A new day, a new attitude

Today was a much better day than yesterday. I am not usually so moody and morose. I guess all of the extra hormones along with the extra sugar and carbs wasn’t a good combination along with the disappointment of last week. I took a long walk in the rain with the dogs and ate a very healthy dinner last night. I started feeling better after that. Then, I cuddled up on the couch with one of my dogs to read and fell asleep. I couldn’t believe it. I woke up at 8 pm, blew out the candles, and went to bed. I slept until 4:45 which is also great for me. What is that….a little over 9 hours of sleep? I am usually happy if I get 6 or 7. Wow, I guess the progesterone kicked in.

I was also very glad I worked today. I got done several things that really needed to be done. Plus, I have been out of the office so much that my team was really happy too. Several of them had things they wanted to go over with me, but hadn’t had a chance.

I did manage to call the sperm bank and put in an order of 4 more vials of my #1 guy. Didn’t hear back on whether he is available when I will need him again. Oh, I mean when I MAY need him again.

Feeling better about the whole Christmas thing. I decided I need to work on my reaction to things when I am not expecting them. Very hard for someone with the Project Management background that I have. I am really happy for my mom. It will be much nicer for her to go than to stay. I actually could go if I wanted or go to my cousins instead. I already have the time off of work. I just don’t really want to spend the money right now. Whether I am pregnant or not, I don’t think I want to be traveling right then. Maybe I will change my mind. I just had to remind myself that I am not a victim. I do have choices around this and several places/people locally or not to spend the holiday. Right now, I am choosing not.

I still am having cramping on and off in my left ovary area. However, I realize that it is much more likely that one or more of those three smaller follicles did not ovulate and turned into cysts. I did re-read the symptoms of an ectopic, but am sure that I was just being over dramatic yesterday. Since I seem to be having an even worse than normal reaction to things I haven’t expected, it is probably good that I at least thought about it.

I canceled the consult I had scheduled with my dr. for tomorrow and rescheduled for next week. Since I am not taking vacation this week and I really do have a lot to do for work, I didn’t want to be out of the office this week if I didn’t have to. So, I rescheduled for next Wednesday. I am also trying to talk them into letting me do my first beta when I am in. It will be 13 dpo instead of 14 dpo. Haven’t heard back. We will see.

Today was a good day! I saw the sun rise over the mountains this morning. The air was crisp and cool. I got several things done that I wanted to. The worst thing that happened today was that I forgot to call and cancel my dog walker who was going to cover while I was on bed rest for the transfer. Lucky, he was responsible and called to check since he hadn’t heard back from me to finalize the days. He was worried that I may be in the hospital and didn’t have anyone looking in on the dogs. If he hadn’t caught me on the phone he was going to come over and check. Now, that is why I have him taking care of my dogs when I can’t. It endeared him more to me.

I am either pregnant or not right now. If I am, the little embryo is making its way down the fallopian tube. If not, I will try again soon. Either way, I will find out in a week or so and nothing I do or don’t do will change that fact. Hopefully, I can keep this up this new and improved attitude until then.

It was a new day with a new attitude.