Week In Review

I almost can't believe that another whole week has passed. Time is really flying. I'm actually writing this Thursday night from my work laptop while sitting in bed because I felt like getting my thoughts out, but couldn't stand one more minute in my office. As such, it won't be posted until Friday sometime. Really, nothing significant going on, just the minutia of life.

I triggered last Friday night for a Sunday IUI and was so tired that at 9:07 pm I set my alarm for 9:55 because I knew I just couldn't stay away another minute and didn't want to miss it I was back asleep by 10:15.

Saturday, Max boycotted taking Shadow for the first time since he was born. He just threw a royal fit when I put him in the stroller and didn't snap out of it by the time I got a house or two away. Since it was still early 7am ish, I decided not to force the issue turned around. Instead, he used the time to take a nasty fall, biting his lip and getting blood all over me, him, and everything around us. Of course, when it first happened, I didn't know it was just the lip and got a bit freaked. I'm not really squeamish, but the whole blood thing…especially when it is coming from the mouth and through the teeth unnerves me a bit. We ended up taking Shadow with us out to the park for an hour or so before nap time. Then, I spent a good part of the afternoon getting blood out of everything and doing laundry. Ugh.

Sunday, we got up early, I stopped by the bank on the way to the park for our early morning walk to get cash for Noemi this week and found out that I was overdrawn. Damnit! I obviously made a mistake someplace, but haven't found time to fix it. Then, it was the mad rush to get us ready and out the door for my IUI. Then, I dropped a bunch of baby stuff off to a friend who is expecting twins soon and spend the afternoon visiting with another friend who has twins Max's age. Max had no nap (left at 9 am and didn't get home until 4:30 pm) so it was a mad rush to get the dog walked, Max dinner, and to bed early. The funniest and scariest thing that happened on Sunday was in the wind down period before bed, I was talking on the phone to a friend while Max played and the cat came to cuddle for a bit. He was so starved for attention, he even let Max near him and pet him for a bit before he took off. Max, being completely overtired, started to cry and chase him. City Boy took refuge outside through the doggie door and Max went right out after him. It took me about 10 - 20 seconds to realize this happened because I only heard the one "flap", but things got too quiet too fast so I went to investigate. As I got to the kitchen door to go find Max, I hear Max start to cry like he was hurt, but I couldn't find him. Finally, I realize that the sound is coming from the front courtyard and I run across the house to open the front door and Max is standing at the gate that City has just gone under out of reach. The whole thing took less than a minute. Max must have been giving City a run for his money to get around the house that fast. You have to know my house layout to truly appreciate the distance and logistics involved. Thankfully, Max has not attempted to go through the doggie door again.

Monday, I worked all day. Took a short break to spend some time with Max after Noemi left and Max went to bed. Then, I worked for a few more hours on a task long over due and pushed through and completed it even though I was so fricken tired because Max woke up somewhere in the 3 o'clock hour. He fell back to sleep for a bit, but I was just drifting off when hw woke up for good. Big relief to have another big work item hanging over my head from last year done. I escaped work for an hour to go to the eye doctor and found out that I do indeed need reading glasses. Diagnosis - slight stigmatism (eyes not exactly round per the doc when I asked what that meant). The only good news in this is that my insurance is pretty decent and my out of pocket f ore the exam, the lenses, and the frames was only $50. Glasses are not yet ready so I have not started using them.

Tuesday, a friend came over after I put Max to sleep and we watch the State of the Union and various media coverage like the democratic rebuttal that I had taped from an hour or so earlier. Then, we watch a bit of live coverage until we both had enough. So, it was another late night for me after another early morning with Max again waking up exceedingly early. As I was climbing into bed, I realized I hadn't seen the cat in awhile and he usually is around when this friend is over trying to win her over. I find out that he is locked in the garage again. I say again because a week or so ago, he got locked in the garage overnight without me realizing it. To defend myself, the first time it happened, my niece was still living with us and it was common that City would spend the first part of the night with her and then move to my room during the middle of the night so I didn't think anything of it when he wasn't around when I went to sleep. He seems no worse for the experience with the only lasting sign of the ordeal the paper towels I put over the pee in the garage that I have not yet picked up/cleaned up (because I want to wash the cement to get the smell/scent out to discourage "marking" in the future.

Wednesday. Hump Day. Mom came to dinner. I don't really remember much about Wednesday except the ottoman in the living room broke.

Today, Thursday, after a busy morning and early afternoon I played hooky and went to the grocery store since I will soon be out of milk, which is not a good thing. Makes me miss my niece all the more because she was really great about stopping for "the basics" like milk and eggs and such while she was out. My timing was off because I ended up trying to leave the grocery store right as the high school across the street was letting out. PITA! Made a mental note to not do that again. I got home right as Max and Noemi were going to the park. Since Max saw me, there was no way he wanted to leave so we let him play in the car while I unloaded the groceries. Then, he played while Noemi and I got everything put away. Then, Noemi walked Shadow and Max for me while I made dinner (Taco's), returned a few phone calls, ordered refills for some of Shadows meds, and tried to find my cell phone head set/blue tooth ear piece which must have fallen out of my purse at the grocery store. Damnit! I just bought that a month or so when I washed my last cell phone in the laundry. Another $100 gone. Getting back to dinner, I really don't know why I bother actually trying to cook a meal or offer Max a variety because he seems like like what I make in reverse proportion to how much effort I put into it. He took one bite and spit it out. So, Max had a quesadilla and peas instead and I guess I will be having left overs for a day or so. After Max went to bed, I fixed the broken ottoman and the dryer while thinking about how many things have broken or I have lost recently, the most expensive of which is my 1/2 carate diamond earring which still hasn't turned up and my patio table breaking in the wind storm a week or so ago.

Still left to fix is the toilet in my bathroom which started "running" and not filling properly right after my last trip to the hardware store to replace the latch/knob on my front door. Since I haven't had time to get the replacement part and/or fix it, I have had to turn the water off behind the toilet and then turn it back on when I need to flush it. Yes, another PITA (pain in the ass) situation. I also have to try to figure out how to put the cover back on the smoke detector after I replaced the battery a few weeks ago. It really shouldn't be that hard, but apparently, I can change the lock on my door, repair my dryer, fix the broken ottoman, but am incapable of putting a cover on a fire alarm. I best not dwell on that because it pisses me off, but I have been too busy and too frustrated to attempt it again.

Underlying things that have happened that cover the week is that Max is really starting to add new words to his vocabulary. He started saying "ci-ty" for our cat and "sha" for our dog shadow. I've also been thinking about how well he can communicate with his limited vocabulary. More is one of his favorites. Even used when he wants something that he hasn't just had like more phone, more light switch, more football (which can mean he actually wants to watch football or it could just mean that he wants to watch TV in general). However, NO and UP are probably used most often with football and more being in the top 5. I should note that he also calls all of his plethora of balls "football" and he calls basketball hoops footballs, include the two we have inside for him. The other day, I was sitting with Max and he was kind of hugging me (this has actually happened a few times) and he didn't want me sitting there or wanted me to get up and hold him touch something, so he held my shoulders and pulled and said, no, no, no (like no sit) until I got up and figured out what he wanted. For some reason, this week as I look at Max in spite of the lack of sleep that has been more prevalent this week than in quite some time I am just amazed. He is growing and changing so quickly. His face has filled out and changed a bit and he is just so cute and charming. His face is so expressive. He is funny and entertaining and so fun to be around even with the exerting of his will and the tantrums and such. Probably, the biggest problem right now is being a prisoner in my office when he is home during the day with his nanny. I used to be able to come out and say a quick hi and then go back to work. He is in such a mommy phase that it is better for him to not see me.

Another big thing on my mind this week was whether or not I even ovulated even though I triggered because my left ovary was sore enough this week that it could have just been a cyst and not an egg producing follicle. I thought about holding out on taking progesterone and getting a 7 dpo p4 test to see if I even ovulated, but decided to just start the progesterone, not worry about the blood draw since no matter what it said I would likely continue the progesterone until I have a beta that confirms that the cycle was a bust. As I ponder scenarios like this, I just continue to miss Dr. N. I just don't feel like I can email Dr. Q or Dr. A like I could Dr. N. Actually, the fact that the clinic was closed this weekend and I ended up doing the IUI at the sperm bank worked out for the best. Dr. N did every single IUI that I have had so far. I found it much easier to have the nurse practitioner do it at a completely different place than to have it done in the clinic without Dr. N. As I was getting groceries today, I was reminded of my early craving for lobster bisque on the cycle I conceived Max and how a friend said she figured I was pregnant when I told her about it (and that I had it for breakfast right as soon as I got home with it) and it kind of made me sad and happy remembering it at the same time. Yes, I did have a taste for taco's tonight and made them, but after having one, it really didn't taste good. Actually, this has probably been one of the easiest 2 ww that I have had. I mostly have forgotten that I am in even though it is in the back of my mind wondering (if that makes sense), probably since I am greater than 98% sure that it didn't work. The odds were so low given the poor lining, the possibility that it was a cyst, the fact even if it was an egg producing follicle the likelihood of the egg being "good" is incredibly small, etc. But, the chance is better than zero and my ovaries actually did something. Not much, but something. THAT makes me happy.

One of the blogs I have been following must have gone off air this week and a few others I have kept up with in the past have been inactive. While reading one of the few I keep up with that is updated regularly, I linked to a blog and linked to another blog and found Dr. Bitch. I spent several hours I don't have reading past posts about her open marriage, her boyfriend, and such. I ended up spending countless hours I didn't have this week browsing her site. I find her and her blog fascinating and it has made me think in a way I haven't in awhile. I have regretted not having more time as her site has left me wanting to read more, it is like a book I wasn't able to put down. She seems like such an interesting woman who is so completely different from me in thought and action. She is from "academia" which I never realized or even thought about, but what appears to be a strong sub-culture much like the single mom by choice one and the infertility one, but bigger. For the first time ever, I was able to understand what my ex-boy friend said when he didn't think cheating or infidelity was personal. Fidelity and "cheating' were one of the big sticking points in that relationship. Dr. B was able to explain her position in such a way, that I think I "get " it, finally 10 (15? 20?) years later. In addition to the content, her blog has got me wondering whether or not she actually type our Pseudonymous Kid (in reference of her son who seems to be at least 4 - 5 years older than Max) or if her program fills in the word after a few keystrokes and how she doesn't use abbreviations or short hand (must be the teacher in her) that I use and is used prevalently in my work and in the fertility and single mom sites I frequent. And, I am a bit in awe that she physically has time to work in what seems to be an interesting, but challenging job, have a child, a husband, AND a boyfriend when work and Max and trying to keep the house running with the support of nanny has been fried these days. Yes, her work seems to have more flexible hours and her son is older, but still… Anyway, one of the reasons I haven't posted this week is because most of my free computer time was immersed with Dr. B. Unlikely that I will ever be able to totally catch up (she started her blog in 2004, has posted regularly, and her posts tend to be long…yeah, I know….I have a propensity for that as well, but what I have been able to read has me interested and hooked in wanting more. Ugh, just what I need, another time waster, but I feel like I need to fill in the gaps. It is like a story that is unfished, even though I know the end (in that I have read her posts from the beginning of the year) but don't have the history and the story that came before, just snippets, but I'm still left without the whole. Truly a fascinating perspective that is so polar in almost any way to me and my life.
So, that's it, my week. Mostly mundane, somewhat philosophical, very busy, and not much sleep. No big plans for this weekend. Need to do a few errands (pick up meds for Shadow and make a Costco run) but other than that, quiet. I'm looking forward to it since the last few have seem so packed.

TGIF. It has been a long and tiring week.