Stimulants

I can’t remember the last time I had caffeine. I wasn’t hard for me to give up while ttc and/or pregnant because I didn’t drink it very often anyway. It amps me up too much. If I would have even a small amount after 1 or 2 pm, I would have trouble sleeping.

I will almost never have dessert or something sweet after dinner or even late afternoon. If I am going to partake, I will do so in the morning or early afternoon. I get a little too much of a sugar high and it causes me to have trouble sleeping. Not as badly as caffeine, but enough for me to notice.

Even with Tylenol PM, I have only slept 4 – 5 hours since I started the stims for this cycle. I had forgotten how badly I react to them. They seem to stim not only my ovaries, but my bowels and my entire body. I lay down to sleep and can feel the blood speeding through my veins. I can’t relax. It is not really an anxious feeling and I don’t actually get the shakes, but it is similar. I just can’t sleep. I forgot how much it affected me and how much I don’t like that feeling.

In my previous cycles, I did acupuncture to help counter balance the affect. I just can not fit acu trips in my schedule right now. And, I am feeling it. I am so tired, I can’t see straight and can only think about sleeping. Plus, I feel like crap and think I am getting the cold Max just got over. However, it could also be part of my reaction to the meds because I remember my acu telling me that I say that I don’t feel well and think I am coming down with something every time I stim.

In general, I am a pretty crappy sleeper. Maybe that is why having an infant doesn’t really seem that hard to me most days. I am used to lack of sleep. Actually, on average I am pretty sure that I get more sleep post Max than pre Max.

However, I am feeling it today, baby. And, as tired as I am right now, once I inject myself tonight, I will lay there wired and not be able to sleep.

While I am complaining, I am also getting this really big zit right in the middle of my chin and it hurts.

I really had better get pregnant this cycle to make up for how badly I feel. I know. I know. There is no justice in the ttc process. There is no consideration for pain and suffering, financial and/or emotional expense. Only if there is a good enough egg and a good enough sperm that join to form and healthy enough embryo.

Still, I can hope and pray over here that my round 2 ttc journey is faster, less painful, and less money than my first round, can’t I?

On the bright side, I am so glad I tested my FSH and E2. My FSH was better this cycle than in 2004.

Date 4/5/04 5/16/06
FSH 6.5 5.5
E3 31 48

Not bad for an overweight, sleep deprived, advanced maternal age, over 40 gal.

Have I mentioned how tired and crappy I am feeling? Oh, I have?