Mr. Anti-social -- NOT

Yesterday, I commented that Max was anti-social and it has been bugging me ever since. I don't really think that Max is anti-social. He is less social than some kids and he is more social in some situations than others. Yes, yesterday, when we were at a party of twin 2 year old boys, he spent more time playing with the sliding screen door than the birthday boys or anyone else for that matter. However, he really wanted to play with their 5 year old brother and his friend and the more rough and dangerous the play, the more he wanted part of it. The older boys took a see-saw plastic rocker into one of the wading pools and Max glommed onto that situation before I could blink. They, of course, wanted nothing to do with him. Yesterday afternoon, he was a less social than normal, but he also hasn't taken a nap 3 out of the last 4 days and the one day he did nap it was short. I knew this was coming when he had 4 hour naps 3 - 4 days last week. It is part of his cycle, be it a growth cycle, teething (he has at least 2 if not 4 new teeth in, hard to tell as he refuses to let me get a good look).

Plus, playing with sliding doors and figuring out how things work is just part of his personality. He has spent countless hours playing with the sliding glass door and screen in my room commenting the other day "rail ro twacks" as he pointed to the track of the door. I was impressed and explained that those were tracks, but sliding glass door tracks, not rail road tracks. He nodded and has called them twacks ever since. I couldn't tell you how many hours he spent playing with the lounge chairs in the back yard figuring how they sit up and down.

Yesterday morning, we went to a park with the dogs before stopping by the train station to catch the 8:15 and 8:35 trains. We have been going to this park since right after Lucky died and I would walk Max in the Bjorn and then the stroller. Max loves this park because it has lots of dogs with nice owners as well as a train that goes through the mountains that can be seen by the park. I got Max out of the car and he took off to the group of people/adults and dogs that have known him since he was a baby. Talking up a storm talking about the trains and the dogs and heaven knows what else in excited chit chat. Completely social and comfortable and sure of himself.

When we were at the train depot, he walked right up to lady and started talking to her about the trains. In the same excited and confident manner. Apparently, he has done this before to her a few weeks ago (she remembered Max/us, but I didn't remember her). He did the same thing to another lady today. A few weeks ago, he did this to a couple, but it was more directed to the man.

When we are at travel town, he will pretty much talk to whoever will listen about the twains. Cho cho. It's coming. Bye, bye cho cho.

Heck, Max was hugging/laying next to Shadow today telling her all about the choo choo twains and the rail ro twacks. I had to smile.

I've been watching Max's behavior pretty closely when out with him for the last few months after the many conversations with his teacher in his gym class and a call from his mommy and me teacher recommending he come to the Tuesday class as well.
I had a really great conversation with his mommy and me teacher that I'm not sure I posted about or just thought about posting about. And, I moved him from the gym class to My Gym. In both cases, he has started doing the blasted circle time that I was so sick of hearing about him not doing...not sick of him not doing, just sick of people worrying about him not doing it when I just didn't think he was ready and he would when he was and he has.

Some of the things I have observed is that Max is more wary and I'll say shy around kids, especially groups of kids or if lots of people are around in a party setting. He does better in smaller groups or if there is only one or two other children around. And, he would rather play up. Given the choice, he would rather play with someone who is older than he is than the same age or younger. In a way, I can't blame him, because other kids can be mean..either on purpose to show off for older kids or inadvertently with younger kids. They want what you want. They take the toy you were playing with. They won't give you the toy you want that they are playing with. Since he doesn't have a sibling, he doesn't have to work that out on a hourly and daily basis. And, when there are lots of kids around, I think it can be a bit overwhelming for him.

I'm not really worried about Max's social skills or lack there of at this point other than trying to decide whether it would be better for him to leave him with Noemi for another year or go to a day care situation where he will get more interaction every day with children his own age. I'm leaning towards and think I have decided (unless I find some really great pre-school that takes kids early that I feel he must attend) to not make a change right now. I was already thinking about that and talking with Max's mommy and me teacher reinforced that for me. Why place him in a situation that could stress him out and cause him to withdraw (and pick up bad habits from the other kids) when I don't need to. He is still so young.

I think he forgets to be shy when excited about something of great interest to him like trains, dogs, and cats...or party balloons. But, otherwise, he would rather watch and observe and take it all in and figure out how things work.

One of my other observations has been that I'm Max's favorite person and he trusts me implicitly. If I'm around, he would rather be with me and have my attention. He's not annoying or demanding of it, although he has picked up somewhere recently "watch me, watch me mommy". Nanna (my mom) is his second favorite person. Noemi currently comes in third. There will be a time all to soon when I'll move down on the ladder. It is inevitable. So, I'm trying to enjoy it and appreciate it while I can.

I get to see the absolute best of Max -- how charming and fun and funny and smart he is. I get to see a side of Max that no one else gets to see. I wasn't counting or hadn't realized that part of motherhood. I just never realized that Max would be so different for me than others until was pointed out. Of course, the flip side is that I also get to see the worst of Max, but the worst is really not that bad. He is a great kid and I'm still in awe of how lucky I am to have him in my life...even on a day when I was so tired I couldn't see straight and he refused to nap.

Anyway, really, I think Max is fine. He's not anti-social. He's a bit shy. I was shy as a child. I turned out okay and I think he will too.

All's good.