Sunday, February 10, 2008

Blah, Blah, Blah

Today is the first day I haven't felt completely crappy in recent memory. I made an executive decision to stop taking those evil antibiotics. I just can't keep them down, especially after the other night when I attempted to take them without food to see if that would help and ended up vomiting anyway. That was awful...really awful. I haven't been sleeping well and was up with diahrea and vomiting...often at the same time. The other day, the only thing I could keep down were cheerios and I don't even like cheerios. I was so tired of the same ole food, I went to an early dinner with my mom and Max yesterday. I took two bites and knew it was a mistake and it would not stay down. It didn't. At least Shadow got a nice dinner. On Friday afternoon/evening, I got a bit crampy and got a tad worried, but never started bleeding and it was gone the next day so I guess it was just one of those things. Max has been great through it all and is funny as can be. I've decided he is a directive two year old (as opposed to a bossy one :). He's the one joy in the misery I've been feeling. I tell you, I'm going to be so pissed at Dr. H, the SR doc, if I don't start feeling better after the reduction as she said most women do. It's the one thought that is getting me through.

Now that I know that nature isn't going to take it's course and unless things go dreadfully wrong somewhere, I'm really going to have some kids out of this, I'm getting a bit freaked out and worried about money. I haven't put things on paper yet, but started adding up what I think childcare is going to cost the first year and I think it will take up my entire salary and that is just the child care expenses not counting mortgage, food, gas/electricity, etc. And, I make a decent salary. Worried and stressed enough that I've been contemplating reducing to one. I wouldn't actually do this unless my doc advised it, the CVS indicates that would be a wise move, or for some other medical reason. But, I don't know how all this is going to work out. Having twins/three young kids is going to be stressful enough without the added money/financial pressure and operating in the red. I must do a budget and come up with a plan soon. I need more space if I go with a live in, but don't think I can afford it. Or the number of hours of help those who have gone before me recommend. Yet, I trust and respect them and their experiences. Oh, what to do, what do do. I keep telling myself it is all going to work out somehow. That's starting to not help much.

4 comments:

tripntwinmom said...

A little hope for you...I have 5 kids and have NEVER had a live-in. Yes, I had a Nanny when the triplets were young, but she came in the mornings and left when I got home from work at 4. She was great and very affordable at just $165 a week. Even now, I have a neighbor who looks after my twins and she just charges me $125 a week. So, it IS possible. You just have to look into it and find the deals that are out there. BUDGETING is the key!

Anonymous said...

Your babies may not need their own room right away. For the first six months with our twins, we had one crib (that they shared) plus most of the baby stuff - changing table, dresser, etc. - in the main area of our house (we have a large open kitchen/dining/living room area.) That's where we spent the majority of our time and it was easier than going back and forth to a nursery. We have three bedrooms. Our toddler had one, my husband and I kept our room - with a cosleeper for the twins, and we needed to use our third room for company because for the first 9 weeks, we had family members visit to help out. So, it was easiest to just have the babies' area be in the main part of the house. My guess is that by the time your babies are sleeping through the night and/or need their own room, you won't need live-in help anymore, and then you won't need an extra bedroom dedicated to a helper/babysitter. P.S. If you telecommute to your job, can you work from anywhere in the country?? Maybe you could move to a more afforable area and get a larger house at a lower cost.

Anonymous said...

Deb,
I cannot imagine the feelings you are going through right now. Only you know what is best for you. If that means SR to one, then thats what it means. I wish you the best of luck with your decision.

Quiltingchaos said...

Hey Deb! I've been checking on you a lot. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. When I was really nauseated, pretzels, cheetos and goldfish crackers were my best friends (oh and those little sour lemon altoid candies).
-Margie