Not Cycling

I’m not cycling this month. I’m not. Although I did have a brief thought of trying to get in early next week after our trip to see if anything is growing. I probably won’t because I think I still have a cyst or two left over from my last cycle in spite of being on BCP’s for a month.

Even though I’m not cycling, I did cd3 labs today and a bunch of other things. Well, you know, just because. A total of 8 tests.

I also saw Dr. P today. First time since Dr. N’s funereal. It was a bit hard and we both got teary eyed. I went in because I had heard that breast u/s were better than mammograms and my friends cancer was discovered by an u/s, not a mammogram. It turns out that an MRI is the best and what ultimately discovered H’s cancer (talked to her after my appointment), but it is thousands and insurance won’t cover it. So, I’m doing second best and getting a screening mammogram and a Sonocine Whole Breast Ultrasound. Insurance also won’t cover it (will self bill to see if I can get insurance to pay if the provider won’t bill on my behalf), but it is only $300 and I’m getting $50 off for agreeing to be in the FDA study.

Poor Max. He had such a hard time settling tonight. I think he is still not asleep, but is at least quiet in his crib. Rarely. Very, very rarely do we have problems at bed time. Tonight is one of them. Since I over analyzed the situation while trying to get him to settle, I decided there were three contributing factors. One, a bit over tired since he woke up early (and cranky) from his nap. Two, a bit of gas and possibly a tummy ache. He kept farting and saying “ugh, ugh, poo, poo”. Three, a big memorable afternoon. When he woke up crabby from his nap, he wanted to see the “chu choo” video (Baby Einstein’s On the Go”) and then wanted to see a real train. I gave Noemi directions to the train depot (Max and I have been going after our morning walk on the weekends and have seen a few trains, one really close up), but she was hesitant (doesn’t like going new places unless I have shown her how to get there by physically driving there and back). Instead, she took Max on the Metrolink bus for an outing for the first time. He came home saying “chu choo”, but I told him it wasn’t a train it was a bus (started saying bus just yesterday for the first time) and the rest of the night he kept saying “no chu choo, bus, bus, bus, bus, bus”. That kid of mine is a smart one. I’m amazed at how good his comprehension is and is vocabulary is getting better and bigger all the time.

I briefly thought over the weekend that maybe I could be happy with just one. I’ve been thinking about it on and off, but really don’t think that is the answer for me or my family. Dr. P and I talked about me moving to DE vs. adoption and having a sibling or two or holding steady with Max. I know if I try DE and it fails (including any FET’s assuming there is anything to freeze), I’m done. But, I still feel like I need to try a few more times on my own and then move to DE. So, I’m not cycling, but I’m thinking about it.

In other news, my new acu has gone up in my personal opinion poll. She recommended acidophilus for my IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and within minutes of taking it, I felt so much better. It was quite incredible. She also recommended a bunch of other things that I also got and am taking, but that acidophilus man. I felt a noticeable improvement not just in my bowels, but in general across my entire body. And, I am so much less hungry after taking it. She told me that would likely happen since my body hasn’t been absorbing nutrients it was in a feedback loop telling me I was hungry to eat more to try to get nutrients. She also explained how and why it worked (good bacteria in the intestines) and that it could also be used for constipation. All I know is that finally, I think I have found something that will help instead of the Imodium AD which prevented “accidents” when I couldn’t be near a toilet. I didn’t realize how much the IBS was dragging me down until I started getting some relief. I see the acu again tomorrow before heading out on our trip (not packed, have no lists created on what I need to take, don’t even know what suitcase to use and may go buy a new one). So many things to do, most of which I don’t feel like doing. I do think I will go have dinner (yikes, already 8:30), take a warm bath, and read of a bit.