Just another day

Just another day with highs and lows and everything in between.

The babes are improving and stabilizing every day. They were both taken off the bili lights today. This means I actually get to see their heads and faces.* I can't tell you how nice that is. Got to hold Ray for a long time again today. I can become addicted to that and try to balance the time and not neglect Nora. I can't wait until I can hold her as well.

I finally talked to my disability claims manager who said no way can authorize more than 8 weeks which puts my go back to work date at August 6th. The babies will either not even be home yet or just home. No way will that work. I said, fine, put me back to work now so I can have time after when they are home. She said, no can do, the time is for your recovery of the c-section, not to take care of the babes. I got (understandably, in my own mind) upset over this. She said, it sounds like your under a lot of stress (you think?) But, basically was saying "take the stress leave angle", which really is the bottom line truth of it. So, I got myself into that system. Need to write an email to my bosses giving them and update, telling them that is my plan and if it doesn't work I'm hoping they can work with me somehow because really, a mom deserves that time with her babies, especially after having to wait so long to have them home. But, I'm not up to writing that right now.

Max was up at 4:30 am this morning, which means I was up at 4:30 am this morning. And, that he was awake when I pumped this morning. Of everything, this seems to bother him the most. Today's behavioral issue was throwing all the bottled water from the cupboard onto the floor, coming to tell me about it, and asking me if I wanted to see it. I told him after I finished. Then, had to get him to clean it up "In our family, we clean up after ourselves when we make a mess; I'd like to do something fun with you, but you need to clean up your mess first; Max, please clean up your mess." and other such tactics were used until he eventually did it. I so didn't feel like the battle, but can't afford to let him get away with that behavior or have it escalate. I left the hospital a bit earlier than I have been to spend a bit of extra time with him. I'm trying to give him as much direct attention as possible (as in my complete focus with no phone, email, computer, mail, etc) when I am with him.

A friend stopped by the hospital a bit and dropped off a nursing shirt and more importantly 2 pumping bra's so I can go hands free (Thanks M! They fit/work perfect, just perfect). I can't tell you how much nicer that is. I can eat and more importantly drink water or make phone calls or browse the internet or check email. The quality of my life improved significantly today as a result of these handy dandy bra's. I can't even tell you. I actually have pumped 5 - 10 minutes longer than my normal 20 minutes because I wanted to finish what I was doing before disassembling and detaching from the pump.

One more pump session that I'm counting the clock for and then it is beddy bye time for me. I'm ready now.

* The nurses cover the isolettes (the plastic boxes the babes are in to control temperature and filter noise making it more of a womb like atmosphere) with blankets with the bili lights off. I got permission to bring in two lovely home made quilts that a friend just gave me to put over them. Way nicer than the generic hospital fare. Thanks again, A, there getting put to good use already.