The details

Now that I'm over the trauma of yesterday, I'm calm enough to post some of the gory details. And, it's not all bad. It just wasn't "the plan". It wasn't even close to the plan. I was expecting to have 15 stellar high quality embryos to choose from and able to freeze for later use.

The three transfered:
Egg #14 - Day 3 = 7 cell, grade1, GES100; Day 5 Expanded/Blast, grade 2, HLA-G =4.4
Egg #6 - Day 3 = 8 cell, grade1, GES 100; Day 5 Expanded/Blast, grade 3, HLA-G= 3.4
Egg #12 - Day 3 = 7 cell, grade 1, GES 100; Day 5 Expanded/Blast, grade 3, HLA-G=3.5

The two (humor) freezes:
Egg#10 - Day 3 = 9 cell, grade 2, GES 85; Day 5 Expanded/Blast, grade 3, HLA-G=4
Egg#18 - Day 3 = 9 cell, grade 2, GES 85; Day 5 Expanded/Blast, grade 3, HLA-G=2.5

Where grade 1 is the highest and grade 3 is the lowest. By day 5, I had ZERO grade 1's and only 1 grade 2. Grade has to do with the shape of the cells and the fragmentation.

The HLA-G has to do with the embryo marker test that I paid extra for, but probably could have saved my money. I'm not really clear on how it works, but think a score between 2 and 16 is good and indicates a higher chance of success with that egg. Interestingly enough, the egg with the lowest SLA-G of .72 was the only one with a Day 5 Stage 'dead'.

The Day 5 stages are from worst to best dead; cleaved (still alive, but didn't grow since day 3/still at day 3 stage); compacted (still alive, but in a day 4 stage on day 5); non-expanded (on day 5, grew, but didn't make it to blast?); expanded/blasts.

So, basically, I transfered 3 blasts of dubious quality and I'm hoping the ugly embryos turn into beautiful children.

At this point, I'm not sure what I'm hoping for most a singleton pregnancy or twins even as I know how much twins would rock my world and complicate thing exponentially. If it ends up as a twin pregnancy, I really will laugh my ass off because of the lengths I went to prevent twins and know that fate is what it is, it was just meant to be.

I can't even contemplate all three making it for trips. I think the possibility is so small it is not something I'm even going to worry about unless it comes to fruition.

It goes with out saying that the worst outcome would be a negative. I'm not making any definitive plans, but am pretty sure I will not do another fresh. I'll probably do an FET as soon as possible just to make sure those 2 frozen really don't won't make it, then just go in month after month for an IUI any time I have a follicle growing until I run out of sperm. I think I have something like 10 vials left since I just stocked up before decided to go donor. Then, I'd just be done, finished, fried, know it just wasn't meant to be.

It's not all bad. My e2 is finally decent. It was 8oo something from Saturday and 668 yesterday so we are sticking with the 10mg = .5 E2V. My progesterone was 24.9 which I think is my highest recorded progesterone ever and that was before adding in 200 mg per my calendar tonight. I've been feeling lots of twings and twangs and "bloat" down there all day/since yesterday and I've been down the ttc path long enough that it probably means jack shit, but has me hoping against hoping that I've got a little baby in the making setting up its placenta network. The RE gave me a loose 50/50 shot of this cycle working transferring three. I'm hoping against all hopes that I land into the right 50% this time.

Please God. Pretty please. With sugar and honey and every thing nice. Please let this be the best 50K I've ever spent instead of the biggest loosing gamble. Win or loose, no regrets. If I had to do it all over again, I would make the same choices. I know in my heart of hearts this was the path I was meant to take.