Just really pissed of!

Work is really, really, really pissing me off right now. I’m so pissed that I can’t even concentrate or even be bothered to work at the moment. We have new leaders that are trying to change the focus and intent of our group and are planning on replacing our main boss, presumably because they don’t think he is qualified. And, they want organizations changes and people movement to happen without an f’ing plan or strategy. There is no comprehension that without basic criteria in place for making resourcing decision there can be HR/Legal issues. I actually feel sorry for my boss because he is basically caught in the middle being told 1) execute 2) regardless of what you do we are replacing you. I don’t blame him for being out on vacation all last week and going out again on Friday for another week plus, I don’t. Just make the hard decision that say we are going to cut people and leaders…go find another job…and be done with it. Have a back bone. I’m sure tomorrow will be a better day, but for now. I’m pissed.

And, I decided I can’t be bothered to get a P4 test today and wondering why the hell I ever bought 10 more vials when I am really past thinking that having another bio child is going to happen for me and I am just setting myself up for another year of the sucky ass ttc process.

And, had a major physical battle with Max this morning trying to get him dressed. He didn’t want to and he needs to be dressed and ready by 8:30 on Tuesday’s to make his “class” because it starts at 9 and they won’t let you in late.

And, I asked Noimi to have Max back by 4 ish so that he had time to swim in the pool this afternoon before dinner and she still isn’t back and I know it is because she doesn’t want to get in the pool with him.

Basically, I am just pissed off and everyone and everything at the moment. I really feel like having a nice glass or two or three of alcohol. I’ve got a nice wine fridge of good quality reds sitting there that I haven’t touched this year. And, I’m in another f’ing 2ww so feel like I can’t. Not that I actually think this cycle worked (because again, I think I am just on a long futile path that I can’t stop right now), but if something happened like I got another miracle pregnancy and then either m/c or there were development issues I would never forgive myself..

So, I’ll just be pissed off for awhile and get over it. Not enough time to even go for a work out or hike or something even if I wanted at this point.