Top 10 things on my mind

1) My friend, N, got a BFN on Thursday. I just feel so bad for her. I wish there was something I could do to make it better.

2) My friend, C, is still in beta hell. Her beta’s are low, but rising (5, 18, 30). But, she had a lot of bleeding/cramping. She was told on Friday by her dr. that the bleeding wasn’t good, but it is still a 50/50 chance. As I told her, that’s a better chance than even conceiving on this cycle. I so hope this works out for her, but if it doesn’t that it ends sooner rather than later. I think she feels the same way.

3) My friend, T, went in to her first beta today. I can’t believe I forgot her the other day when asking for prayers and positive thoughts. She has been through the ringer as well. I really hope she gets good news today.

4) It is kind of amazing that I know so many people that are cycling and that they were all so close together. I wish they could all work.

5) I haven’t been sleeping that great. I am having trouble shutting down and forgetting about work. I picked up people care responsibilities and there has been a lot going on this week that I have had to deal with…a) an employee’s whose sister passed and was out of the office, but didn’t tell anyone b) a resignation c) one of our top performers whose site is closing and needs a salary increase, but we haven’t been able to commit that he can work from home or get a salary increase through d) a husband and wife who both work on my new team that may be put on the RIF list e) an employee who isn’t happy about her assignment change and has “worked from home” 3 or 4 days the last few weeks without prior authorization f) and on and on and on. With 60 people, if you only have “things” with a few, it still takes time and energy. I am having trouble not thinking and worrying about these things when work is done. I dreamed about all this stuff round and round last night. Needless to say, I woke up tired and a tad grumpy.

6) The smallest things are making me angry right now. It isn’t even 10 am and here are a few….a) the guy that cut my off when entering the freeway this morning then went REALLY slow in front of me b) the lady that almost blocked me in this morning while I was hiking making it difficult to get out c) the very, very old man that was driving the new shiny red “vet” 15 miles under the speed limit d) the grocery store bagger that doesn’t seem to understand “please don’t fill the bags too heavy”. Does he not realize that 6 cans of dog food in one bag is heavy? Or putting a jar of mayonnaise and spaghetti sauce in with a gallon of milk is too much? I was annoyed enough I asked them to repackage some of them e) the person who stopped by the garage sale across the street who BLOCKED my driveway and continued to browse while I waited with dogs and groceries in the car. I can’t say that I have anger management problems because I didn’t act out any of my thoughts/desires that involved destruction of property (in most cases). I had to keep repeating to myself….let it go….let it go…it isn’t worth it…let it go.

7) I am a really bad daughter, but really I am fine with it. Maybe I will save the details on this for a separate blog tomorrow.

8) I got to go. I have a lot to do today. When I woke up I was wishing I could have a whole day in bed with nothing to do. I realize that the reality is that I would be bored and ready to get out in an hour or so, but I wish things would slow down a bit around here. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening for at least a month or two or for the rest of the pregnancy.

9) Did I mention I made it to the 24 week mark on Thursday? Yep, 24w2d. Only a few more weeks until the baby is viable.

10) Shadow had dental surgery yesterday and now has 2 fewer teeth. I can tell she still isn’t feeling well. The whining and moving even slower than usual are my first clues. I got the dogs canned food today because she hasn’t eaten much (only soft treats with medicine) since Thursday night. Poor thing. Edited to add: Can you believe they tried to give me Shadow's teeth? Eww gross. I told them "no thanks" and the tech laughed and said, "well, they are your property" as he threw them out.