Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Sleep, baby, sleep

I got to the hospital and both babies were sleeping. I went and held Ray for a long time and he just looked so happy and content. I held him up until his noon nipple feeding which he took again today like a champ. We were a bit messier today, but it was my fault because I filled the nipple too full a few times. Then, I needed to go pump, but he was wide, wide awake so it was hard to leave. When I came back, he was again sleeping soundly.

Nora had been awake awhile. When I looked over when leaving to pump, she was wide awake. And, she was wide awake when I got back. Once she got into my arms, she nestled in and slept...well, like a baby. Again, it was so nice. It will be nicer when I'm not gowned, gloved, and masked and so darn hot I can hardly stand it, but hey, I'll do what I have to do for now.

My visit was only marred by the fact that they moved Ray on the other side of the room around the corner last night. I tried not to let it ruin my day/visit with my babies, but it was hard because I was irked at best and angry at worst. It would be one thing if there was any good logic behind it, but there really wasn't. I was told it was because they were worried about cross contamination between the two which is quite insulting really. There are two other babies closer to Nora than Ray was in an open crib and bassinet, respectively. So, I guess they just don't trust me to not go back and forth or that I'm too stupid to follow the rules? As much as I keep trying to talk myself out of being pissed off, I'm finding it difficult. In the whole scheme of things it isn't that big of a deal, but it is just so much nicer to have them both within eye sight at the same time so when I'm holding one, I can see the other...especially since I either seem to time it so they are awake when I am holding the other or my arms are just so comfy they can't help but fall asleep as soon as I hold them. It's also nice to be closer so they can feel my presence and hear my voice when I am with the other one. Nora's nurse the last two days is a really nice guy and the one that was on the same side when I had that awful nurse a few weeks ago that validated that the other nurse was out of line. I could tell he felt really bad about them moving Ray and that he didn't agree. He said he may say something to the night nurses tonight if it isn't the same ones as yesterday to see if they can move Ray back. I'm not holding my breath, but I will be looking for the right opportunity to say something about how much more family friendly the other arrangement was. I can't wait until I have both my babies home and I have much more control and all the rules will be my own. On top of everything else, it is hard for me to relinquish so much control of my young babies to someone else. It's one thing when the decisions are rational and understandable, it is much more difficult when they seem to be made out of ignorance or worse lack of trust and that is really the only two scenarios I can come up with as to why Ray was moved. Okay, vent over. I really need to let this go, let it go, let it go, let it go.

Max is good. I left the hospital a bit early to have time with him this afternoon since we have plans tomorrow for swimming and dinner with a friend and my cousin is taking him to Arizona Thursday morning for a long weekend. I so didn't want him to go, but I asked him and he wants to go and he will have fun and it will give me several days of more time at the hospital and split one less way. I sure will miss him though. Some how the trip across state lines seems so much different than me being in the hospital even though the amount of time will be the same. Oh, he is growing up so fast and the twins don't seem to be growing fast enough. I just want them all home with me...then, I'll complain about how tired I am or will have zero time to blog because it will be insane...that's fine. I want that now, but the journey is not yet done. I have to get through at least another month of them both in the hospital, then having one home and the other not before I can get to where I want to be with all three sleeping under my roof with me in charge.


Katrina said...

I'm sorry they moved Ray, it doesn't make sense to me either. I get the feeling there are a bunch of babies in one room? Is that right? How does that work with Nora in isolation? Our NICU, each baby had its own room within a pod (there were 4 pods), unless they were twins and twins were in a room together (there was a twin room in each pod..slightly bigger).

Laura in L.A. said...

I hope they move Ray back! It seems like a no-brainer that both babies would benefit from hearing their mother's voice, and being in her presence! Praying for wisdom for the nursing staff...

Deb, I know you will miss Max terribly over the weekend, but use the time to get some good sleep! Recharge those batteries! End of a**vice! :):)

Love, Laura