Palm Reading, Is there any truth to it?

Have I mentioned that I think I am a sleep camel? I seem to occasionally store up on sleep than get less for some time after that. I had my two naps on Thursday after a full 8 hours of sleep Wednesday night. Thursday night I think I only slept around 6 hours and looks like that is all I will be getting for Friday night as well. Oh well, good thing I am used to not sleeping well and function well on only 6 or 7 hours of sleep.

While I was lying there trying to determine if I would be able to doze back off or if I should just get up, I started thinking about Palm Reading. I am not sure how much I believe in it, but have had enough interest in the past that I have several books on the subject. I have had my palms read three times that I remember. The first was when I was on a cruise and our waiter “read” my palm one night. The second, I was at some sort of carnival or street faire or something. The third was when I saw the supposed psychic that my sister knew and insisted that I see. This is not counting me and a friend reading through my palm reading books and doing “self” readings. In every reading, I was told that I would have 3 children. I had forgotten the whole thing and hadn’t thought of this for years and certainly not since I started trying to conceive. Since I started this ttc effort, I had always hoped for 2 children. Ideally, this would not be twins, but at this point, I will take what I can get.

As I lay there, I started wondering more about how this works. What counts? Does my early m/c of this summer count since it was a confirmed pregnancy? If in fact, I really did conceive on my first IUI even though it wasn’t confirmed, does that count? If I lose this one, is that like a three strikes rule and that would be my third and I am now out of the game?

I am not sure how my sister (Julie) feels about palm reading and whether she believes in it, but I do know that she believes that some people are psychic and has seen several over the years. In fact, one of her good friends is a psychic and she has consulted with her on more than one occasion. My sister Julie had two daughters when she was young and just out of high school. In many of the consults that she had, when she asked whether she would have another child, she was told that she would conceive a son. When she tried to press for more information, she was never given any.

I guess it is about 10 years ago now; she met a wonderful man and re-married. About 6 years ago, they decided to try to have a child together and she conceived a son. When she entered her seventh month, she found out that the baby (they named him Brian) had a severe heart problem and he had only developed one heart chamber. This defect was also causing his lungs to under develop and other issues. She was told that if she didn’t miscarry before delivery, Brian would have less than a one percent chance of living through the delivery and even if he did he would need at least 3 major surgery his first year with high risk for each one with little chance of him surviving to the next phase. And, even if he survived through that, he would be a special needs child that would never live a normal life. She and her husband made one of the most difficult decisions of their life and decided to terminate at her doctors recommendation (and after consulting several other doctors and heart specialists). She has never talked much about what happened other than to say it was the most horrible thing she has ever gone through in her life. Since then I have never looked at late term abortions the same and get very angry when people say that it is “black and white”. While her life was not in danger, she just couldn’t continue waiting for a miscarriage and putting her family (her daughters were in their early teens at this point) through the entire ordeal. The quality of Brian’s life if he did make it and the burden and strain (emotional and financial) that it would put on the entire family weighed heavily on her and Frank as they made the decision. Now, the most religious and fanatical anti-abortionist would believe that she should have left it to “God’s Will” and that she and her husband were making a choice that was not theirs. I never believed that. I fundamentally believe that all women should have the choice to make these decisions for themselves and that if the most religious and fanatical don’t agree with it they can always choose not to have one. But, I am digressing here. After that, she has commented on more than one occasion that the psychics were correct and she conceived her son, she better understood why they could not give her more detail.

Since Brian counts, does my early miscarriage? Does the unconfirmed pregnancy, if it in fact was one, count? How does this work? Do I even believe in any of it? Right now, I really don’t know. I guess time will tell. I guess the worst case scenario is that they all count and if I miscarry this current pregnancy I am shit out of luck and have no children in my future. I just can’t imagine that for myself. Ideally, if I am able to have a child, I would like that child to have a sibling. So, if the confirmed pregnancy counts and the unconfirmed one doesn’t then it would still be possible. I wonder how adoption fits into this all this. Does having a child by adoption count on the palm reading family chart? These are things that I just don’t know. I would like to. I would like to have some real answers on this stuff. Since that is very unlikely, I think I will just re-file it all in the back of my brain for later, much much later. It’s not anything that I am going to spend any more time right now worrying about or contemplating.

But, I do wonder.