Major Pregnancy Milestone Achieved and What’s Really On My Mind

I achieved, at least in my own mind, a major pregnancy milestone this morning. A complete stranger asked me when I was due and how the pregnancy was going. I was out hiking with the dogs and a couple with a dog was going out as I was heading in. We stopped to complain about the shape of the trails (completely overgrown and not maintained) when we now have to PAY to park for these trails. Less people are doing the trails because of the paid parking situation which means that they are even more overgrown. And, those who used to volunteer their time and help with trail maintenance are no longer doing it. It is a bad circle. Anyway, getting back on topic, during the course of the conversation, the woman asked when I was due and how it was going. Yeah! I must be starting to actually look pregnant and not just fat if a complete stranger is willing to broach the subject. Hip Hip Horray!!

Now, for what is really weighing on my mind today…

1) I don’t know what to eat. Now that I am back from my trip and read the OB Text book on the Gestational Diabetes and realized how serious this is, I am at a complete loss. I mean, I know I should eliminate sweets and significantly reduce the number of carbs, but…What do I eat at 6 am when I am heading out to hike? What do I eat for lunch, dinner, and snacks? The thought of protein (steak, chicken, etc.) is just not very appetizing still. Tuna is good for once or twice a month. HMMM fresh crab sounds tasty, but not financially practical as a regular meal idea. I settled for Sushi for dinner, a can of peaches completely rinsed for my early morning snack, and celery and peanut butter for breakfast. Not perfect, but the best I could come up with for now. What do I eat for the rest of the day/week? I need meal ideas. I was planning on stopping to get groceries on the way home from hiking, but realized that I don’t know what to buy AND the dogs and I were dripping wet from the hike because it was misting/drizzling this morning and with everything overgrown we got extra wet from the plants/weeds we waded through. I guess I better figure it out soon. I can’t starve the kid (not a good practical alternative). I can just see me going in on Friday for my next OB appointment having actually lost weight. Not a good thing at this stage.

2) I have developed a cough. Other than being tired, I don’t feel bad, per se. Just a scratch in my throat with a cough and a bit of a runny nose. And, maybe a bit of pressure in my upper chest. Okay, I’m convinced! Another day of doing nothing and lying around is in order. I should have known when I had two naps yesterday and almost slept through the night (except for between 3 and 4 am).

3) It became painfully clear, during my work trip to Dallas, that within the near future I am going to have to make some hard choices about my job. I think I will still have opportunity within the company, but I’m going to have to move to do so. Texas or Michigan are the likely choices with Michigan probably the best choice because a) they are going to build a strong center of expertise around Program and Project Management, which is my focus b) I have Aunts and Uncles and Cousins that live in Michigan so I would have better support. It is going to be a hard choice. I REALLY like where I live. I like my house. I have spent 10 years getting my backyard the way I like it. I, FINALLY, after 10 years, feel like I have some great friends and a good support system. It will be hard to leave that. Really hard. On the other hand, staying means that I will likely have to begin commuting again, which will take away some of the current quality of life that I enjoy, and starting over in a new company. Michigan would be cheaper and you could argue that it is a better place to raise kids. Moving would not only mean moving me and my household (kid or kids and dogs included), but probably also my mom. I think if I go, she will want to go also so she can be around her grandkids as they grow, plus both her sister and her brother and my cousins all live in Michican. The thing about Michigan is that the weather sucks! I started my career 16 years ago in Michigan and didn’t like it and wanted to come back to California. I have made 4 moves so far with this company in my first 6 years and have been here for 10 now. I don’t need to decide now. I have time to think about it, but it is a decision I will need to make in the next year; two on the outside. But, I don’t think I can/should even mention it to my family just yet. My cousin will try to talk me into moving now. My mom will just worry. What’s a girl to do? At least, I have control over my decisions. I rode back to the airport with 2 of my colleagues (both female). One is sure that her husband, who works for the same company, will be out of work by the end of the year. He could re-skill, but doesn’t want to. The other is divorced and a single mom of a 4 year old. Her ex sounds like a real looser. He doesn’t work and has tried to sue for alimony and custody. She can’t move without going back to court to revise the visitation rights, which she is afraid, will re-open the whole can of worms. I’m not the only one being affected by any stretch of the imagination and I can see/understand why the company is making the changes that it is, but it is going to be a really difficult year or two as we try to get to the end state. Before we get there, I will need to have made some hard personal decisions.