Friday, July 25, 2008

RIP Shadow, RIP

Shadow died today. I'm sad and I miss her. She was 17, most of it with me, and had a good life. It was just her time, but it is still so hard. She had a large mass, probably cancer that had metastasized, in her stomach, liver, or spleen. By this morning, she couldn't walk or keep water down and defecated on the patio overnight trying to get to the grass. I wasn't even with her at the end. Logistically and emotionally, I just couldn't do it. Okay, I could have if I really had to, but my cousin really has been my angel this summer and made it easier for me (and much harder for her). I said my goodbyes, hoping I was wrong again this time and that she would rebound again. She was such a great dog. Irreplaceable really. My cousin, who did the dirty work for me, wondered at the timing as my Lucky died within 6 months of bringing Max home and now Shadow 6 weeks after the twins were born. My house is no dog free and I don't like it, not at all. While I may long and yearn for another, the right dog will find our family down the road when the timing is right.

Up until the end, Shadow still got out for walks twice a day most day. It wasn't always me doing it, but I always made sure she was not just shoved in a corner. It was so hard on her when I was in the hospital. Now I have better insight as to why. I think she knew then that her time was limited where as I have been so pre-occupied and tired I didn't really pick up the signs until the last day or two. I could have regrets about how I should have given her more time or attention, but really I'm only one person and stretched to the limit right now. Some days more so than others. Today is one of those days.

Shadow, I hope you knew how much I loved you. Enough to let you go when the time was right. May you be reunited with our Lucky and your Brandy at the rainbow bridge.


QuiltingChaos said...

So sorry for your loss... I can't even read the words "rainbow bridge" without crying...

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful dog!! I'm sorry for your loss.


Jen said...

Oh Deb I'm so sorry :(

Laura in L.A. said...

Oh, Deb, I am so sorry. What an awful blow.

But no dog was more loved, or better cared for. She had a wonderful life, and a family who loved her very, very much.

You did right by your sweet girl, and I hope you will feel peaceful soon.

Love, Laura

Care said...

Deb, I am so sorry. She was a beautiful dog!

Susan said...

I'm sorry to here about Shadow, Deb. I wasn't there when my kitty passed, either, and it was so hard. I still well up with tears when I think about it.

Hugs to all of you.


Wendchymes said...

hi debbie,

just adding my sad condolenses for your loss as well. There is something touchingly poetic in the way that shadow stayed with you, until your babies were all safely delivered, and now she has passed over, to be your faithful guardian. Sometimes people who lose their pets, still feel a sense of them around after they are gone. Perhaps you will too. My friend and her mother, had to put their beloved cat to sleep, and later that day, they were both laying on the bed, mourning their loss, when all of sudden they both swear they felt the bed jump, like he had just leapt onto it, for a nice nap, just like he always had, and they both sat straight up in the bed, and looked at each other, and said, "did you feel that ?"

You were an excellent dog care giver, and you were both lucky to have had each other, to look after, and I am sure that Shadow will continue to look after all of you, until you meet again.

P.s. the twins are gorgeous, especially love Nora's hair colour, she is such a beauty indeed and Ray is quite the handsome boy ! Well done !

Aimee said...

Oh Deb... :( I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved pooch. *hugs*

Solitaire said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Deb. What a blow on top of all the other stress you are under.