, I digress. Max LOVED, LOVED, LOVED preschool. I thought he would. So, where's low? When it was time to clean up, he just lost it. I have actually never seen him cry so hard in public, let alone at home. He kept saying he didn't want to go and he wanted to come back and no matter how many times I told he got to come back, it didn't help. He was inconsolable. I just hugged him and hugged him and we both cried. It really broke my heart. He's been such a trooper, but the stress is starting to get to us both.

The highest high: Because we went to the preschool , I got home later than planned and still needed to bump (it had been 4 hours by then) and eat (running low on food) and get out of the house to catch a good friend who was visiting the babes this morning before she had to leave (Didn't happen. Sorry C, thanks so much, can't tell you how much it means for you to take time out of your busy, hectic life right now) and to get there before another friend who wouldn't be able to get in without me. I was so tired and stressed and Max was fighting with me while I was trying to pump by trying to pull off the pump and I didn't want to go and just wanted to nap and was trying to figure out when I was going to get some down time which is like never. I was crying and figuring I'd just spend the time bawling over the incubators. I got a hold of the friend I was supposed to meet and ended up picking her up instead of meeting her. She was like my little angel today (Thanks A! Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!) Just having someone else there made all the difference in the world. But, that's not my highest high. Look below. I got to hold Ray today for the first time. I couldn't believe it when the nurse offered. I was so happy I was there. That no matter how tired I was, that I made the effort. I can keep doing this. It was the boost I needed.

Ray - Week 1 - First Time Being Held By Momma

Nora - Week 1 - Holding her own. Momma can't wait to hold you too!

ps. Please notice the smile instead of the crooked bangs that I cut within hours of being home from the hospital that I haven't had time to fix. :)


Cindy said...

No problem! I like visiting with them. I am going to be looking forward to my Wednesday visits! Hopefully, I will see you next week.

Glad you got to hold at least one of the babies today!

Sorry that Max had such a hard time leaving preschool. :( It will get better though when he gets used to the fact that he gets to come back.

Aimee & Hannah said...

Aw....what a precious picture of you & your beautiful baby boy! Hopefully, you'll be able to hold your other little sweetie soon. You're doing a terrific job providing milk for them! ;o) You're a wonderful momma!!!