Friday, September 08, 2006

Benched, maybe forever

I can’t even tell you how upset I am right now and how sorry I am feeling for myself at the moment. Today, for the very first time I have to face the very real possibility that Max may never have a sibling, at least not a genetically related one. It’s a really scary thought and no matter how much I hope or want it to be different will make it so.

My ovaries are flat out not responding. They have just decided not to play the game.

Today is cd9. I had one follicle at 5 on the left. As usual, nothing on the right. My lining was only 8. So, stopping all meds and benched until at least December. While I wait, my RE recommends surgery to remove my gall bladder. He said we have one more protocol to try, estrogen priming, and that if that doesn’t work we are out of options for me except adoption or donor egg.

There are more details and nuances, but I just don’t have it in me to get into them right now. I’m going to try to dry my tears and collect myself before Niomi and Max return from the park and continue my pity party after Max goes to bed tonight.

1 comment:

Katrina said...

Oh, Debbie, I am so sorry. I know how much you want a sibling for Max and I pray that you respond much better during your December cycle. Let's hope December is your lucky month! (I believe that is the month you conceived Max!)