Feeling Blue

While blue is my favorite color, I don't especially like feeling this way. Just tired, drained, and hormonal...maybe even a tad depressed. Max is getting caught up on his sleep now that we are back to the crib*, but I'm still a bit short and getting broken sleep as he woke up a few times last night crying all but once he settled himself, but it still woke me up and took me awhile to settle back down.

Anyway, not much to say. I'm wondering if my left tube is closed from scar tissue from my last surgery, but not sure I want to bother to have it checked at this point. I think this because when Max sits on that side, it hurts. I've thought about calling and setting up a consult with another RE, but have decided that nothing he has to say will give me hope of a successful cycle with my own eggs. I'm thinking about DE, but can't seem to even any basic research like finding out the cycle dates in Nov. and Dec., making sure they will let me into the two cycle plan if I only want to transfer 1 embryo since it comes with included FET's for a year and is supposed to be a shared risk, let along figure out how to pay for it when money seems tight enough as it is right now or picking out a donor.

Really, I just want to cry. Like I said, blue is fine for color, but not so hot for a mood. And, my stupid Ice Road Trucker's series has come to an end so I have no mindless TV show to watch and no other mindless TV is all that appealing at the moment.


* To the commenter about the door handle cover to elevate night wanderings or leaving the room....the problem with that solution is that Max's door isn't hung properly and doesn't actually latch. This is a pain in more ways than one, like Shadow will just barge on in when the door is closed. Nikki, our foster dog, is way to polite for that and will never enter unless given permission. I wish I could break her of that and get her to use the doggie door. So, in order to use that solution, I would have a major project on my hands to fix his door, which should be done, but is low on my priority list.