Bed Rest Day 2:

After I got over my pity party, Day 1 wasn’t completely horrible. I’m so glad that I had work. I talked to several people who thought I was crazy for not going out on disability while I have the chance, especially because I have enough hours accrued I would be paid at full salary. It’s not an ego thing. I don’t think anyone else can’t do my job or that I am irreplaceable. Actually, my back up while I am out on maternity will probably do my job better in some ways than I do. She is more detailed oriented and I am more high level. Not that I can’t do the details, I just don’t like to and often don’t, finding other important things to do instead. Although, I have teased her to not do my job so well when I am out that they don’t want me back. LOL. The job will be done somewhat differently, not better or worse. I’m okay with that. The truth of the matter is that I like my job and the people that I work with. Sure, I don’t like everything about it or everyone I work with. I don’t think anyone will find a job like that. However, overall I like work and look forward to working every day. Plus as egotistical as it may sound, I am good at it. I have a natural confidence at work that hasn’t come so naturally in other parts of my life. I had serious work alcoholic tendencies in my past. When I moved to LA almost 10 years ago, I made myself a promise that I would have a more balanced life and would cut back. I have kept that promise. At the time, I thought it would mean less choices, less advancement, less opportunity and more mundane work. I’m happy to say that hasn’t been true. I have had to put some boundaries in place. I only take/schedule meetings before 9 am on very rare and important circumstances. I have only done it 3 or 4 times this year which is a challenge since I work with many people and all of my bosses are either on eastern or central time. I don’t work tons of overtime anymore. Occasionally, I will work late or a weekend if something really has to get done, but I won’t do it as a rule anymore. One of the reasons my maternity back up will likely do better in some parts of my job is that she is willing to put in a lot of overtime that I am just not willing to do anymore. To make a long story short, I don’t let my job define who I am, but I do like it and it is a good distraction for me. I’m not quite ready to be off yet. Maybe next week when my cousin is here.

After work, my friend Tracy came over to keep me company. She took the dogs on a quick walk and went to the grocery store for me. I got teary eyed again when she left with the dogs and I couldn’t go. In fact, I am getting teary eyed again typing this. I think I could better handle bed rest most of the time if I could have my walks. At least one of them a day. Better move to a different subject before I get myself all worked up into another full fledge pity party again.

I still haven’t heard from my normal dog walker. It is unusual enough that I hope he is okay. Probably it is something like he went out of town and left his pager/cell phone and/or charger on accident or it is out of range and he wasn’t expecting it or something like that. I called my vets office and the receptionists sister is in high school and looking for extra cash. She is going to walk them in the evenings, at least this weekend. They have a big garage sale planned for this weekend and she couldn’t do it in the mornings, which is my first preference. That’s a relief. I wish I had something firm lined up for the mornings. My neighbor Susan came over yesterday and brought me a Jamba Juice. She commented on how Shadow is really struggling and limping “really bad”. Shadow is old and used to being walked twice a day for at least 80 – 90 min. which the vet has said is the best thing for her and keeps her loose and nimble. She has gone from that to almost no walking in days. The dogs are handling it better than I thought, but this bed rest thing is hard on us all. Susan said she would come by again sometime today and take them out for me. She couldn’t do it last night because she had organized a big neighborhood watch walk for last night. I can’t wait to here how it went since I had to miss it. And, my friend Heather said she would call and come by this morning. She’ll take the dogs out if I asked or Susan hasn’t come over yet.

Not to worry, I am not sitting at my computer typing up this long rambling blog entry. I am typing it on my work laptop while lying on my side with pillows propped under my left armpit for support in what I am referring to as my “day” room. I will transfer it to my home computer and post from there.

To keep myself sane, I have designated my bedroom as normal, at night sleep room. The bed in my spare room is my official “day” room which is set up with my laptop and work phone. It offers me a view of the front yard and street like I would get if I was working in my office or at my home computer. The couch’s in the living room and in the back yard (if it isn’t too hot) are designated as evening locations or company come visiting locations. One must do what one must do to keep sane.

Salvation Army is coming between 10:30 and 1:30 and will hopefully haul away all my no longer wanted, but hard to part with furniture. I really don’t like the fact that I was asked if it was in “good” condition and that the driver has the discretion to refuse to take any of it. I told the lady it isn’t in great condition otherwise I wouldn’t be getting rid of it, but it is still serviceable and solid wood furniture. We will see. I may have to go off on the driver if he refuses any of it. He is dealing with a pregnant women in a fragile state.

I am trying to behave myself as much as possible. I’ve decided I like the term restricted activity better than bed rest and am going to use that with my family, who I still haven’t told. I only have one incident of blatant disregard for my dr.’s orders, but I am doing the best I can with this. I know. I know. There could truly be a lot worse fates. In the whole scheme of things, bed rest isn’t really that bad. Intellectually, I know this. Emotionally and physically it is really, really hard on me.