Feeling Pissed Off

I’m feeling pissed off and it is only Monday. I really do (mostly) like my job, but have been dreaming more and more about being independently wealth (or marrying rich …HAHAHAH) and being able to be a stay at home mom. Hmmm, I know I have said it before, but before Max, I never thought I would feel that way, after having him, I could easily do it and love it.

Last Monday night, I bit the bullet and worked late after I put Max down to get caught up on this task that had been hanging over my head. I got an email today that said the database was corrupted and all data entered within the time frame I did mine, is lost, gone, has to be redone. F’ing pisses me off. I just finally get caught up work wise for a day or two until we actually start delivering the performance reviews for our employees and now I need to find MORE time to go back and do work that not only did I already do, but I did so at personal sacrifice to myself. Yes, while I could be working on it now instead of bitching and moaning about it, I need a day or two to cool off over this. Ugh!

In other news, having a bit of a hard time getting used to the glasses. The big problem is that I have found that I don’t just “read”. I tend to read a bit and then look around, like at the clock across the room which is now blurry. Or, from my work computer, to my home computer, to out the window. This is problematic. And, I get a weird glare (from the lenses). What I have found is that they do magnify things and make them clearer (like they are supposed to) close, but I’m getting headaches from the blurriness caused by looking at other things and tacking them on and off every two minutes is a pain. They seem to work best if I close my eyes, put them on, and open them while only looking at what I want to read. Then, taking then closing my eyes and taking them off before I look anyplace else. But, easier said than done.

Max and I have a very nice weekend. We actually had zero social commitments and didn’t leave the house except to walk the dog twice a day and/or play in the yard (rain, mud puddles, etc.). I didn’t run any errands (although I probably should have). I even hardly talked on the phone. I think we both needed a quiet weekend together. We worked on an art project each day (putting stickers and crayons on a blank sheet of paper), we listened and danced and sang to the CD from the music class he started taking last Monday. It was the first time I had listened to it or that we had listened to it together. I think we both liked it. We played numerous silly games like “It’s raining socks” and “Squish, Squish”…don’t ask, they are made up spur of the moment games. We watched a bit of TV and listened to music.

It dawned on me sometime last week when Max kept asking for Football on the TV, that he maybe only like the background noise so instead of always putting that on, I’ve been putting music on from the cable stations and most of the time, he is fine with that. So, I think I was right, he just wants the noise, which I’m not thrilled with because I don’t particularly like a TV or radio on all the time, but am willing to go with the flow and he is asking for it on less and less since I haven’t restricted it. Hey, I try not to say “no” when I don’t have to because the battles have already started on that and trying to get his way.

The other day he was playing basket ball in the house which involves him picking up a ball, climbing onto the recliner chair and throwing the ball to the hoop. He decided that he was tired of “chasing” his own balls and started pouting to try to get me to do it for him. Oh man, you should have seen it, classic. Made me laugh. I did get it for him that once, but told him that was it and I wasn’t going to chase his balls down for him. He sighed and climbed out of the chair to go fetch his own ball the next time with a sigh.
In fertility related news, I keep forgetting about my progesterone…especially the morning one over the weekend. Sigh. There are whole pockets of time where I completely forget I am in a 2ww and all. I’m moving sperm tomorrow morning to avoid getting charged a storage fee at my sperm bank. And, I have a follow up consultation with Dr. A about next steps/protocol next Saturday. Beta is a week from today.

Okay, not feeling quite so pissed about the work thing, but not going to do it for another day or two on a matter of principle and let them complain about it not being done. I dare them.