I had a nap

I had a nap today, which is why I am wide awake and not even close to tired at 9:30 in the evening. The funny thing is that at the time, I didn’t really think I slept. Just rested. Until I saw that there was a phone message left during the time I was “resting” and I never heard the phone. LOL.

Max slept 6.5 hours in his crib last night. Just to set the record straight, there is a converse relationship. The longer he sleeps in his crib, the less I sleep. Because I must get up and check the monitor a few times to make sure it is on and working. I must get up and walk across the other side of the house a few times to peek into the crib and make sure he is still there and still breathing. I have forbidden myself from going and getting him if he hasn’t woken up. I’m giving myself tough love. By 3 am last night, I just turned on the light and read a bit of the current book I am reading. Can’t remember the exact title at the moment. Something like…The curious incident of the murdered dog. Actually a pretty good book so far, but different. I have found that on the nights that read it before bed, I sleep a bit worse. I’m like that with books. Anything, really. I need to be careful with what I do before bed (read, watch TV, etc.). It creeps into my subconscious, my psyche. So, while it is good that Max is making such a good adjustment. His momma is having a harder time with it. Until further notice, when I say that Max slept in his crib four hours, know that I had a halfway decent night sleep. If I say he slept 6-8 hours in his crib (although 7 hours is the longest so far), know that it was probably pretty crappy.

Max actually fell asleep early. Around 7 pm. Then woke up about 45 min. later. Had a snack…or soothed himself…and fell back to sleep around 8. This always makes me a bit nervous, especially since I didn’t go to bed after him. Typically, I am asleep within an hour after he is and he is awake about 20 – 30 min. after I get up. On the other hand, it was nice to have some time to straighten up a bit.

The house was pretty much spotless when Naomi left on Friday. I managed to make a huge mess from last night to tonight and I wasn’t even home much. But, I got this http://www.bumboseat.com/ in the mail. Which meant the manufacturing box and the shipping box, plus the bumbo seat itself, not to mention the instruction sheet/paperwork that came with it were sitting on the kitchen table and counter. Then, I had the new high chair which had to be taken apart and cleaned with all the various parts on the kitchen table or the counter. Then, I went to target and got diapers, and prunes, and dog treats, etc. which were all sitting on the counter. And, I had Shadows meds refilled today, so they were piled on the counter. Plus, all the dishes from yesterday including Max’s cereal that didn’t get eaten last night because the nice firm spoon was better. All of this was piled high on the counter and thrown about. It is picked up now. Much better.

I was thinking last night about bad habits. This was before 3 am, when I decided to read. I’m trying to break me of the habit of sleeping with Max in my room. I think I disturb him too much when I am restless and having a bad sleep night. Plus, he is going to outgrow the co-sleeper anytime. Although, I realized last night that I could take that down and put the pack-n-play in its place. Max does sleep in my bed occasionally. We napped together today. If he wakes up after 4:30 – 5 ish and I am really tired and not ready to get up yet, I will usually feed him lying down and we will both doze back off until time to get up. But, I worry about him suffocating. My bed is high so I worry about him falling off when he starts rolling over at will. I tend to sleep in a more awkward position causing me more back/shoulder problems. But, most of all, I disturb him to much if I am in and out of bed or turn on the light to read or turn on the tv.

The other bad habit I was thinking about last night was how often Max falls asleep on the boob. It is often. Not 100%, but probably better than 60%. The problem is that he likes it and I like it. Weaning him next month is going to be hell. I’m not sure I’m up for it. I’m putting all the steps in place for it to happen if either of us looks ready. Okay, not all the steps, because I could be doing things now…like NOT letting him fall asleep on the boob or use it to sooth so often, but I can’t. It will feel like I am trying to wean him now. So, I decided I am not going to even worry about it until next month. If I decided to do it, it will be cold turkey so to speak. It will be rough, but no going back. Because I have decided that, I am not sure I can do it. We will see when the time comes. Short term turmoil for me and for Max versus ttc again knowing that the longer I wait the harder and the odds of me conceiving again go down. And, I would really like another. Tough call.

Max ate like a champ today. After the initial shock to his taste bud (he gets this confused, what’s this expression every time he gets a new flavor), he ate all his cereal/prune mixture. I did a somewhat no-no calculated risk. I started him on peas 2 days ago and I started him on prunes today. Your supposed to wait 3 – 5 days before introducing anything new, but I didn’t know about the whole prune deal until after I had already started the peas. So, I am going to stop the peas for a week and just stick with the prunes and cereal. Then, re-introduce peas next week. Unless, of course, he has a bad reaction. Then, I will regret my decision.

Well, I am still wide awake, but think I am going to sign-off to take a warm bath and read a bit.

Wait….Speaking of warm baths…I took Max in the shower for the first time this morning. After feeding him, he was a mess and I still needed to shower so I got the shower the right temperature and laid him on the floor of the tub while I washed. Then, I washed him. Went pretty well. Better than I expected in fact. He looked a little startled, but didn’t fuss or anything. And, Dr. Dan, my chiropractor fell down the stairs a few weeks ago and needed surgery. He is out of commission for awhile. Poor thing. I really need to get in for an adjustment. The adjustments really do help me. I can tell when I haven’t been in for awhile, especially after being back to work last week and the stress involved, not to mention carrying Max around for several hours a day hiking/walking with the dogs and around the house. But, I will have to stick with warm baths and be better about stretching unless it gets really bad, cause I am to lazy to try to find someone new and it just wouldn’t be the same.