Stressed AND Moody

I am feeling stressed and out of sorts this afternoon. The closer I get to next Tuesday when I fly with Max for the first time, the more stressed out I am becoming. I am so ill prepared. I don’t know what to take/not take. I’m not so worried about the actual flying, but the logistics. Like, how I will manage the luggage and Max.

I have been tired all week. I’m not sleeping great. Not extremely badly, either. But, not great. I just feel so tired. So tired, that I only felt mildly guilty that I had Niomi walk the dogs last night before she left and didn’t walk them myself and/or re-walk them later.

I have also had a low grade headache; my eyes are burning; and left ear is itchy. It is really windy here this week and I think a good part of the problem is allergy/sinus related. As I type this, I am realizing what a bad mood I really am in.

Anyway, I was maintaining. Not doing too badly until about two housr ago. I went to run a few errands. Before I left, I went to make sure that Lucky knew I was leaving because if I don’t she searches hi and low for me and anxiously looking for me the whole time I am gone. I called her as I walked into the office and she didn’t even stir. I touched her and again. Nothing. My heart and stomach just dropped and I thought OMG, she is dead. How can that be? She has still been having tummy upset no and again, but at last check just a few weeks ago she was still in remission. Then, slowly, she lifted her head and looked at me. My heart started beating again, but I wanted to lay down and cry. Now, I can’t seem to shake that mood. If Niomi wasn’t here, I would go climb in bed and have a good ole’ bawl. Instead, here I sit in my office teary eyed pretending to work.

Now, I really don’t want to have to leave Lucky and Shadow next week. I want to go. Or, rather, I want to be there. And, see everyone. And, show off Max. But, I don’t want to really leave my house, my routine, and Lucky and Shadow to do it. I’m sure I will be fine once I get there. The getting is going to be hard though.

I have so many things that have to get done and this afternoon would be the perfect time to do them. Yet, I am so not in the mood.