Complements of Dr. Dan…

I know I say this after every visit, but I just love Dr. Dan. He worked on my shoulder and gave me some stretches to help and suggested I sleep with a pillow under my arm to keep my shoulder from rolling forward, which he said is causing the problem. He gives the absolute best massages. Normally, I go once a month. I decided to start going more frequently as I get closer to help with all the aches and pains I have heard get worse the closer you get to your due date.

For your amusement and spiritual growth, Dr. Dan shared the following prayers:

Female/Male prayers (with thanks to Dr. “O” for sharing this)

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who’s not a creep.
One who’s handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won’t be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who’ll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I pray that this man will love me to no end.
And always be my very best friend. Amen.

MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge _ _ _ _ _
Who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
This doesn’t rhyme and I don’t care. Amen.

(well, is this pretty much true, folks???)

ETA: If I were Dr. Dan’s assistant I would be pissed at him. Granted, I don’t think he told everyone this, just me…since he knows that I am single and needed reproductive help to get pregnant. But, he told me that June was out for a few days for IVF and that this is her second and that the first one failed. I told him that I would spare him the details, but I got pregnant on a cancelled IVF cycle and that I so hope it works for her this time because it is a long hard journey. As I told him, by the time you get to the point of doing IVF you have already faced a long hard road. He sheepishly said, yes, she didn’t want me to say anything because everyone would ask how it went and it was so hard to talk about if it didn’t work. I agreed with her that it really is hard. Of course, now I want to know details like what was her protocol, who was her RE, etc. I didn’t ask Dr. Dan because I am sure he doesn’t know and I would never ask June herself unless she brings it up herself which is unlikely unless Dr. Dan tells her that he told me which is unlikely. Somehow, I like her a lot more knowing she is going through this as unfair as that is. Go, June, Go!! I’m hoping you are sharing nice preggo news soon!