cd 40

Today is officially cycle day 40 in the bad cycle that will just never end. Dropped off blood at the lab to check progesterone level. Bypassed RE’s and went straight to nurse coordinator for lab slip. Best case scenario is that I ovulated New Years weekend. Worse case scenario is that my cycle is just royal fucked up. Of course, if I ovulated, I will be having my period while on my business trip next week. Nice. However, probably things are just fucked up and I will never cycle again.

Work extremely busy as am paying for not getting things done last year like I should have. A tad stressed. Okay, more than a tad. Eating way to much chocolate that I never should have bought in the first place.

And, fucking high winds forever here lately day after day after day. It is ridiculous. However, now it is more than annoying as it blew over my patio table today and broke the glass. I guess I will be trying to deal with that tonight in the dark after Max goes to sleep before I start working again.

Decided on the way to donate blood to the ttc cause that anything cycle related will likely put me in bad mood lately. Still miss Dr. N. A lot.

Feeling sorry for myself at the moment like no one cares. I know, I know. Not true. Hey, emotions don’t have to be reality based.

Okay, eating last piece of chocolate for the day (I swear) and back to work. Blah!

I have never, ever had irregular periods whether I ovulated or not. Since my very first period way back when. Cd40! 40!! 4….0…. I’m depressed enough that I think I need one more piece of chocolate. Okay, I don’t NEED one more piece as in who ever really needs chocolate. But, think I am going to have one so then I can just add lack of self control, being fat, and body issues to things to feel badly about.