Where’s Waldo?

I guess it has been awhile since I have been around and posted an update. Nothing much going on. Just haven’t felt like being on the computer. After Max is down for the night I have been catching up on things/people and escaping in fiction. I started a post about Max and how fast he is growing and changing and the clever new things he is doing these days, but I haven’t had a chance to finish it. Easter weekend was very nice. My sister and I decided to start a new tradition and celebrate on Saturday afternoon/evening. It worked out so well. Max and I both napped Easter morning, then I found a church service in the early afternoon. I’m glad I made that effort. Haven’t much felt like talking. Been in my own little world. Getting things done like taxes and bills and getting a new car seat, etc. Can you believe that Max has almost grown out of his infant seat? He is just 1 lbs shy of the weight limit and I think he has passed the length limit. I still miss my Lucky an awful lot. The other day, I forgot. Hard to believe. I don’t f eel like going into all the details because just thinking about it gets me upset all over. Shadow has really, really slowed down also. She wants to go out, but has no speed or endurance. This means that I am not getting the exercise and endorphin rush I am used to which isn’t helping. I just can’t leave her behind though. She is so excited (barking, tail waggin’ raring) at the start. Plus, I guess I am officially back on the ttc roller coaster. I did the PIO shot to force a period a few weeks ago and had a period this week. I go in for a fluid u/s tomorrow to make sure I’m polyp and fibroid free. The plan is to go with a medicated IUI and do cd3 testing on my first real cycle about a month from now. We will be doing the stim protocol that got me pregnant with Max…5 amps Gonal F for 2 days, dropping to 3 amps Gonal F and alternating in 1 amp of Repronex every other day. No Lupron. Not really looking forward to being back in the game. I want another kid (or two), but the ttc road is just so hard and emotional. I’m just hoping that it is a short run. I would not say I am depressed, but would say that I have been very moody lately. One minute laughing and having a great time, the next teary eyed and sad. The one thing I do know is that having Max is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is such a joy to be around. Sometimes, I look at him and wonder how I got so lucky. Those are the “highs”. Then, something happens, like eating pistachio’s, and I miss Lucky so much it hurts because I would give her the closed ones and she would crack them and shell them and eat the nut. Those are the “lows”. Then, Max will look at me and light up with a smile. And, on goes life.