Monday, June 16, 2008

This morning seems so long ago

Today has felt like such a long day that this morning seem so long ago it almost seems like a different day. Not long in bad as much as in long in back to back with no time to sit and stare into space or even get on the computer (oh, the horrors...based on my current and predicted schedule, my computer time is going to be limited so don't freak if I don't get an update in...this is my therapy and place to process things so I can move past them so if anything major happens, I'll post)
1) First me - Had staples removed today. Incision is healing fine. Go back next week to check and remove the "tape". Physically, I'm healing just fine. Took Tylenol first thing this morning (like 5 am?) and then again just before my OB visit. This morning was still very emotional and I broke down when Noemi came and was asking after me and the babies and I was showing her the pictures. I'd be fine for awhile and then in 2.5 seconds I could be back in tears because of something I thought or something someone said. I didn't get to spend as much time in the NICU as I would have liked because traffic was bad (three lanes closed due to a truck fire) and the OB appointment, but the time I did spend there was pretty much tear free and actually kind of peaceful as I went back and forth to visit with both babies. I had a chance for a short nap after the NICU visit while Max was at swimming lessons and it really made all the difference. No tears and meltdowns all evening. I needed a break from the drama and pretty much avoided any situation that had the potential to upset me. I also had (well, not quite an epiphany) what I'll call an "ah ha" moment in realizing that all new mom's have the tears and mood swings, but most have the luxury of doing so in the privacy of their home only around family and friends . Since I have to be out and about at a time when no new mom should, my emotions are on display to the general public I must encounter.

2) Max is doing fine. He woke up early while I was in the middle of pumping. He handled the first part well, but started to loose it (trying to touching all the buttons, turn off the pump, pull the breast shields and/or tubes off) towards the end. Then we got up, had an early breakfast and walked his babies around the block with Shadow. I was ready to lie down by then and he climbed on the bed and we cuddled while he watched TV and I dozed and it was just what we both needed. Tonight, it was just us for dinner and normal play. He was a tad whinnier/demanding than normal, but really not bad especially considering he is fighting a cold/cough and this is the first night in almost a week that it has just been him and I doing our normal stuff.

3) The babies are doing fine. Nora continues to be a typical 29 weeker with typical 29 week issues. They stopped her feeding because of some browning discharge that the doc (need a short abbreviation to use for a neonatogist) thought may have been some old blood that she swallowed during birth. They no longer hear a heart murmur so hopefully that PDA issue has closed off. If so this should improve her breathing. She's still on oxygen. Basically, she's holding her own and not doing bad, but hasn't really moved ahead yet either. Ray is like the super star 29 weeker and doing really well. The doc said that if he ever had a child that was a 29 weeker, he'd want him to be just like Ray. They have increased his feeding to 5 cc's every 3 hours. The way I calculate it, about 40 cc's a day. I'm able to keep ahead of the milk curve and am getting an average, about 40 cc's with one pump session. I decided I'm going to enter the milk production data into an excel sheet so I can chart it and analyze the data, just because I like to do that kind of thing and it keeps me motivated and competive with myself. Hey, pumping is a drag, but oh so necessary so I need something to spice it up. So, look forward to day over day percent increase in volume, total volume produced, and other such statistics for the nerd in me.

Speaking of milk production, time for the 11 pm pump session I really wanted to get in before some much needed sleep. I wasn't sure I was going to make it.


Anonymous said...

Hugs Deb...thinking of you and your THREE kids!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oops...previous comment was me...HeidN AKA Jenny777.

Anonymous said...

Hey Deb, just Jo here checking in on you to let you know I'm thinking of you, Max, Nora and Ray. I can so totally appreciate the Excel spreadsheet! Sounds like something I would do. :)

Hang in there, kiddo.