I would feel better if….

I was doing so well with that nice, positive attitude (for me :) over the last month. I was really beginning to think this could all work out. Was, being the operative word, of course. I really liked that weekly monitoring over the last 3 weeks. Nice, regular live baby checks. I have no more monitoring until April 22nd. Ugh. I am not sure I can last that long. I would feel a lot better if I could start feeling my uncooperative little tyke kicking or moving around a bit in there. I’ve tried laying down quietly a few times a day and concentrating to see if I slow down I can “feel” it. No such luck. Now, a short whine. [whine begin] Most of the other pregnant women I have read about or talked to have already felt their kids moving by now (19w5d, but whose counting?). Why can’t I feel mine? What is wrong? [whine over]

I am a bit behind on things this year. I just got the last of my Christmas/winter decorations down last weekend (really), but in my own defense, most of it (if you ignored the Christmas cards) was either winter or red/valentine ish, sort of. Anyway, back on point, one of the things I still haven’t done is send back that fetal heart monitor that I rented months ago and only used twice. I have seriously thought about pulling it out and doing a live baby check myself. However, I KNOW I will completely freak out (like my RE predicted) if I can’t get a heartbeat. So, I haven’t.

What I really want to do is lay down and take a nap. However, I must work. I must also get my taxes prepared. Soon. Very soon.

However, what I really, really want/need is to start feeling this little kid doing baby kick boxing or dancing or something.