Not the only one

Apparently, I am not the only one who thought that nursery rhymes were a tad morbid. My sister found this book the other day called “Positively Mother Goose”, by Diane Loomans, Karen Kolberg, and Julia Loomans. It is very funny.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary
Old Version –Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And pretty maids all in a row.

New Version – Mary, Mary, extraordinary,
How does your garden grow?
“Good thoughts are the power
That makes my mind flower;
Good deeds are the seeds that I sow.

Little Miss Muffit
Old Version -
Little Miss Muffit sat on a tuffet,
Eatng her curds and whey;
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her,
And scared Miss Muffit away.

New Version
Little Miss Muffit sat on a tuffet,
Eatng her curds and whey;
Along came a spider, who sat down beside her,
And brightened Miss Muffit’s whole day.

I could go on and on. The fork no longer runs away with the spoon. It is a bold woman (not an old woman) who lived in the shoe (and she knew just what to do). The bed bugs no longer bite. It is a big hug and a kiss good night. The bough no longer breaks and the cradle doesn’t fall. Instead, Birds and Squirrels will be at play.

I love it. It is my new favorite book. Very funny.

One that isn’t in the book that I made up awhile ago that my sister thought was funny was my version of BaBa Black Sheep.

Ba Ba Black Sheep have you any wool.
Yes sir, Yes sir, three bags full.
One for the mamma, two for the aunt, three for the little boy named Max.
Ba Ba Black Sheep have you any wool.
Yes sir, Yes sir, three bags full.