Monday, May 12, 2008

Some Max Conversations

Here are some Max conversations from today.

Conversation 1: Scene - I'm going to the bathroom getting ready to take a shower this morning before work.

Max: Mom, you have pubic hair?

Me: Yes. I have pubic hair.

Max: I have pubic hair?

Me: No, not right now. Not until you are older.

Max: (as he stretches himself up really tall) I'm bigger. I have pubic hair now?

Me: No sweety, not until you are almost ready to drive. Maybe when you are around 14.

Later tonight while he is eating dinner and I'm talking to my sister from NJ on the phone.

Max: Mom, I have pubic hair?

Me: No, you don't have any pubic hair right now. (to which my sister was laughing on the other end of the phone)

Max: Okay.

Max seems way more interested in the fact that I have pubic hair and he doesn't than the whole penis/vagina difference. This came up a few months ago when he asked me about it once and then again last week. Also, 14 is a favorite number of his. He came into my office the other day and told me he needed $14. I'm trying to teach him our address and when I tell him the house numbers which are 4 digits, he tells me no, we live at 14.

Conversation 2: Scene - I'm at the peri's for an u/s and decided to take Max and Noemi with me since Max has been so interested, he had nothing else going on this morning, and the peri is very close to my house.

Max: Doctor, the babies are growing.

Doc: Yes, they are growing.

Max: They want to come out?

Me: Not right now. They still need to grow more. They should finish growing in August.

Max: After Santa Clause comes?

Me: No, before Santa comes. At the end of the summer.

( a minute or two later)

Max: Doctor, the babies are growing and want to come out?

Doc: (under his breath) Same answer as a few minutes ago (with a chuckle). (to Max) No, not yet. Not until it is time to start getting colder.

Me: (to the doc) You can't imagine how often I get that question. (to Max) The babies still need to grow and get bigger yet Max. Once they get big enough, they will be ready. Probably in the August at the end of the summer.

The doctor was actually much more patient and nicer than I thought he would be. He had a smile on his face to all of Max's questions. I guess he has several grandchildren. One of which is about Max's age and has his same curly hair and charming smile. The way the peri does the u/s, it is very hard to actually tell that they are babies. He did try to get some decent pics and gave 3 to Max. I'm always surprised at how outgoing Max is having no problem being there and asking the doc what he wanted to know. Not intimidated in the least. The whole way home he kept saying he wanted to go back to the doctors; he wanted to go back and see the babies at the doctors; can we go again mommy? BTW: Babies look fine and growing well. Cervix fine. No problems. All is well.

Conversation 3: Scene - As Max is walking in the door with Noemi from his swim class with an older "baby" phone he's had since he was a baby.

Max: Mommy, I called you.

Me: You did? Great! What did you say?

Max: Yes, I called you and daddy.

Me: (thinking how do I respond to that one) You called me and daddy?

Max: Yes, daddy is coming at the end of the summer to live here.

Me: You mean the babies are coming at the end of the summer.

Max: No, not babies. Daddy.

Me: Max, we are a mommy and child family. We don't have a daddy in our family.

Conversation interrupted with Noemi coming in from hanging up the swim suits and towels and to day goodbye for the day. He's mentioned daddy's in general, his friends daddy's in particular, and how I was his mommy and his daddy before, but this is a new twist. We will have to see when and how it will come up again. But, it will come up again, and I would bet probably pretty soon because I think he's still processing this and trying to figure it all out, and the conversation was interrupted before it had a chance to play itself out fully, but I bet there was a bit more on his mind about this topic.

Conversation 4: Scene 1: Driving home from the Peri.

Max: Mommy, you eat poo poo.

Me: No, Max. I don't eat poo poo. Eating poo poo can make you very sick. It has germs and bacteria in it. That's why any time I finish cleaning up poo poo's I make sure to wash my hands with soap and water really well, just in case any get on it.

Max: Yes, eating poo poo is good. MMMM mmmm. Yummy!

Me: Who told you eating poo poo is good?

Max: (ignoring me looking out the window)

Noemi: Max, your mommy's talking to you.

Max: Huh?

Noemi: Your mommy's talking to you. She asked you a question.

Max: What?

Me: (trying one more time) Max, who told you that eating poo poo was good.

Max: (clearly done with the conversation) Look, a bus. See the bus. On the busway.

Me: Yes, I see the bus on the busway.

Scene 2: About 10 minutes after I put Max to bed.

Me: Max, get back in your room.

Max: I have poo poo.

Me: Okay, thanks for telling me. (as I get up and walk towards him) Let me get a poo poo bag.

Max: The poo poo has germs in it.

Me: Yes.

Max: Germs. Ohhhhh. Germs.

(get him on changing table)

Max: It's okay to go poo poo in the diaper?

Me: Yes, it's fine to go poo poo in the diaper until your ready to go in the potty. When your ready to go poo poo in the potty you tell mommy or mimi and we will help you. Until then, yes, please go poo in the diaper.

Max: Eat the poo poo momma.

Me: No, we don't eat poo poo Max. Eating it can make you very sick.

Max: Yes, momma, you want to eat the poo poo.

Me: No, I don't want to eat the poo poo. It's yucky. Eating it can make you very sick.

Max: It's yummy. It's good to eat poo poo.

Me: Who told you that it was good to eat poo poo.

Max : J (his cousin) told me it was good.

Me: Well, I'm sure he was just joking around with you, because it's not.

(finished diaper change, done the prerequisite showing him his poo, off to put it outside, wash my hands, and get him back in bed.)

We actually have the poo conversation on a fairly regular basis over the last 6 months. Actually, probably around the time I got pregnant. Some of it is probably trying to figure things out. Most of it is teasing me, joking around, and trying to get a reaction. I almost always asked who told him that because only 3 - 4 times has he had an answer ready. Most of the time it is a conversation stopper because he can't think of a good come back. I couldn't even tell you how many times we've had the same or similiar conversations in regards to poo. Hey, I'd rather talk about it than clean up a poo mess so I'm thankful that he's telling me it's there and letting me clean it up rather than making a big mess in his room.

Ah, this boy of mine. It's so interesting to talk to him and try to understand how his mind works. Tonight, after coming out to tell me he had a poo and he wanted more milk, he came to tell me his room was scary. Hard to tell if he was really scared or just stalling some more. Yesterday, he told me he didn't want Santa to come because Santa was scary. And, where is Santa mommy? What's he doing? Things sure aren't dull around here and these are just a small sampling of fairly normal type conversations around this place.

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