Truth

Really, often truth can be stranger than fiction. I find it incredibly ironic and amusing that the NICU staff who control (or have controlled) the whole of my babies lives in their hands for far too long can't and don't trim babies nails because of the liability. They can and do determine how they breath, when they eat, when I can and can not hold them, whether I can breastfeed (or attempt it or not) and for how long, but they don't trim nails...because it is considered cosmetic...even though if not done, they can gash themselves and poke out an eye or something. Okay, that poke out an eye is an exaggeration, but babies sharp nails hurt. So, I dutifully brought in nail trimmers and cut Ms. N's nails yesterday while she slept to the praise and delight of the nurse and doc. Go figure.

What I am doing right now....pumping. What I really, really, really want to be doing....sleeping.

I have never ever been fond of being up in the 4 am hour, especially when it likely means no more sleep for me for the day, but soldering on I am....but, I don't have to like it.

At bedtime last night, I talked to Max about how he could come into my room at any time if he really needed be, but if he waited until the first number on the clock was a 6 I would actually be happy to see him. Yes, I know, nice mommy. I told you, yesterday was filled with some not so nice mommy moments, but hey...it is the truth. I figure the strategy probably won't work, but if it does...oh my, a bit more sleep in these early hours would help some.

And, I forgot to mention in my complain post of yesterday because I ran out of time (and not sure if it actually made any sense or not), that I can't find the damn remote control for the TV in my room. I can't tell you how irritating that is as I have to be up with no hands available for things like browsing a computer so many times during the night. It has to be here some place. I have no proof, but I'm blaming the disappearance on the boy. The older one. He's guilty until proven otherwise.