No making me happy

Sometimes, I think, there is no making me happy. I actually felt almost like a normal human being today. A tired one, yes. But, normal. And, Max hasn't been sleeping well waking up several times during the night and getting up extremely early...that dreaded 4 am hour. I had a passing thought that maybe all the babies are dead, then reminded myself how unlikely that was and that finally it was just being on the downward hormone swing anyway, then with two.

Max woke me up out of a sound sleep about an hour ago to tell me that he "didn't want Big Jet" (who does pretty mean things in a few Little Einstein episodes". I told him that's great because Big Jet isn't here and Big Jet is just pretend anyway. Then, he told me he needed a fresh diaper. Refused to have PJ bottoms put back on, and back to bed he went.

I went back to bed, trying to get back to sleep. I just got up to go to the bathroom that is probably less than 20 steps from my bed. And, damn it, I'm bleeding again. In those few steps it had dripped down my legs and there was a path on the floor from the bed to the toilet. Thank goodness for wood and tile floors, eh? No warning. Just like that. Now, I'm feeling crampy. I hate this. I was told it wasn't uncommon to have some bleeding after a SR procedure, but to let them know and only get really concerned if I was filling a pad in 60 or maybe it was 30 minutes. Sigh. Have I mentioned how much I hate this? Probably, hopefully, everything is just fine and I won't loose the entire pregnancy. In the mean time, I'll try not to worry since there isn't a darn thing I can do anyway. I'll call OB tomorrow and see if I can get in again and SR doc (who I was really impressed with as she called early this evening to see how I was doing and I told her well with no cramping, bleeding, and was starting to feel better...damn, I probably jinxed myself by saying those words).

I guess things are just not going to be easier here for this pregnancy ever. I just finally start feeling better and now have to deal with this repeat bleeding episode. I really, really hate this.

ETA: See? I knew it was too good to be true that I actually desired food and was able to eat dinner last night something that literally hasn't happened in months. God? Universe? Really, I never have to eat dinner again if it means keeping and delivering two healthy babes late this summer. Honest! In related funny Max news, all night he kept wanting to "talk to the restaurant (yes, dinner was take out/pick up) and ordered "cheese, salad, one of these, okay thanks!" with the phone in one hand and the menu in another.