Thursday, September 20, 2007

Blah, Blah, Blah

How I'm feeling? Extremely anxious, high strung, stressed mixed with some anger and sadness.

How I want to be feeling? Calm, serene, at peace

I probably should go take a warm bath the help me relax and settle so I can get some sleep tonight, but I really don't feel like getting wet.

And, this is probably stating the obvious to everyone except me, I came to the conclusion between yesterday and today after very limited Internet reading and several conversations with friends who have experience and know these things, that it is so unlikely that Max has a brain tumor that will kill him, or severe autism, or sensory delay disorder, that I probably shouldn't worry about it. And, if he does have a delay or issues with his fine motor skills, it may JUST mean that he has a delay with his fine motor skills. Nothing more and nothing less. I realized that I read into and fed off of what the teacher didn't say and how she said it probably more or just as much as what she said.

I really have to catch myself from wishing my life away right now, cause I really wish it were Christmas already with the cycle behind me with hopefully the best Christmas present with the cycle having worked. I can't believe how stressed out and anxious I feel right now. I think once I get the whole money thing worked out and pay everyone what I need to pay them I'll be feeling a lot better.

Maybe I will go take that relaxing warm bath after all.

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