I wonder

This may sound odd, but as I sit here another night pumping yet again...I wonder when I am going to stop. I know I wanted to make it at least to the year mark. That has come and gone. The twins 1 year ped appointment is next Monday and rumor has it that they can be switched to whole milk at any time and one does not need to adjust for the prematurity in this. We will get his take next week. However, even if he does give the green light, I'm not sure that I'm ready, willing, and able to stop just yet. Certainly, I'm tired of it even if it has become habit and routine for us all. I wonder if there is any significant extra benefit for them to continue to get as much of it as possible. On rare occassion, I still attempt to offer each a chance at the breast. They smile and laugh at me and make it clear that there is no interest so I'm not holding out for that. Maybe I will drop the middle of the day pump and just do morning and night and introduce cows milk and plan to go until the end of the summer or early fall, even if not necessary to adjust for the prematurity, just because. Or, maybe I will just get sick of it one day after I'm sure they can tolerate the cows milk and we've run out of forumla (cause I'm not buying any more of that I tell you...I'm done happily with that in my own mind) and just stop. I wonder. I thought I'd be more than ready to stop given the slightest reason and oddly, I find that I am not.