RE Release Revoked

Turns out that I wasn’t actually released from my RE this week after all. My progesterone blood draw came back low. It was only 13 and 10 is needed to sustain a pregnancy. It is only a 13 with progesterone supplements of 400 mg (200 mg suppositories twice a day). Mostly, when I hear about other peoples progesterone levels it is in triple digits like over 100 or 232. I was kind of hoping that it was just a different measurement and that the over 100 calculated to 10.0 and the 232 calculated to 23.2, but probably not. I think mine is just really, really low. I am told that the placenta kicks in and starts producing the progesterone around week 9 or 10. Looks like mine hasn’t yet. In the meantime, I stay on the progesterone and test again next week.

I went to the UCLA Medical Bookstore today after my acupuncture appointment and bought 2 OBGYN books. They are general and not pregnancy specific, but should be interesting reading. I treated myself to Jonny Rockets for lunch today (burger, fries, chocolate shake). Hmm. Hmm. Good. It was not quite the pig out that it may seem. I can only tolerate so much food so only a little over half the burger and shake got consumed and only a handful of fries. Yes, seemed quite wasteful, but it did hit the spot. While I was there, I read a chapter or two of one of the books. Interesting reading! Not much that I didn’t know or hadn’t heard yet (I started with the more general book), but it is kind of funny to see what they are teaching the doctors.

The first thing my acupuncturist asked me when she saw me today was if I had lost weight. She said my face looks a lot thinner and my belly is flatter, if you can believe it. I hadn’t noticed either of those, but I have lost weight. I have always suspected that my inability to lose weight in the past was hormonal related. I guess this just reinforces that belief. Plus, evenings are still difficult with not feeling very well and not really wanting to eat anything. I was doing well with not vomiting (almost a week), until last night.

My prenatal vitamins just aren’t sitting very well in my stomach these days. I am/was taking a brand that you take twice a day at about 12 hour intervals for better absorption. I have been taking them for over a year and their regular women’s formula before that with no problem. I just can’t tolerate them any more. The evening/night dosage just comes back up most of the time. Today, while at the pharmacy picking up more progesterone I picked up a one a day brand which I will start tomorrow with hopefully better results. I am trying not to worry about the fact that over the last week or so (right about the time the brain is forming) I have been so low on vitamins or folic acid, but there really isn’t anything I can do about it other than what I have. It is what it is and I am doing the best I can so I am not going to beat myself up about it.

I have noticed that I have a runny nose most evenings, especially those evenings where I am feeling sicker to my stomach. The more drainage and the more runny it is, the more likely I am to puke. I don’t think this is a coincidence. Even though Dr. N said that Sudafed is safe, I don’t want to take it during the first trimester, just in case; and Benadryl just puts me to sleep and going to sleep at 5 or 6 pm would be a really, really bad sleep pattern. It’s funny, even cough drops are not recommended during pregnancy. I picked up a few more packages (I had only bought one as a trial) of those preggy pops while at the pharmacy. I am not sure that they really help with the nausea, but they do help prevent the vomiting and are especially helpful while walking the dogs in the evening. I keep having this fear that I will catch a whiff of something like I did tonight (of my favorite cookie’s baking – chocolate chip) and it will just hit wrong and turn my stomach and I will start gagging and vomit on someone’s lawn. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened yet. I just suck and swallow on that preggy pop until the feeling passes.

I am not complaining. I really don’t mind being tired all the time or not feeling that great. It is pregnancy affirming. I wish I was having an u/s this week again instead of just another blood draw. I think I am going to look into getting one of those fetal heart monitors. I just need a bit more reassurance that everything is going to be okay and that this really will have a good outcome and I really will get a healthy, happy, breathing baby out of this.

I wish I had a laptop computer so I could lay on the couch and keep up better on everything, but I don’t really feel like spending the 2K right now. I don’t really need it. I just want it. On the other hand, I had no problem spending 2K on the drugs for my cancelled IVF (which I am a lot less bitter about since I actually got pregnant with them). Some would argue that I didn’t really need to get pregnant (or be as aggressive as I was in my protocol), I just wanted to. Maybe they would be right, but it felt more like a need to me. I guess it is all about priorities and I would rather save that money for awhile, just in case or to get the house painted or something.

I have started telling a few people. Not many, but a few. After getting released from my RE on Wednesday (or so I thought), my mom convinced me to tell my two sisters who didn’t yet know. Well, actually, she was so exited that she wanted to tell them and I let her. I told my neighbor tonight. He is such a great guy. I was coming back from walking the dogs and he was out front with some buddies and asked me what was up and if everything was okay since he hadn’t seen me around. So, I told him about the pregnancy and not feeling so hot. He was so happy for me and said to holler if I needed anything or had a midnight craving he would be happy to run out for me. He told me this when we first talked about me trying and when I was pregnant the last time so I really think he means it. Isn’t that sweet? I doubt I would ever take him up on it, but it is really nice to know that if I REALLY need something, he will help.

Nothing else really new or exiting. You now have the highlights as boring as they are. Work is still busy. I should work this weekend to try to catch up, but I probably won’t because I just don’t feel like it. It would help if I put in an hour or two of overtime a night during the week, but I am just so tired and feeling so sick in the evenings I just want to give the dogs their evening walk and go lay down. So, I have. I have been terrible about keeping up with friends and family. Too busy during the day and just don’t feel like even talking on the phone at night. So, I haven’t. I have written tons of blogs in my head and think, I should go type that out, but I am just too tired to get up and walk to the other side of the house (and it really isn’t that big of a house) and do it. So, I haven’t.

Basically, it has pretty much all about ME, ME, ME and what I want and don’t want and feel like and don’t feel like.