Thursday, June 22, 2006

Talk about denial

I actually had the thought today that since I haven’t started really bleeding yet and I have been off the progesterone for a few days, that MAYBE the beta was wrong and it wasn’t really dropping and this pregnancy could be viable. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

On a happier note, my kid is just great! He really is a smart kid for one so young and knows how to boost his mommies ego. Not once, but two or three times today, he either started crying for me or started crying when I handed him to the nanny because he wanted to stay with me. I always said that I would be fine if he wanted Naomi instead of me at some point because it would make be feel great about my decision to hire her and the job she is doing. But, I have to say, it REALLY felt great to have that extra love today after this week. My son loves me and wants comfort from me best.

Very tired. Again. Still. Cat woke me up from a solid sleep somewhere in the 4 am hour puking. I didn’t fall asleep until after midnight sometime. Never went back to sleep. Max was up at 5:10 am for good and only took a short morning nap so he was down early. I really need to get to sleep early tonight so my early morning wake up call isn’t quite so painful.

Maybe tomorrow, I will really start bleeding and purge this pregnancy from my body so I can move on. I’m going to be really upset if I miss the July cycle because my beta didn’t drop fast enough. But, I am making back up plans because the way my luck tends to run on the ttc stuff, that is exactly what will happen.

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