Achy Ovaries

Anyone I know who has tried to ttc for any length of time, starts noticing much more about their cycles, when they ovulate, what this twinge or that may or may not mean. This is true of me as well. Dr. Q was amazed a few cycles ago when I called up about cd14 because I could "feel" a follicle there. The entire staff laughed about it. I'm not always right, but I tend to be more right than not these days. Which was why I was kind of surprised yesterday when I went in for baseline u/s and there was no lead follicle like last month. This is probably better news for this cycle since having a follicle grow so fast in a cycle like that especially when on progesterone is not a good thing for egg quality. Dr. Q and I had a whole discussion about that yesterday and then he asked if I had ever wanted to go to medical school and why didn't I become an RE. I had to laugh and explained that as long as it is an intellectual exercise (and self serving) I'm fine, but having to do the procedures and deal with the hormonal patients, no thank you. LOL. He didn't know what to say about that. Anyway, I digress again...where was I?

Yes, achy ovaries. While I was happy I didn't have a follicle growing already (and mostly think Dr. Q is confident enough to see it if it actually was there amid the fat and behind the lunch), I am now left wondering what it was I was feeling instead. I'm a tad worried it may be that scar tissue that Dr. N found during my lap last year. There was a 25% chance it would return with a 1 - 3% chance of conceiving again with my own eggs. The few months before the lap, I kept thinking I would have a cyst and kept being surprised when I didn't. I'll have to pay attention and watch this trend.

Anyway, I am feeling twinges in my right ovary like it may want to try to do something, but it is unlikely. That ovary had done nothing, nadda, zip since October 2004. But, I can feel it a tad. And, I'm feeling my left ovary quite a bit as well. I'm hoping that means this Letrozal/Inj. Combo cycle may actually produce a follicle. Egads, two would be nice, but I'm just hoping it isn't zero. A nice good one is fine with me. Ha Ha, it only takes one.

Normally, when I do injectables, I shoot it into my right hip as it is easier for me to do one handed since I am right handed. I've decided to do them all into my left this time. Hey, I figure get the drugs closer to the ovary that has the best chance of doing something with them. Actually, it is really quite ridiculous since the meds have to make it through the fat into the bloodstream, unlike the p4 suppositories where it does get absorbed by the uterus without getting into the blood. Medically speaking, I don't really know why it works that way with one and not the other, but that is what I have been told.

One of the things I often think about while doing stims, is how I don't really understand how a person can be a drug addict...coming from a person one could say is addicted to cycling. It is expensive, a lot of work, and you have to remember to support that bad habit. I guess there is more of a high from street drugs than from stims. Usually, I just get more wired and less sleep. Even the "mixing" has lost some of its appeal after too much experience/practice, but I refuse to use one of those new fangled cartilages. Not only are they too easy, they are only subQ and I am convinced I need a longer needle closer to the muscle so the meds don't get lost in all the fat. Now, truly, while that probably does help some, my absorption issue is really that my Inhibin B sucks and it is needed to act as a conduit and aid in the absorption. Intellectually, I know this, but still...I will continue to use the longer needles. The nurses just laugh and shake there head at me and order whatever I want. I guess we all have our quirks. Max's are not liking bubbles and crying if we are out driving, pass a freeway on ramp and don't get on. A friend was telling me today about her son's -- rubbing something or putting something between his toes when drinking a bottle or trying to go to sleep. And, mine, using longer needles when shooting up.