Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Interesting Converstation

Yesterday, amid the chaos and challenges of the day, I had a very interesting conversation. Mary (the lady who adopted Nikki, my foster dog), Barbara (who coordinates my fostering and adoptions for the golden retriever rescue), and I were doing the needed paper work (which is minimal) and talking. Mary asked me if I was a single mom, then if there was a father in the picture. :) I said yes, I'm a single mom and that I used donor sperm. It's funny because I could tell that Barbara was very interested even though she had never asked. Although we have "worked" together and had interactions for months, I guess she didn't feel it was appropriate to ask/felt comfortable asking herself, but she sure was happy to get details. :) I guess I'm the third person Mary knows who has gone this route. Both were very interested in whether I planned or had found half siblings. Barbara is also a single mom and shared that her daughter was adopted (although I'm not sure if she adopted as a single woman or adopted while married and then divorced). Her daughter is now a teenager and seems to be craving a genetic connection to someone. I explained on how the donor was willing to be known once Max was an adult and how I had not yet sought out siblings, but may in the future if that was something that was important to Max. And, I got the familiar question about whether I wanted more children and gave my standard...yes, I'd love another and I've been trying without success. And, added how that is one of the reasons I'm happy with fostering dogs for now instead of adopting. You could tell both women were interested, supportive, and a bit impressed. Not that I'm looking for approval or acceptance because of my choices and how I built/am building my family, but sometimes it comes in the oddest circumstances with the strangest people. I could tell both women were happy for me and respected that I had gone this route. Their interest seemed a bit more personal than the normal voyeuristic curiosity. Since this was a quick conversation in the middle of a hectic day while Max was throwing a fit because he didn't want to go for his nap and Roxy (the dog I was watching for the weekend was jumping all about making a nuisance of herself as only a small dog, IMO, can), we didn't get into details of our lives. However, it left me wondering about Barbara's journey to adoption and whether Mary (whose is 65 and lives alone) ever had children or wished the same options were available to her then that are available now. It was just a small, small part of yesterday, and yet, it is what is still with me today.

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