Retail Theraypy and more

I made an impulse buy/did some retail therapy last night. As soon as it takes to process the order and ship, I'll be the proud new owner of this camera and accessories. I'm feeling even more happy about it this morning. No buyer remorse here.

I also wanted to do a heart felt thanks to my SMC posse (including my one friend who is no longer technically an SMC after she got married...gosh it is coming up on two years now?...but, who I always still think of as an SMC). It really is the best group of friends and people a girl could ever want in her life. I appreciate the calls and emails and moral support more than you could know. Thank you!

If I'm not around much this next week and a half (and I SHOULDN'T be, but probably will cause I'm like that), it isn't because I'm home wallowing in depression and despair. I just really, really, really have a lot of work to do right now. It HAS to get done. And, I have plans to be out on vacation the 21st to the 2nd that I don't want to cancel or have to worry about work while out. So, I plan to work my butt off every night after Max goes to bed and before he wakes up in the morning to make progress. Now, I actually tried this last night (and ended up doing my retail therapy) because the system/application I needed was brought down for maintenance. I hope that is not a nightly occurrence, cause otherwise I'm in big trouble and yet another plan will have to be rethought. And, what the hell is my son awake at 5 am for today? I can't remember the last time that happened. Looks like he is also sabotaging this extra work thing. Hmm, maybe he will fall back to sleep.

In regards the my cycle, I did pretty much by the rules, the first 14 or so hours of the stricked 24 hours of bed rest. Then, I have been up and about, but taking it easy. The furthest I got from the house was to my mailbox. And, my house is only just under 1400 square feet so I'm pretty contained. I thought about keeping my work laptop and phone on my bed and just working from there, but I'm much more comfortable and it is so much easier just working in my office at my desk. I'm f,ine and have no issues or concerns with my activity level in support of this cycle. That being said, it seems like my cough is getting worse. I'm sure it just seems that way. Every time I cough I'm worrying about one of those little embryos trying to nestle in and getting jostled around and then take a deep breath and remind myself how insulated that uterus really is. It is a safe haven and I'm sure it is fine (if I tell myself that enough times maybe I'll stop the mild worry). But, I may have to make a trip out to the store/pharmacy today for more cough drops...just for more peace of mind.

My ute is continuing to "talk" to me and remind me that it is there and I really am in a 2ww. Last night, as I was falling asleep, I was feeling hopeful and excited and was thinking "At least the chance isn't zero. There is a chance. It could work." When I first started the ttc process, I found the 2ww's agonizing. In fact, it was on my second one, that I was obsessively browsing and researching on the internet when I got tied into my wonderful SMC network. Now, because of the hard ttc path I have had and how my ovaries are so done and not responding and the fear of never having another child, any time I had a follicle that looked good enough for an IUI, I was there. As long as the odds aren't zero, there is a chance. Just the fact that there is a chance, that I could be, that is enough for now.

Next week will tell the tale, but for now. I'm living life and getting done what I have to get done to have the vacation and holiday I want. And, hoping and praying that once again, against the odds, I get another miracle or two.