Still on cloud9

I'm just still so happy and overwhelmed with joy and a bit in disbelief that in spite of it all, this cycle has appeared to work. There is still just a tad bit of worry that it is too good to be true and that the other shoe could drop, but that part is just very, very small. In fact, it really has been difficult for me to not just shout my news from the mountain tops and tell all who will listen, whether or not they care, that I'm pregnant. But, I know that it is still too early for all of that for many, many reasons. However, having said all of that, I was able to appreciate the sheer joy of finding out and feeling much more sure of things and enjoying it more already than I ever did or could with my pregnancy with Max. Coming off a m/c, and cramping and bleeding on and off my entire first trimester, did take a toll. The beta number was high enough and the eggs young enough that while I know m/c is a possibility, I'm not as worried about it. I just feel really good and peaceful about it all. At least for now, no regrets that I won't have a genetic connection to this child/children, just so thrilled that I really will get to build my family and have another.

Now that I've seen the beta number, and gone to elaborate planning lengths to try to avoid twins, I just have a very strong feeling that it is, to the point I may actually be a tad disappointed if its not. Like it is just my fate, my destiny, and as hard and crazy and completely life altering as it may be, it is just meant to be. Oh time will tell. Like most things time will tell.

The truth is I'll be happy whatever I've got at this point...single or twins or boy or girl or any combination. Nina's predicting single boy. Anyone else want to put a stake in the ground? However, while I'll be happy with whatever is there, I know that 2 - 3 all boys would be easiest, already have names picked out (probably) for g/b twins (Nora and Rami, in memory of my late RE, names I will likely use with a singleton of either sex as well), and twin girls would really rock my world.

The projected due date is August 28, 2008. Can you believe that I had not even calculated that until a friend ask?

I have vowed and really need to focus on work today since, despite my best of intentions, it just didn't happen yesterday afternoon or night. I'm going to do my best, as the people on my team deserve that I put my best foot forward while working on what I'm working, but it is going to be hard.

Now, the wait for tomorrows beta and the bigger wait for the u/s. And, I really need to come off of cloud 9 to remember really important stuff like looking at my calendar and taking my meds within a few hours of on-schedule. I completely forgot last night and if a friend wouldn't have called late, I'm not sure I would have remembered until today. And, since E2V and P4 were on the docket last night, that would not have been good.

As such, the word of the day is FOCUS. Focus, focus, focus on what is important. My heart can still be on cloud 9, but my head better get it in gear.