Baby Cocktails, Jinxes, and More

I served Max up a baby cocktail at 3:30 this morning when he woke up feverish and congested which contained Tylenol, Benadryl, and Mylicon. After sucking that down, he downed about 5 oz. of formula and was back asleep in his crib. His mamma wasn’t so lucky and never really did fall back asleep, but maybe I did doze off because I remember having this really weird dream where I was traveling and I forgot these two ruby and orange colored beads when I was boarding an airplane and these two young girls brought them to me telling me that I had left them. Then, I left them (again) on the plane when I departed and the same two girls brought them to me again. I was thanking them and apologizing for being so forgetful when one of them ask me if I was pregnant. I smiled and said, yes, in fact, I am, I just found out today. The one girl said to the other girl as they were walking away, see, I told you. LOL. I can still picture the beads in my mind and know that they were worthless money wise and that I had never seen them IRL before. Very odd.

I have been thinking of jinxes lately. I was telling someone a few weeks ago that Max never spits up and had only done so twice in 9 months. Right after that, he spit up two days in a row. I commented to someone else that City Boy hadn’t vomited in months and how nice it was. Right after that, he vomited two nights in a row. I posted on the SMC mothering list in response to someone worrying that their infant hadn’t had a BM that Max isn’t regular and had actually gone 14 days at one point without a BM. Some one responded appalled saying that surely that was a typo and my poor child…how could I let him suffer like that. In my response to THAT post saying it wasn’t a typo and how basically Max is a happy easy child but that gas, irregular BM’s are just part of “him” and I have been told it can me normal for some children. In that post, I said that Max has rarely been sick. D@mn it! I should have kept my mouth shut. LOL. Cause now here he is sick. I know. I know. Likely me mentioning these things did not jinx them, but it is kind of coincidental. On the other hand, if just talking about things fixed them, my little one would be a nice regular BM kind of guy, and he just isn’t.

Max’s BM’s and lack there of, are in the front of my mind because Max just screamed and screamed and screamed going down for his nap. He was feverish and gassy and hasn’t had a bowel movement in days. However, he has been sleeping soundly now for hours. On the plus side, I think he is on the mend cause he is eating and drinking a bit more than he was (but still a far cry from normal).

I was thinking this morning while tossing and turning and not being able to go back to sleep after my nice 3:30 am wake up call, that even if this pregnancy fails, I am enjoying it more already than I ever was for my pregnancy with Max. Yes, I am tired and crampy and have already thought once when Max was fussy and crying earlier today “OMG, what have I done by trying to have a second so soon”, but I know that trying to have a second (or third) is the right choice for me. I am at peace in a way I was never able to be in my pregnancy with Max.

Having said that, I am not “counting on” a successful outcome just yet. This beta was the lowest starting beta for me. My beta 13 dpo with Max was 71 compared to 29. I guess I am not too worried about it because I really think implantation likely didn’t occur until June 4th, which would have been later than normal. Now, I do know the stats on late implantation tend to indicate a higher incidence of m/c, but for some reason, I am just not worked up and worried about it. If the pregnancy fails, I will be sad, but will deal with it. For now, I am able to stay present in the moment and enjoy the now. I will be thrilled to be past another milestone on Monday if the beta shows the proper rise. I will be very relieved if we see a heartbeat in a few weeks. But, for now, I am being very un-characteristic for me and enjoying the here and now and what I have today…A beautiful 9.5 month old boy and, at least for now, a sibling on the way for him.

Beta History
Cycle 2 – Result = M/C
Beta 1= 52.16 (16 dpo); Beta 2 = 110.54 (18 dpo); Beta 3 = 155.23 * (22 dpo); Beta 4 = 61.43 (23 dpo); Beta 5 = 12.70 (26 dpo)

* only done because I started spotting and cramping over the weekend indicating a likely m/c

Cycle 4 – Result = Max
Beta 1 = 73 (13 dpo); Beta 2 = 196 (15 dpo)

Cycle 6 – Result = TBD
Beta 1 = 29.6 (13 dpo); Beta 2 = scheduled for 16 dpo