There and back

To the hospital, and hell. If I ever see another human being, let alone one of my children as blue as Nora was at one point when I was there, it will be far, far, far to soon. I've never prayed as hard as I prayed tonight as 6 people (two respiratory therapists, the three nurses in room D, and the charge nurse) try to bring my baby back up and keep her alive. Apparently, she pulled the respirator tube out. Scary stuff that. I can't even describe how scary that was. Basically, I got no knew information from going from a medical stand point, but I did get to see my precious babies. I'm sure that both of them knew I was there. Ray nestled in for a nice rest the first time I held him. Then, fluttered his eyes at me and gave me a big smile when I was giving him his bottle and he saw that it was me. Nora also fluttered her eyes at me, but more a pleading look letting me know how miserable and sick she was and how she does not want that tube down her and into her lungs no matter how much she needs it. Not being able to "fix it" for her was so darn hard. The docs I talked to today both assured me that she will be fine. The nurses tonight were not so sure if I read things correctly. I'll be hoping and praying that the docs are right and she does rebound from this. There is no doubt in my mind at this moment that she needs the assistance breathing to live and she could not be doing it on her own. After her little melt down, they did an chest x-ray and both the RT and charge nurse said that it looked fine/perfect. There is so much of this I just don't understand from a medical and spiritual perspective. For the praying among you, please pray for my little girl. She can use all the medical and prayer help she can get right now. She's really sick. Much sicker than last time and I thought she was pretty sick then. Please God, please....let my little girl rebound from this no worse for the experience.