Forks and Praise

I’d like to talk about forks today. As I tell Max, forks are eating utensils. LOL. Yes, I really do tell him that just like I tell him spoons and chop sticks are eating utensils. I’m sure that I do talk down or baby talk to him sometimes, but I really try not to.

Max has started using a fork, a “real” one, the last few days. By “real” I mean a salad fork out of a normal place setting that has “sharp” pointy teeth on it. I have been offering him a fork or spoon depending on the meal on and off for a month or two now, but he really “got it” a few days ago… Saturday evening, if I remember correctly, because I gave him half a piece of birthday cake for dessert from the birthday party that we attended that afternoon, but left early as they were eating cake (as all the other kids were 3 or almost 3 and able to nicely sit around the table, Max was starting to get over stimulated, and it was time to get home and walk Shadow, have dinner, do the evening wind down routine). Anyway, Max was able to scoop up the cake as it easily stuck to the fork and get it into his mouth…for the first time. This was encouraged by me yelling “Bravo, Bravo, my son, well done. That’s exactly how you use a fork.” while I was clapping. Since Max is a total ham and will do just about anything for encouragement and praise, he kept doing it, getting more praise. Then, his cousin came out and added to the praise, much to his smiley delight and he had to show her how he could use the fork and she added to the clapping and verbal praise.

He can’t always get the food on the fork so either I will help him by “loading” it or he will pick up some food, put it on the fork with his fingers, then eat it. Very funny. He has started to put the food and fork near his mouth or just in his mouth without actually taking the food off while looking at you to see if THAT will get praise too in kind of a teasing fashion. Gosh this kid just makes me laugh. At such an early age, I can tell he has a good sense of humor and fun. And, yes, has to test, test, test every last thing. LOL.

Anyway, since my flight was cancelled, I got home yesterday as Max was eating breakfast and was signing “more”. Since I hadn’t yet had breakfast, I made some eggs for us* and gave him a fork to use. Noemi seemed a bit worried about this and took out one of the plastic kid forks we have and told me that these were “better” for the baby. I just smiled and told her that they aren’t as sharp and he can’t get the food as easily on them and reassured her that I only gave him the “real” forks when I was sitting with him watching him to make sure he didn’t puncture an eye or severely injure himself. I had to laugh and it reminded me of a conversation I had in Target a few months ago with a mom who was complaining that they only made decent metal spoons (or something like that) for kids and she couldn’t find any decent metal forks. I just nodded and wished her luck in her search because she also seemed horrified with the idea of giving a kid (and hers were several years older than Max by the looks of them) a regular fork.

I guess it is just me, but with proper supervision, I think it helps and it is easier to use. The whole thing just makes me smile. It’s not that I want Max to grow up too fast, but I also don’t want to baby him. Within the last week, he has been “ready” to use eating utensils (my friend said he was using a spoon while eating lunch at the baby shower we hosted on Sunday, but I didn’t see him) and I am just encouraging him and coaching him, which is what I think my job is as a parent. And, we both have fun with it. You should see his face light up when I praise him with “Bravo” for eating with a fork or “Wahoo” when making a basket or “Thank you for making beautiful music for your momma” when he plays the piano. He gets this big ole smile on his face, and of course, wants to do it again, and again, and again. If there is more than one person around, he will look to make sure everyone is watching and praising him.

Some times, he will be doing something he feels especially proud of and will start clapping for himself and look at you until you start clapping as well. Or, if I just give the verbal praise, but don’t clap, he will start clapping (even if it means putting down the fork or ball or whatever) to do so. Very, very funny.

I just love seeing him grow and develop. He is already growing up so fast. I try to remember to cherish the small moments now even as I can’t help but wonder what kind of boy, teenager, and man he will become.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are many things about this stage that can be annoying like his new found fondness for being held to go along with the ‘up, up, up, up, up” that he follows you around saying until you do pick him up. It’s not so much that I mind except that he doesn’t really want to be held for mommy cuddles, he just wants access to more things like the buttons on the new VCR/DVD player Santa brought me for Christmas, or the basketball hoop that his Aunt Kris got him for Christmas, or the light switch so he can turn it on and off and on and off. And, I tire of these “games” much quicker than he does. Unless I have something really pressing to do, I try to reach my limit, then push myself to double it, and then double it again before putting him down while subtly trying to get him interested in something else or blatantly pushing him towards a new activity. **

Anyway, just thought I would share a new Max milestone since it has been on my mind and we have been having fun at mealtime with it.


* When I made the eggs, Noemi told me that he already had 4 waffles (small ones that amount to smaller than a piece of toast) and some fruit. She was shocked when I told her he could easily eat 8 or 9 and saw him eat what amounted to almost 2 eggs, a half piece of toast, and 2 small lil’ smokey sausages in addition to what she gave him. He may be skinny, but the kid can and does eat, unless he is not feeling well or is going through a non-eating phase which does happen about every 6 weeks or so.

** Like when we were at the Birthday party on Saturday and Max was in the kid room with just one other kids, who was at least a year or two older than Max was and who kept taking all the “balls” way from Max. After a few times of referring this, it was getting old and I said in a really happy upbeat voice, “Hey, Max, look what’s going on in this room over here. Let’s go see what the kids are doing over here.” as I walked out of the room with Max following behind me to see what he may be missing out on. The best part was the dad who was also in the room with his son (the one taking the toys away) who had been wanting to get out of that room but his son wouldn’t leave asking, “does that really work?” and tried it with his son and it did. LOL.