The pointless, multi-topic post

Usually, when I sit down to write a blog, I have a topic or theme in mind. Usually, it is something I have been thinking about and the blog may be mostly written in my mind and I just need to get it onto paper. If fact, often, I write blogs in my head that never make it to paper and therefore never get posted. Today, I have a lot of random, unrelated thought so I decided I am just going to type and we will see what comes out of it.

First off, the spotting finally stopped. Hallelujah!! It got more constant as Wednesday went on and was heavier and steady all day Thursday. Needless to say, I did NOT like that at all. Instead of mentally composing blogs, I mentally composed several emails to my RE on this topic with questions such as how heavy and how long does this have to last for me to get more worried and seek medical attention. These emails never got to paper or sent. Friday, the spotting started letting up. Today, none. What a relief!! Life is better and I am much happier without the spotting. Even my OB appointment this week didn’t seem quite so bad once I had stopped spotting. As I have said before, give me the nausea; give me the vomiting and the fatigue. I will take it all. I just don’t like the spotting.

I was talking to my sister Cindy in Atlanta this morning. Being as supportive as only a sister can, she said it was great that I was able to have an u/s this week at 12 w because, you know, anything can really happen until that point. THANK YOU!! I think she must forget or not realize how paranoid I already am. I don’t need any reminders. However, she had a good point on the spotting. She told me I should keep track of when it occurred and how long to see if it corresponded to when I would have gotten a period. As she put it, you have always had strong hormones. This is sister speak for you were always a raving B*I*T*C*H and made our lives hell. I have always felt my sisters overstated this, but then again, I didn’t have to live with me. Anyway, I haven’t had a chance to go back and calculate yet, but I think she may have a point. Not that I won’t still panic and freak out if it happens again (or if she is right, when it happens again), but it will give me more questions to ask my dr. when I find one who has time for me or Dr. N.

I went to a local SMC meeting today. I had such a great time. It is such a wonderful group of women. We had two new members this month. One was a woman that is foster adopting who had an adorable little girl and finds out in 6 weeks if she will get to keep her. I sure hope it works out for her. The other is a tryer who also goes to Dr. N. It turns out that she and I ran into each other on the day I found out I was pregnant, before I found out I was pregnant. Remember, I had the beta and my what’s next consult with Dr. N, then I needed to wait for the tank to go move my sperm from the sperm bank to the clinic? She was the person who had reserved the tank for the morning. I was waiting in the lobby when she brought in the tank and exclaimed, your back early. I have it reserved next or some other such comment. Isn’t it a funny, small world sometimes?

My mom’s boyfriend died. They have dated for years, but haven’t seen much of each other lately because he hasn’t been feeling well for awhile. He had called her a week or so ago and left a message saying it is important and to call him back as soon as she could. She called and called, but never reached him. She called the local hospitals, but he wasn’t there. It turns out he was in a comma in UCLA. We just found this out yesterday and the memorial service was today at the same time as the local SMC meeting. I told them I couldn’t go because I had a prior commitment at the same time. My sister called and left me a scathing message this morning about how I should cancel my appointment and go to the service so I could be there for mom. This is sister speak for you are such a selfish B*I*T*C*H and if I have to do this, you should as well. I haven’t called her back. I did feel slightly guilty for a few minutes, but 1) I was not that close to Russ 2) my mom has both my sister Julie and my sister Kris there for support. If she really needed someone, I would have gone. However, I started wondering if maybe Kris couldn’t go because of work and Julie had to go with Mom by herself. I would not be surprised. We are finally having Julie’s Birthday lunch tomorrow. I am sure I will hear all about it and how awful I am then. I can’t wait. Regardless, I am glad I made the choice that I did. It probably is selfish of me, but I don’t care. Mostly.

I thought I had lost another pound on Friday, but it was back today. I am holding steady at down 5 – 6 lbs since the beginning of my IVF cycle. Dr. N said losing weight in the first tri wasn’t a problem, but he would be worried if I didn’t start gaining in the second. Dr. G didn’t seem to care one way or another. We will see what the next few months hold. I guess I am not too worried because at my u/s on Tuesday, I was 11w5d and the baby measured 12w6d almost a week ahead. I don’t want Dr. G to be right and have such a big baby that I have to have a c-section. But, not to worry. I am not dieting by any stretch of the imagination. I am eating on a regular basis. I am still having difficulty with the veggies and protein, but am less nauseous at the thought of them so maybe I will be able to work them back into my diet soon.

I have decided that Wednesday, the day I met with my OB, was the start of the emotional phase of my pregnancy. I have been near tears a few times since over silly stuff. The other day I was listening to the radio and got tear eyed at this song that wasn’t even particularly sad. Today, on the way to the SMC meeting, there was a sign on the freeway saying that there was an accident on the 405S at Mullholland and that the 2 right lanes were closed. When I read that, I got all sad and teary eyed thinking that it must be a bad accident for them to post it and for 2 lanes to be closed and that I hoped no one was seriously hurt. I had to laugh at myself.

I really am starting to get excited and think that this might work out. I decided that when I see Dr. G next month I am going to ask him if I can get referred out for monthly u/s. And, as I search for a new one, I am going to find someone who will agree to that. I read a post from someone on the SMC Pregnancy list that she had an u/s and that it had been 12 weeks since her last one. God, I hope I don’t have to go that long. I really don’t think I can take it. I have decided that there is no use trying to be otherwise. I am just going to be a high maintenance pregnant patient and I need to find a dr. that is willing to accept that with good humor. This is LA. Come on, there are plenty of dr.’s around. I just have to find the right one. I could temper and try to restrain myself, but I don’t think that is going to make me happy.

I wish I had no more plans for the weekend and could just hang out and relax for the duration. Oh well. At least I have no plans for the rest of the day. I think I will go walk the dogs and then plant myself on the couch for the duration.