50%

About a year ago my dog Lucky was diagnosed with Lymphoma. I was a few months pregnant with Max at the time. I was told with no treatment she would have only a few months to live. I just couldn’t bear to lose her so soon or worse, have her at her worst just when I was in the hospital with Max or just home with him. I elected to take her through a round of treatment (chemo and radiation). I was told before I started that there was a 25% chance she would not respond to treatment; 25% chance she would go into remission, stay that way and die of natural causes; and 50% chance she would go into remission for a period of time and then come out.

I had Lucky into the Vet today because her eye was really red and blood shot. She has been having tummy upset on and off for a few months now.

I think you can see where I am going with this…..

It isn’t confirmed yet. I will get the official news tomorrow. But, most likely, the cancer is back. The vet thought she was anemic. She biopsied her lymph nodes and it looked cancerous to her. She called it right the first time and my gut tells me she is right this time to.

I don’t have the emotional wherewithal, the time, or the financial resources to go through treatment again. Plus, when I went down that path, I told myself I would not put either of us through another round.

I am so sad. I am so not ready to loose her. Another year was not enough. She is the best dog. So sweet. A great personality. Max just loves her and lights up when she is around. He laughs when we chase her around the house. I want more years of them growing up together.

If Dr. C is right, and I am sure she is, it will go fast and be only a matter of months. It is a very rapid growing cancer.

I want more time. And, what I want doesn’t matter at all in this.

I’ll talk to the vet tomorrow about options and how to do this in the most humane and least painful way for Lucky. God, I love her so much. I don't want her to go.